A few threads recently made me think of how cruel Jehovah's Witnesses are in shunning around death. I don't have much experience with death. I lost my non-JW grandpa when I was 12 (?) and I remember being devastated. I was close to him. I wanted to stay home but my mom insisted I go to the viewing for closure. Damn, I had no idea how much I needed that. It was tough, but I remember the outpouring of emotion and how much lighter I felt afterward. Then we went back to his house and sat around with family, including grandma, and just told stories. It was so therapeutic.
Fast forward to a couple years ago. I've been shunned for 6 months officially, over a year unofficially by family. My dad dies and I'm not invited to the memorial service. No time with family to reminisce. No final viewing or anything. My dad and I had a VERY complicated relationship but it would have been nice to reminisce, to see his spot on the couch at his home empty, those things that signify loss, that someone is missing.
I did see him in hospice once. It was weird to be un-shunned for 40 minutes or so to visit. I was in the middle of a workday and was caught off guard by it all. Told my dad that I'd come spend more time the next day if I could. Mom made it sound like he was to die that day so I rushed over. That wasn't the case so I figured maybe tomorrow I'd have more time to process, more time to spend.
I decided against going back because it ended as well as it was going to. I told my mom that we probably couldn't make it back that next day to which she let me know "oh honey, you weren't to come back, that was it", one last little hit at the end. So confusing emotionally in such a weird time.
Jehovah's Witnesses are such a cruel breed of human when shunning even around death. Inhuman even in the most human of moments. They will rob you even of ultimate closure. They just disappear, vanish like ghosts. Closure is hard to ever get from such situations.