Alana

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Posts by Alana

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  65

  the R word

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok people we need to talk.. if you put up on this forum the n word, the d word, the c word.....i don't even want to spell them out because i am not going to offend people i care about.

  if you need to know send me a pm.

  you know the words that trigger the gut reactions.

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  Alana

  I have tried to compose several replies, this is probably my 4th, but Mary basically said my thoughts in a nutshell. If there is malicious intent directly specifically at someone, then that is one thing, but people can innocently use phrases or words that may be offensive to some and not to others. Sometimes it can be a matter of regional or cultural differences that may result in words or actions that may be taken offensively. That is where balance and tolerance and understanding is needed. Any word or description has the potential to be demeaning or insulting if used in such a way. So, I think we all need to keep in mind the intent of words spoken.

  Being of the blonde persuasion and being 1/2 Polish, heaven knows how many jokes or comments I've heard....but I haven't taken offense because I know the intent was not to harm. Perhaps that is because it was from friends or people with whom I felt comfortable and I think that in online communities we sometimes have that same feeling of familiarity and since we don't really know everyone and their actual life experiences, sometimes we don't realize that things we say could be interpreted in the incorrect manner. Not everyone has the same level of what is offensive and we can't expect everyone to think the same as we do or be offended by the same words. I don't like the N- word, but I've had black friends who used the N- word, but would be offended if a white person used it. While I may not think the same, that is their thought on the matter.

  My daughter uses the phrase "that's retarded" all the time, but that is not any kind of slam to people of special needs. In fact, she is very caring and gets upset and vocal if others do make fun of or laugh at people with any kind of disability....because it is used to intentional hurt someone. So, to me it's not so much the word or words, but the intent that should be looked at before we take offense. How many times may we have made the comment that someone was "crazy"? I'm sure it was not with the intent to be as a slam to people with mental health issues or hurt the families of those loved ones with mental health issues. Yet, it could be taken in that way to some. I think we all need to look beyond the words or phrases and look at the intent of the person who uses the words and sometimes just overlook these indescrecions and then also hope that others will do the same with us when we may inadvertly hurt others with words or actions.

  Just my thoughts.....

  r redneck comments, and so on.
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  29

  Rollerdave returns to the KH!

  by RollerDave in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well folks, it had to happen, i returned to the kingdom hall.. or at least to its parking lot.. but not to worry my little jwd'ers, my return was in true rollerstyle!.

  i had dropped off my mom a few days previous when she made some remarks that steamed me, i had felt she was talking through her teeth, but i now know i could only have been half right.. she calls and rambles a while, then directs me to keep her teeth safe.

  after i got the explanation for this cryptic remark from her i go and investigate..... there, on my bathroom counter, next to the tushie-cleanliness paraphernalia, is an unexplained white plastic container which contained my mother's lower plate.. smelled 'minty.'.

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  Alana

  LOL...I love your flair for writing! I smiled throughout the post and was envisioning the event just as you described it.....and could just see the looks on their faces.....loved it!
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  15

  Jigsaw puzzles anyone?

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i love them.

  there was a time when i always had one on a large cardboard that i could push under the sofa when i needed the table.

  believe me they helped my sanity during my last few years as a dub.. i had to give them up when i got cats because they thought all those nice little puzzle pieces were cat-sized hockey pucks.

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  Alana

  I go to jigzone just about everyday....it is totally addicting! You can also upload your own pictures/graphics to make your own jigsaw puzzles. That is really cool, too.

  As for the 3-D puzzles....I tried one once....the Titantic. It was fun until my beagle (who was a puppy then) thought it was something to try to eat! Then, once you lose base parts, you are pretty much finished. LOL
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  40

  Hi all, I've been lurking.........

  by jibberish in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello, i've been lurking for a few months now.

  like many others here i've been through quite a bit lately, and what i've learned (thanks to jwd) is very eye opening to say the least.

  will write my story when i have time.

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  Alana

  Welcome to JWD, Jibberish! Your story sounds like mine in parts. I hope you find this Board as helpful as I have.

  ~"Alana" (of the "out around 10-years now...and happy with life" class)
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  10

  Today makes 6 years on JWD for me!

  by Alana in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  i may not post as much as some of you all, but i do read it all and you all have been a great support in my journey out of this cult.

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  Alana

  Yay! When I looked at my profile today it said by "membership" that it was 6 years today!! (actually, I was a lurker before that, so it's actually longer.....) So it's my JWD Birthday!!

  I may not post as much as some of you all, but I do read it all and you all have been a great support in my journey out of this cult. I appreciate it all. Thank you all very much!
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  66

  JC is over... now the aftermath

  by drew sagan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first of all, why don't all of you congratulate me on 2000 posts!

  in other news, the jc is over.

  because of this we have an elder that lied to us and to my wife parents.

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  Alana

  Could you explain in more detail what you mean? Right now at this moment they feel that I cannot be saved because of doctrinal issues, that I am just to stubborn. My DA letters purpose is to say that although I was frustrated with a lack of compassion on their part regarding Bible topics, my official reason for leaving is because of the dishonest actions

  First of all -- Congrats on 2000 posts!

  I understand where you are coming from, but in all honesty, no matter what reason you give, I doubt that any other "good" JW will see it as any better than being DF'd. In fact, in my experience, in my congregations we thought it was worse when someone actually DA'd and left of their own accord. At least with being DF'd, there was the thought that perhaps the person was sorry or there was some repentance there, even if they were punished by being DF'd....as it could have been some kind of temporary punishment by the BOE. But, to DA was totally something else.....a true sin.

  I have faded and am neither DA'd or DF'd, but I know people have wondered about my status or reasons and I have heard stories about me. The one I disliked the most was that I left because someone 'did something to me' and I was 'offended' and decided to never return to the KH. I took offense that someone would think I was so petty as to throw away something I truly believed over some slight or offense. (Of course that was not the reason nor do I truly believe that crap....)

  I guess my point is that in my area if you would state that you left because of frustration, lack of compassion, or dishonesty, JWs may just think that you are being petty, that you were tested by Jehovah and failed, and that by your leaving "The Truth" because of the actions of imperfect men (even Elders) and not waiting on Jehovah to make things right....that you are no better than being DF'd (and maybe worse).

  Of course, I'm not saying you are these things.....as we all have to do what we feel is right for ourselves.....I'm just saying that in my neck of the words DA'ing for the elders' dishonestly will not necessarily mean anything to the rank and file. The rank and file JWs may not know of your reasons and will assume that you have sinned against God by chosing to leave. If they are told the reason they may just think you are petty or too easily stumbled (kind of like some of my old friends), after all, it's inconceivable to them that anyone would ever want to leave of their own choice unless they were really deceived by Satan.

  **added later: DUH....I've been out long enough that I keep forgetting what Scully said about how they no longer differentiate between DF and DA when they make the announcement. So I guess that the rank and file JWs won't really know that it was your choice except by your saying so....or by what they "hear" (the wonderful rumor mill......gotta love the gossips.....lol...).
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  5

  Anyone know where to find a site for newspaper frontpage for date of birth?

  by Alana in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, one of the ladies in my office is turning 60 this week and we are having a surprise party for her and am putting together a wall of all kinds of pictures, trivia, fashion, facts, etc., from 1947. i found once a newspaper archive where you could put in your date of birth and get the front page for that day in a picture or .pdf file format.

  i thought that was cool....and it was free.

  i know i used to the site bookmarked.

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  Alana

  That's a cool site, but the site I lost was for an actual newspaper front page scan for that date. Thank you!!
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  5

  Anyone know where to find a site for newspaper frontpage for date of birth?

  by Alana in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well, one of the ladies in my office is turning 60 this week and we are having a surprise party for her and am putting together a wall of all kinds of pictures, trivia, fashion, facts, etc., from 1947. i found once a newspaper archive where you could put in your date of birth and get the front page for that day in a picture or .pdf file format.

  i thought that was cool....and it was free.

  i know i used to the site bookmarked.

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  Alana

  Well, one of the ladies in my office is turning 60 this week and we are having a surprise party for her and am putting together a wall of all kinds of pictures, trivia, fashion, facts, etc., from 1947. I found once a newspaper archive where you could put in your date of birth and get the front page for that day in a picture or .pdf file format. I thought that was cool....and it was free. I know I used to the site bookmarked.

  However, I went to my bookmarked sites and couldn't find this site and I can't for the life of me remember which newspaper it was or anything. I've tried Google searchs, but cannot find what I had before....either nothing or things you need to purchase. I determined that my bookmarked site was probably on my old laptop (may it Rest in Peace....), so I wondered if anyone knew of any such site?? I know it's a long shot, but I thought I would try.

  I've found online magazine covers in online archives and all kinds of facts, trivial, costs, fashions, etc. for this week in 1947, so I won't die if I find this information, but it is just driving me crazy because I KNOW I've seen it before......you know, if I don't find it for the party, I will probably keep searching just because now it is a challenge! LOL :-)

  anyway, if anyone can help, I'd sure appreciate it!!
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  40

  "This Shows We're Living In The Last Days"......Your response???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  atrocities happen all the time.

  student mass murders, genocides, the ozone layer, the environment------you name it----it all points to what witnesses assert as proof that this means we're living in the "last days of the last days".

  how would you respond to such ones?.

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  Alana

  I agree with the other reply that simply states to look at a history book. I love history and almost only read non-fiction so my eyes were opened long ago about all this "world is falling apart" business. JW’s isolating members from outside research and/or education and spoon feeding them only what you want them to know sure helps to feed this "the sky is falling" mentality.

  I know when things happen either locally or elsewhere that is bad, my mom sincerely gets so concerned and scared about how awful the world is now days. The last time she did that (about a month or so ago), she didn't quite know how to respond since I didn't just agree and parrot her thoughts like her JW friends would. I said that I was grateful to live in this day and age and felt more secure because as history shows at least we are somewhat more civilized, there have been such advances in medicine, etc. I brought up other periods in time and how I would have not liked living then and how I would be more fearful in those situations. (i.e., times of plague, the Inquisition, peasant life, the lawless Wild West, the days of Lady Bathory and Vlad the Impaler, not to mention just the many plagues and battles and famines not only in the Bible but throughout all history. There are past times in history that not only was it hard to live to the ripe old age of 50, but when just going out of your shack/home could result in your death or disappearance. The difference today is that we hear about it all almost instantaneously and can hear about news from all over the world and not just our community…..blah, blah, blah. There was just silence on the other end of the phone and then she changed the subject.

  What I hate the most is how it plays on the minds of sincere people like my mom. She is truly scared of this mean old world, rather than trying to enjoy what time she has and looking for good and happiness.
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  40

  JWs and the weird way they say Happy Birthday

  by reneeisorym in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you who don't know -- i'm daed but my mother still sends me very short e-mail about every two months.. this morning she sent me an email that said:.

  25 today.

  it would be sooooo wrong for someone to say -- "happy birthday" .. but its fine to mention that i am 25 today.

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  Alana

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  My mom will call and ask if I'm feeling any older. One year she actually did slip and say "Happy Birthday" and I was stunned silent. Then she realized what she did and stumbled over words. She honestly didn't know what to say or do next. I thanked her and just let it go. My ex-mother-in-law is an uber-JW, yet she would always call my daughter on her birthday and gets pouty if she doesn't get called by my daughter or her (xJW) sons (one being my ex). I refused to call her this year, because I've decided that if you don't celebrate the birthday, then you shouldn't get any recognition for it.

  We also used to have a big buffet place in a town north of the congregation I grew up in which would let you eat for free on your birthday, with proof that it was your birthday. Hmmmm.....I'll give you three guesses who never missed out on that! Several of the elders and their families. Seemed like a celebration to me.....