Posts by dubstepped

18

Are you a woman? Do you know one?

by dubstepped in

if you can answer yes to either question, you should consider listening to the latest episode of "shunned".

in it, brenda tells her story inside the flds cult, a story of women and what they go through.

this is happening right here in the united states.

dubstepped

Oh yeah, I believe old Joseph Smith was quite the womanizer and polygamist. Although the FLDS is kind of the denomination that is looked down on by the Mormons I can imagine that the attitudes are pervasive.

The above isn't a video, but a podcast, and usually I feature ex-JWs but I like getting to see how other cults do their thing too. We all have a lot we could learn from one another. When you first start leaving the JWs you feel so alone. When you get out you find other ex-JWs and that helps those feelings subside to some degree. Seeing that others go through so much like we did, sometimes more extreme as in this case, but that the tactics used are so similar, helps us to see that we aren't alone even on another level.

Congrats to your friend and her family.

18

Are you a woman? Do you know one?

by dubstepped in

if you can answer yes to either question, you should consider listening to the latest episode of "shunned".

in it, brenda tells her story inside the flds cult, a story of women and what they go through.

this is happening right here in the united states.

dubstepped

If you can answer yes to either question, you should consider listening to the latest episode of "shunned". In it, Brenda tells her story inside the FLDS cult, a story of women and what they go through. This is happening right here in the United States. In a world where #metoo represents the pain of so many women, #methree can be used to represent what so many victims of polygamy go through. It's truly harrowing and reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale.

For my ex-JW listeners, you will also see the tactics used to keep all of these people doing what the cult leaders want, tactics that are reflect what was used in Jehovah's Witnesses even if the results weren't as extreme.

At the border of the states of Utah and Arizona lies another world, a community known as Short Creek. A patriarchal world of polygamy with sister wives, where women have few rights, and where certain men have all of the power. This episode is a fascinating look into a world that most will never enter, a world led by a man (Warren Jeffs) that now is serving a life sentence plus twenty years for child sexual assault.

A brave woman named Brenda escaped from this community and gives us a detailed view into the life and feelings of those that live in the cult of the FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints, a Mormon denomination). This is an intense story of being completely captive to a concept and the struggle for freedom by a woman with a big heart that overcame the lack of freedom over her own body and mind.

Listen and subscribe to the "shunned" podcast on iTunes (Apple Podcasts), Google Play, or wherever you find your podcasts as there are many apps out there (Podcast Republic, Podbean, etc.).

Learn more, get resources, and leave comments for all guests at http://shunnedpodcast.com/episodes/

12

Closure and the death of JW family/friends

by dubstepped in

a few threads recently made me think of how cruel jehovah's witnesses are in shunning around death.

i don't have much experience with death.

i lost my non-jw grandpa when i was 12 (?

dubstepped

@SailAway - I'm so sorry for your loss, and the drama that followed. Your FIL is either a piece of shit or he's just hurting badly and doesn't know how to feel so he's just acting out. I've seen that before. My dad had a moment with me like that. He was a broken person.

Anyway, I like your tree memorial. That's a beautiful tribute.

12

Closure and the death of JW family/friends

by dubstepped in

a few threads recently made me think of how cruel jehovah's witnesses are in shunning around death.

i don't have much experience with death.

i lost my non-jw grandpa when i was 12 (?

dubstepped

Thanks for the kind words everybody. I like and second the recommendation above to memorialize people as you need for closure. Honestly I see no way to do so myself, nor do I care to with my father anymore, but the ways that people typically do so are through community. There is no community of people other than JWs that likely knew your dead JW loved one. I wasn't really looking for ways to fix anything, more just shining a light on how messed up they are and how they steal so much from people.

10

What does Two witness mean for child abuse?

by Canadian Sunshine in

i am not a jw.

my mother in law is.

my husband is not a jw, but he did attend with her through his child years and teen years but stopped once he was 15. his mother never made him or his siblings attend if they did not want to.i am trying to understand this organization to understand my mother in law better.

dubstepped

Put simply, only if there are two witnesses to an accusation is it taken seriously. Out of the mouth of two witnesses is a matter established, so says the Bible (paraphrasing). So when a kid says they've been abused, unless someone can corroborate their account, Jehovah's Witnesses just shrug it off, or in some cases blame the accuser for lying.

Look, the problem isn't the two witness rule itself. It's tough when any matter is the word of one person against another. The problem is that the JWs are indoctrinated to see the elders as the arbiter of everything in life. They go to them with personal problems, marital problems, etc. These men hold court over the congregation and judge matters of morality and see child sexual abuse through the lens if morality, not criminality.

Child sexual abuse is a criminal matter yet they insist on handling it. They are not trained to do so. They cannot professionally investigate matters. They do not understand how predators work. Therefore predators go free in the cult. They don't often report to the proper authorities because they've been trained to always turn to elders. Elders have the job of maintaining appearances and therefore discourage people from going to the police.

12

Closure and the death of JW family/friends

by dubstepped in

a few threads recently made me think of how cruel jehovah's witnesses are in shunning around death.

i don't have much experience with death.

i lost my non-jw grandpa when i was 12 (?

dubstepped

A few threads recently made me think of how cruel Jehovah's Witnesses are in shunning around death. I don't have much experience with death. I lost my non-JW grandpa when I was 12 (?) and I remember being devastated. I was close to him. I wanted to stay home but my mom insisted I go to the viewing for closure. Damn, I had no idea how much I needed that. It was tough, but I remember the outpouring of emotion and how much lighter I felt afterward. Then we went back to his house and sat around with family, including grandma, and just told stories. It was so therapeutic.

Fast forward to a couple years ago. I've been shunned for 6 months officially, over a year unofficially by family. My dad dies and I'm not invited to the memorial service. No time with family to reminisce. No final viewing or anything. My dad and I had a VERY complicated relationship but it would have been nice to reminisce, to see his spot on the couch at his home empty, those things that signify loss, that someone is missing.

I did see him in hospice once. It was weird to be un-shunned for 40 minutes or so to visit. I was in the middle of a workday and was caught off guard by it all. Told my dad that I'd come spend more time the next day if I could. Mom made it sound like he was to die that day so I rushed over. That wasn't the case so I figured maybe tomorrow I'd have more time to process, more time to spend.

I decided against going back because it ended as well as it was going to. I told my mom that we probably couldn't make it back that next day to which she let me know "oh honey, you weren't to come back, that was it", one last little hit at the end. So confusing emotionally in such a weird time.

Jehovah's Witnesses are such a cruel breed of human when shunning even around death. Inhuman even in the most human of moments. They will rob you even of ultimate closure. They just disappear, vanish like ghosts. Closure is hard to ever get from such situations.

52

My JW Elder Brother Passed Away

by minimus in

jw
friends

he was basically a good man, just a believer in the religion.

when we were both elders we were best of friends and then things deteriorated when i was not an elder for a while.

then after becoming an elder again, i slowly drifted away from the religion and he drifted further away from me.

dubstepped

So sorry Minimus. That wretched cult just destroys the moments of life (and death) that humans connect through, especially families.

226

Wealth, Poverty, and Morality

by SecondRateMind in

jw
friends

i am interested in the approach this forum takes to money.

apart from sex, (which i am quite relaxed about) it seems to me that wealth is the surest divider between those who are moral, and those who are not.. it seems jesus thought so, also.

luke 16:19-31 kjv describes well enough his dusty attitude to the rich who do not succour the poor.. and this world has many poor: so many, it might seem that we can do nothing about it, and twist his words; 'the poor ye shall have always with you, but me, ye shall not have always.

dubstepped

The market won't bear fairy tale prices. With that said I was offering almost three times the minimum wage for a relatively easy gig at $20/hour on one building. If it worked out there would be more opportunities. Still, people can not even write one coherent sentence in response or just say 'I'll do it' when asked to give me information on their qualifications.

@hoser - Be better. Don't be marginal. If you want marginal go be the moron that can never stop putting cheese on my food when it's my one ask and I'm ordering for one. You'll make minimum wage and then you can bitch about the man holding you down while you do nothing to change your situation.

Cleaning is about details. If you cannot follow simple instructions you cannot work independently. I won't be there to babysit these people. Again, you have advice without knowing anything about what I was offering.

My friends have a handyman service. They have struggled for a decade to find help. People don't even show up for the interviews they beg for. One guy was stealing supplies they gave him for a job, doing his own work on the side, kept needing more if this or that, and they caught him.

Want more out of life? Be better. You have to grow as a person. Nobody can give you that and I sure as heck didn't work my ass off for 18 years building an impeccable reputation to hand off a job to people that can't follow simple directions and don't care enough to try to sell themselves as a good candidate.

I had three great candidates the first day out of a ton of responses. I emailed all three back with a few further questions and more about us. Only one of those replied. She seemed great. I emailed back to arrange an interview and have heard not one word back.

We have a full schedule of work, probably 20 families on a waiting list and people wait years for an opening. I turn down work all the time. Where are these other great workers out there? Where are all the people saying there are no jobs? This is cleaning work. The barrier to entry is low though to command good prices you have to deliver the goods by under promising and over delivering. I can't even get people to send an email with any care shown. What's it going to be like when I hire them and send them into offices of lawyers and engineers to take care of a three story office building on their own?

I'm good with not hiring. This is an experiment. It's not proving to be a fruitful one so far. I grew up poor. I know what it's like not to know where dinner is coming from. I know what it's like to rise above and have people around you pull you back trying to keep you poor with them to excuse their lot in life and lack of application. I'm not rich, but my wife and I do well for ourselves because we learned and grew and didn't blame everyone else for our lot in life.

226

Wealth, Poverty, and Morality

by SecondRateMind in

jw
friends

i am interested in the approach this forum takes to money.

apart from sex, (which i am quite relaxed about) it seems to me that wealth is the surest divider between those who are moral, and those who are not.. it seems jesus thought so, also.

luke 16:19-31 kjv describes well enough his dusty attitude to the rich who do not succour the poor.. and this world has many poor: so many, it might seem that we can do nothing about it, and twist his words; 'the poor ye shall have always with you, but me, ye shall not have always.

dubstepped

Lol, what are you talking about hoser? What do you even know of my business?

226

Wealth, Poverty, and Morality

by SecondRateMind in

jw
friends

i am interested in the approach this forum takes to money.

apart from sex, (which i am quite relaxed about) it seems to me that wealth is the surest divider between those who are moral, and those who are not.. it seems jesus thought so, also.

luke 16:19-31 kjv describes well enough his dusty attitude to the rich who do not succour the poor.. and this world has many poor: so many, it might seem that we can do nothing about it, and twist his words; 'the poor ye shall have always with you, but me, ye shall not have always.

dubstepped

I just watched a relative piss on anyone that would send a thank you follow up note after an interview, and watched others follow. How dare they, the poor, bow to the man like that? It's beneath them. They have such a chip on their shoulder that to even be nice to someone that might give you a job is seen as groveling. Comments like "they just want to see how desperate you are to get that paper" and "they just want to make money off you" are depressing and reflective of the poor I grew up with. Full of entitlement, ego, and utter ignorance. Let them be poor. They don't deserve better. Be humble and hungry and you can change your life. We shouldn't cast pearls before swine. They won't appreciate it.

I'm trying to expand my cleaning business right now. Placed an ad, got lots of initial responses, but few will return my emails. They just want me to give them something and I'm just supposed to hand over a check and the keys to a building that I was entrusted with. It's so frustrating. If you don't want to play the game then you get nothing. I'm not some greedy corporate scum, and for that matter neither are most, even at high levels. I'm supposed to take the risk, give your lazy ass a job, do the accounting, handle human resources bullshit for some ungrateful person that looks for ways to sue me, set your schedule, market the business, sell the jobs, but I don't deserve profit? Screw a bunch of the poor out there. Again, I'd you're truly destitute and without opportunity and need a meal, that's one thing. It's another to give entitled losers something so that they can still talk bad about you.

This thread is a train wreck. Just utopian ideology based in fairy tales and envy of those with more, moralizing and devaluing the fruits of the labor of those with more. I clean for people with lots of money, far more than me, and they get it by working a ton doing higher level stuff than I do with much larger risk. Good for them.