On a positive note...

by bavman 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • bavman
    bavman

    For those that have been out of the borg awhile...now that you are no longer part of the dubs, what positive things do you like to be involved in? What is your' purpose in life?

  • Evesapple
    Evesapple

    Let's see there so much more time to focus on living now. I can enjoy my hobbies without guilt of worry that I should be reading spiritual material instead or be out more in the field.

    I've joined running groups....I've involved with Team in Training for the past 2 years raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and will be doing a 100 mile bike ride in June. I love reading so I got some reading groups together (those kind of turned into wine parties ) As a result, I've found some really great friends, diverse friends from all walks of life and faith. I've learned there is a really great world out there, yes there is a lot of bad things happening, but there is definetly a lot of good as well and being out has taught me to see the good, and cherish and relish every moment of my life....and not wait to live "forever" to do it.

  • morty
    morty

    I love volunteering and not feeling guilty.....

    most of all, I love watching my children play their sports and no one telling me they should not be soooo dedicated to a ball...

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    I live my life as I feel it should be lived.

    I do my best to do various community good type activities I can. I both support and help Doctors Without Borders, volunteer at a local free clinic one weekend a month. I've "earmarked" 10% of my income to donate to various charitable groups. I am involved and go to a Unitarian Church and a Buddhist Temple. I go when I WANT to go, and am happy when I do go. This is probably 2 times a month. At the clinic that I both partially own and manage we earmark 5% of our profits to go to local charity groups to help out the immediate community.

    My job brings me great reward. I see people everyday that come into my office crippled up with pain. After, consulting with me and undergoing various options including surgery, they are back to pain free, healthy, happy adults again. Now, not everyone is as fortunate as this but my success rate is over 90% of people being happy with the results they seek after 1 year. I MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO PEOPLE EVERY DAY!!! How empowering this? When I get letters telling me what a difference I've made in people's lives it is humbling.

    I also have time to pursue my hobby of glass blowing. I also have been fortunate enough to have the time and money to ride my moutain bike in many far off parts of the world. I have seen many of God's unique enviroments. I also surf and enjoy the enviroment.

    Having said all that.... I try to live my live as balanced as I can. I think American's in particular are unbalanced in our work / leisure time. Our European cousins are more enlightened in this matter. Is there room for improvement? Absolutely. But it is MY life and try and do things that I WANT to do, not feel like I have to.

    One of my buddhism teachers once told me, "Humility is knowing your limits. It is also knowing when to ask for help". I had never thought of humility this way. We as western culture tend to tell ourselves we can do anything we set our mind to. This is true to an extent, but at what personal sacrifice? Also, by asking for help we realize we may not know everything.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Morty - your positivity gleams through! What a lovely new avatar - gorgeous hair!

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    I love my work as well as my research. Working also in several shools setting up salmon and trout projects keeps me movin..Home, house, two rentals and a few other persuits keep me out of the alleys!

    Of course, I've been away from Jdubland for over 45 years so life has been very full and rewarding.

    carmel

  • bavman
    bavman

    Wow! I bring up a question and come back at night to some excellent responses...thank you! Since I asked the question I suppose I should answer to some extent as well. First, I really think the answer to this question is not something we will ever know fully in this lifetime. I really think it is something we figure out for ourselves as to what is our purpose in life. I guess that's why I asked it the way I did. So far since leaving the borg I have found for the first time freedom of mind in a way I have never experienced. I appreciate this more than I can say. I think it is possible happiness is the purpose of our life because it is what we all ultimately try and achieve. For me I guess I will narrow it down to what has driven me since I was very young, probably since I was 10-13 yrs. That is, helping others in some way. This is because that is what makes me truly happy. If I can't be helpful to others you might as well shoot me because I will be miserable. This is what drove me to pioneer, work on kingdom halls, give talks and the like. I did that mainly because i believed living the borg way was the best way and the way to truly help people. In time I saw this was not the case. The borg way could in fact be very detrimental to people. I haven't believed in the borg for a few years now and have been physically absent for close to a year. I have been healing and figuring out ways to help people since this gives me purpose. I am not sure I have it all figured out yet but I have a good start I think. I do things to help myself so I can help others as well. I work a fair amount of course which helps me and my son. I am on a softball team now which mostly helps me but by extension helps others cuz all work and no play makes Bav a pain in the ass. I have also been getting into meditation and Buddhism which helps me and those around me as well. In Milwaukee we have been able to put together a small group of us ex-dubs for weekly support (if you will). I hope to see this extended in the future and perhaps that is what I will focus on since I have the background in the borg and I truly believe in Steve Hassan's appeal when he asked former members of cults to get involved. Time will tell but I will always look for new opportunity's. Thanks again for all your' responses...I personally found them to be very encouraging!
    _________________
    "Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?" - Pema Chodron

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    Bav

    I just live my life as a happier person overall. I do what I want to do. I love to sing, play ball, and swear until my heart is content. I often reflect upon how different my life is 2 years later. I have started to find new friends who care about me more than those I knew most of my life. Overall it's been great. It's hard to put into words how much more self fulfilling my life has become since leaving.

  • morty
    morty
    Morty - your positivity gleams through! What a lovely new avatar - gorgeous hair!

    Thank you very much Crumpet.....I try to stay positive most of the time.... and the hair, thats all I got going for me...lol...

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    I enjoy making furniture and helping my sons that want my help. I am involved in community projects and I work in real estate sales and investment. My favorite thing is spending time with my grandson. This week he will be 21 months old.

    With spring finally here, there is more to do than time to do it. We live on an acreage with trees and lawns and wildlife. Dakota summers can be very nice, warm days and cool nights.


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