thanks for pointing out the 12 vs. 17 year old difference. I think that difference would affect some aspects of my approach, but my comments regarding hitting remain exactly the same. IMO, hitting another person in the face is a terrible demonstration of disrespect intended to degrade and humiliate. And that is exactly how it is received by the recipient. shameful, really.
also, better be careful who you do it in front of. because in most locations, it would be considered child abuse.
Posts by bisous
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35WHAT would YOU do? Teen issues.....
by onlycurious inmy oldest daughter is a handful.
she has a mouth that just doesn't seem to stop and today we got into it .....again.. well, after a bunch of crap coming out of her mouth, i smacked her on the arm and told her to quit the talking to me that way.. then, it got worse when she kicked me.
geez, how would you have dealt with this kind of thing.. i told her i'm going to send her to a camp this summer where they put her on a giant kite (parasailing) and make her fly off a cliff.
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bisous
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35
WHAT would YOU do? Teen issues.....
by onlycurious inmy oldest daughter is a handful.
she has a mouth that just doesn't seem to stop and today we got into it .....again.. well, after a bunch of crap coming out of her mouth, i smacked her on the arm and told her to quit the talking to me that way.. then, it got worse when she kicked me.
geez, how would you have dealt with this kind of thing.. i told her i'm going to send her to a camp this summer where they put her on a giant kite (parasailing) and make her fly off a cliff.
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bisous
If I'm not mistaken, we are talking about a 17 year old, not a 3 year old or 5 year old. Hitting a 17 year old accomplishes nothing but escalating the situation, teaching them that attempting to resolve something through violence is an acceptable answer. Of course you can gain a temporary upper hand by "beating someone down", but you certainly won't improve or resolve issues in a parent/child relationship by such an approach.
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35
WHAT would YOU do? Teen issues.....
by onlycurious inmy oldest daughter is a handful.
she has a mouth that just doesn't seem to stop and today we got into it .....again.. well, after a bunch of crap coming out of her mouth, i smacked her on the arm and told her to quit the talking to me that way.. then, it got worse when she kicked me.
geez, how would you have dealt with this kind of thing.. i told her i'm going to send her to a camp this summer where they put her on a giant kite (parasailing) and make her fly off a cliff.
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bisous
All that "backhanding someone in the kisser" demonstrates is your own inability to control yourself.
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35
WHAT would YOU do? Teen issues.....
by onlycurious inmy oldest daughter is a handful.
she has a mouth that just doesn't seem to stop and today we got into it .....again.. well, after a bunch of crap coming out of her mouth, i smacked her on the arm and told her to quit the talking to me that way.. then, it got worse when she kicked me.
geez, how would you have dealt with this kind of thing.. i told her i'm going to send her to a camp this summer where they put her on a giant kite (parasailing) and make her fly off a cliff.
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bisous
I went through several rough years with my daughter ... she had a lts of emotional swings growing up which she didn't control well ... I agree with some here ... engaging them in the heat of the moment only escalates things.
And the hit back sentiment ... wow, the messages that reinforces are wrong on so many levels. If you have to hit your 17 year old ... or any age ... what does that say about you? what does mimicing bad behavior accomplish?
walk away, count to ten, disengage ... my daughter is in her 20s now, you do live through it. She has shared with me how guilt-ridden and frustrating those years were for her, the feeling out of control. I believe a good portion of it is hormonal.
In the end, IMO, it really is about letting go. Trusting you've laid the right foundation, and relinquishing control. At 17, they are very near ready to fly. Listen more, love more, and just be there (a presence) for her. -
32
What would you do?
by Xena inwe recently hired a sales person for our company.
she is a friend of a a friend of the owners.
it's a small company and a lot of the time i'm alone upstairs in our office.
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bisous
"I'm heading home. They aren't real happy but the guy has already violated this parole showing he is willing to go back to jail so it's no worth the risk IMO for me to stay here.
Thanks for you imput, I appreciate it. I wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting." -
32
What would you do?
by Xena inwe recently hired a sales person for our company.
she is a friend of a a friend of the owners.
it's a small company and a lot of the time i'm alone upstairs in our office.
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bisous
Can you work from home? as in telecommute? Seriously ... it isn't usually that hard to do and since you are short term ...
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73
Recommend a car
by Simon ini hate cars.
they just cost money and eventually rust away.. however, given that it's pretty difficult to do anything without one in north america and that we now need another because angharad got a job (yay), does anyone have any good suggestions?.
things i want:.
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bisous
One cannot top German engineering.
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28
Daily Text from JH and Minimus
by coolhandluke ini lurk here more often than i post anymore but there is a commonality every time i log on.
the daily text.
at times these threads are the longest ones on the board until the next day when the topic is pulled from the daily text recycle bag or wherever it is they get them from, and prominently displayed on the active topics page in technicolor for viewers like you and me.
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bisous
I understand the connection. If you are around long enough, you'll see that the questions rehash themselves just as the daily text did. There is a similarity and one might wonder if it is a carryover ...
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21
USA - Don't Pump Gas on May 15th.
by onlycurious inon may 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices.
gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places.
there are 73,000,000+ american members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up.
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bisous
That is the price we pay (and frankly very low in comparison to many other countries) for the type of vehicles we continue to insist upon driving; and our dependence upon oil-related vehicles. We respond en masse to the auto manufacturers products. We (as in the consumer) are in large part responsible for our consumption and its price. It is about time we paid our fair share.
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32
First impressions of Dallas
by Crumpet inhi all - well i got here a few hours ago.
the flight started off well, but i got over greenland and suddenly got very ill - high temperature, and nausea.
i called the flight attendants who moved to the back and in the process i fainted.
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bisous
can't wait to meet you! I think I'm following you on Saturday to the big event!!!