Wow! I bring up a question and come back at night to some excellent responses...thank you! Since I asked the question I suppose I should answer to some extent as well. First, I really think the answer to this question is not something we will ever know fully in this lifetime. I really think it is something we figure out for ourselves as to what is our purpose in life. I guess that's why I asked it the way I did. So far since leaving the borg I have found for the first time freedom of mind in a way I have never experienced. I appreciate this more than I can say. I think it is possible happiness is the purpose of our life because it is what we all ultimately try and achieve. For me I guess I will narrow it down to what has driven me since I was very young, probably since I was 10-13 yrs. That is, helping others in some way. This is because that is what makes me truly happy. If I can't be helpful to others you might as well shoot me because I will be miserable. This is what drove me to pioneer, work on kingdom halls, give talks and the like. I did that mainly because i believed living the borg way was the best way and the way to truly help people. In time I saw this was not the case. The borg way could in fact be very detrimental to people. I haven't believed in the borg for a few years now and have been physically absent for close to a year. I have been healing and figuring out ways to help people since this gives me purpose. I am not sure I have it all figured out yet but I have a good start I think. I do things to help myself so I can help others as well. I work a fair amount of course which helps me and my son. I am on a softball team now which mostly helps me but by extension helps others cuz all work and no play makes Bav a pain in the ass. I have also been getting into meditation and Buddhism which helps me and those around me as well. In Milwaukee we have been able to put together a small group of us ex-dubs for weekly support (if you will). I hope to see this extended in the future and perhaps that is what I will focus on since I have the background in the borg and I truly believe in Steve Hassan's appeal when he asked former members of cults to get involved. Time will tell but I will always look for new opportunity's. Thanks again for all your' responses...I personally found them to be very encouraging!
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"Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?" - Pema Chodron