Posts by prgirl

6

A child's questions on the invasion of Iraq.

by Sirius Dogma in

daddy, why did we have to attack iraq?

questions and answers about foreign policy (and the u.s. invasion of iraq)

a: even if iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, saddam hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

hi everyone first time posting

by prgirl in

i have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped.

i wasn't sure if i should post, but i have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that i wanted to share mine.

i was never raised jw.

It took me 5 years to get to this point. I feel he has been in this "funk" of not being here or there. I was also really afraid that one day he would go back, and where does that leave me. I made the common mistake of thinking he is having doubts I can help him. If he loves me he will see. Boy it's true love does not conquer all! What has helped me is hearing other peoples stories. Those who were/are married with spouses and children still in it. That is horrible! I also learned to trust my gut feeling which all along was telling me this was wrong! I think the key is he didnt leave because he wanted to. He was disfellowshipped, and views the elders who did that as being to harsh. He also bought that he was doomed after he was disfellowshipped. Never bothered to make friends because he said he was use to being alone, and he trusts no one. This baggage is just too much. I was starting to be unhappy, and I couldn't deal with it anymore.

26

hi everyone first time posting

by prgirl in

i have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped.

i wasn't sure if i should post, but i have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that i wanted to share mine.

i was never raised jw.

prgirl

Lady lee,

thanks for the link!

26

hi everyone first time posting

by prgirl in

i have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped.

i wasn't sure if i should post, but i have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that i wanted to share mine.

i was never raised jw.

prgirl

Thanks everyone for being so welcoming, and understanding!!

KLS,

Thanks for your response. I am so sorry to hear your situation. I have heard stories like this, and realized this is not what I want. I already felt that this was one sided. We had a 70th birthday party for my grandmother. He knows how important she is to me, but no matter what he wouldn't go. My friend of 8 years is getting married he wouldn't go to the service. When his gradmother passed away they didnt go to the funeral service because it was in a Catholic Church. It goes on and on. I was thinking if we were married and had kids. It would always be a battle, and I would always be myself. I wouldn't want my children raised that way.

The hard part is I know he is not totally oblivious to this. He would say I would leave him resent him, because i think he knew he didnt want to do anything. He knows what the problems are with the organization and would say it, but sometimes he would defend them! I realized you can show them all you want, and unless they are willing to hear you it doesn't matter.

26

hi everyone first time posting

by prgirl in

i have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped.

i wasn't sure if i should post, but i have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that i wanted to share mine.

i was never raised jw.

prgirl

Hi Avishai,

Thanks for your kind response. Regarding your question I love the gym that I go to. I met a very close friend of mine there. We work out together for the most part. I can't beat the price there either. I have considered whether I should go somewhere else because it is hard to see him there. The only place I go for some stress relief and he is there. Hopefully he will be moved to another gym like they have before. I would go to the same gym in another location, but none of them are close to where I live. I was also thinking why should I change my schedule? I don't feel like I did anything wrong, but I will admit it's hard to see him. Some days it's easier than others. I am getting used to going though, and knowing he will be there.

26

hi everyone first time posting

by prgirl in

i have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped.

i wasn't sure if i should post, but i have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that i wanted to share mine.

i was never raised jw.

prgirl

Thank you! This has been so hard 5 years in a relationship, but they say time heals all wounds! I truly believe I am doing the right thing for myself. It has been especially difficult because he works as the manager at the gym I go to. I am usually with my friend so it's easier. I am trying to at this point just be by myself, and focus on finishing my bachelor's degree next year. I am going though all of the emotions from being hurt, angry, resentful. Sometimes I feel how pathethic! but sometimes I do feel bad for him. I am glad I learned a lot about JW's, and mind control in general. I guess my point is before someone gets involved with a JW, or a former JW who really hasn't moved on to be careful. You are only setting yourself up for a lot of heartache.

26

hi everyone first time posting

by prgirl in

i have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped.

i wasn't sure if i should post, but i have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that i wanted to share mine.

i was never raised jw.

prgirl

Hi Everyone,

I have been reading the posts for a while now, and it has really helped. I wasn't sure if i should post, but I have been so touched reading about other peoples experiences that I wanted to share mine. I was never raised JW. I met my ex boyfriend 5 years ago. We broke up four months ago. He was raised a JW all his life. He is one of 6 kids was baptized at the age of 12. He was disfellowshipped at the age of 17 for premartial sex. I thought that if we loved each other we could work out our differences. His parents are still and always will be in the "truth". He still lives at home, and to me has never moved on. From the beginning I always felt like something was wrong. He would tell me JWs beliefs, tell me how he was raised, and i decided to research it for myself. I could never understand how shunning was okay. I was bothered when I went to the memorial, and they acted as if he didn't exist. I started researching, and felt even more that this was all wrong. The division it causes in families, shunning, education, blood and the list goes on. He read the boook Crisis of Concience, and I was hoping it would help. He would tell me he wouldn't go back, but he really has never moved on. I was the only friend he had. He never bothered to make friends after he was disfellowshipped. When other witnesses were at the house we would call me constantly. I think he still believes a lot in the "truth" and feels he is doomed. During the course of our relationship he never went to birthdays, wedding etc with me, but yet he would ask me to go to the memorial or his family functions! I now see that relationships like these don't work. I am learning to accept I cannot get him out of this. He will have to find his way out. I must live my life and accept that he might never really leave and move on. It has been painful to think that their organization is more important to him than me. These people who don't care about him at all. I thought he might move on because he would say he didn't want to go back, and he would tell me how there were things wrong. I invested too much of my time, love, and energy. I I am still angry and resentful, but know with time it will get better. There is no compromise in this situation, and I knew I wanted nothing to do with JW's. I consider myself fortunate that I don't have a child with him, that we are not married, and most of all that my family is not JW. I guess I will end it here. I feel like I have been all over the place with this post. It feels good to realize I am not the only one who has been in a relationship with a former JW. To realize what i was feeling and thinking was right. I have learned a great deal, and I think that the message needs to come out to expose the real "truth" to help those who have left and are mourning, and feeling, afraid, angry, hurt! To help those who are thinking of joining this organization. Keep up the good work!!