Posts by MissFit

68

What I Saw & Heard in the Oral Argument Hearing on January 14, 2015

by ABibleStudent in

im not an attorney and i could not record the hearing, so please forgive me if i make mistakes in relating what i remember of the oral argument hearing for jane doe (i.e., candace conti) versus the watchtower bible & tract society on january 14, 2015 and the length of this post.. i arrived at the civic center/union plaza in san francisco, ca about 7:30. the area is very nice with a few homeless people sleeping in the park across from the courthouse.

it took me about 10 minutes to find the clerks office for the court on the first floor, which opened at 8:00.. once the clerks office opened, the two clerks who i talked with were very polite and helpful.

the arguments for jane doe (i.e., candace conti) versus the watchtower bible & tract society were scheduled 5th out of (i think) 8. while i was in the office a cameraman and another person for nbc arrived asking about the hearing for candace contis case.. the courtroom for the 1st appellate court is on the 4th floor and takes up most of that floor.

MissFit

Thank you Robert. Sounds like you had an interesting day.

64

one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

by MissFit in

jw
friends

we talk here about the importance of being mentally and physically out to be really free.. what about being emotionally free?.

i realized for me, i had to be emotionally awake first.

i had been yo-young back and forth for years.

MissFit

I have noticed some new posters on the forum. I hope to get some more input.

Miss.Fit

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

MissFit

Cappytan: Good for you. Some times we have to scare ourselves before we get help. Has finding out about TTATT made things easier or harder?

Do you still practice cognitive therapy?

Redvip & Bugbear: Thanks for sharing.

I would compare myself to others.

After I woke up I realized how much the org. used fear of the big A like other religions used hell fire.

Miss.Fit

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

MissFit

Wholovesmagic: hey twins!! Lol. OMG talk about almost identical paths. Welcome. Thanks for posting. I hope to get to "know" you. It seems we have alot in common.

I was fringed too, even when I was regular. How did your husband view the JWs and your involvement?

My husband was neutral. As long as I didnt preach to him, he was fine. I did mything and he did his. I think he liked the quiet time when I took the kids with me.

I never told him about my death sentence (or his. )

You wised up before I did. I tried reactivating myself and lasted almost 2 years before I admitted defeat. I was still in mentally until 2013. I had been irregular and edging towards being inactive again. I made conventions and the memorial.

I agree the load is lighter now.

Miss.Fit

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

MissFit

Cappytan: I am so sorry you went through such a dark time. I am glad you had your children to hold on to. That must have really been a wake up call. How did you recover? Did you get professional help to pull you up?

I went through a dark time last year also. I think the main thing that saved me was the fact that I didnt have an easy way to do it handy. I never thought of using my husband's gun. I didnt have pills on hand. I was actively thinking of ways. The thought of my daughter helped. I got good advice and support from this community and saw a doctor.

That is the danger of our thinking this life is a temporary way station, our present life is devalued.

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

MissFit

I hope to hear from others that were physically out or maybe inactive but had decided they were not worthy of being in paradise.

I never realized how much of a burden I was carrying until I was freed from that mind set.

Miss.Fit

23

3rd Gen DF'd finally writing

by AFreeBeliever in

i've been reading many of the postings on this forum for a couplefew years, finally joined today.

i think reading cappytan, and others like that, compelled me to share, it seems i might have a bit of a different outcome than many i have read, perhaps it will be hopeful/helpful to someone.. i was a born-in, 3rd gen jw, my entire family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and most all of my childhood friends) were in.

some dropped by the wayside as the years went on, but many stayed in, and if they didn't, they still acted/talked as if they believed it was "the truth" and it was their weaknesses/failings that made them stop attending.

MissFit

Welcome. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you. Thanks for sharing your story.

Miss. Fit

9

"Dead man walking", my resurrection

by MissFit in

as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

" i was my judge, jury and executioner.

MissFit

As a JW, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at Armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?

For almost half my life I felt like I was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking." I was my judge, jury and executioner. Last year I set on journey that freed me from my death sentence. I was resurrected from my walking death by finding out the truth about the truth.

As a near born in- raised JW, I knew the score.

Every meeting I attended, reminded me of my vast short comings.

I knew I was not worthy. I choose to marry a non-believer. I choose him over my god, I was not obedient. Worse I didn't wait for my wedding night. I was not worthy to be in paradise.

In my heart I just knew that I had turned my back on Jehovah.

I tried to make a life for myself, all the while waiting silently for annihilation.

After a couple of years, I confessed my sins to the Elders, and was deemed repentant and assigned a sister to study with.

Thus began many years of struggle to be worthy.

I could never get into a spiritual routine. I think I managed to stay active for 2 years. I never felt the joy or spiritual fulfillment I was expecting.

I tried because the fate of my children depended on me. Its one thing to condemn myself, but my children deserved paradise.

It turned out they didn't believe. How can I live while they are destroyed?

No. We will be condemned together.

I was resigned to my fate until I stumbled on this site. My eyes were opened and I was able to see that I had been blinded by lies and fear.

My future is now. I no longer live under a cloud of expectant execution.

28

A Mind at War

by cappytan in

right now, i feel like my mind is at war with itself.. on the one side is reason, logic.. on the other is tradition, hope and fear.. reason and logic are challenging life-long beliefs.

they are telling me, "is this any more believable than the story of the lord of the rings?".

certain doctrines of my belief system are crumbling.. my mind still wants to hold on to the belief in a creator, his son jesus and the bible.

MissFit

Cappytan, I really like the way you summed up the struggle of waking up.

You discribed the journey I am on and the battle I am fighting. Thank you.

Vent away here. Just know you are not alone. Many here can relate and have faced the same dilemma.

What is great about this site is we have the benefit of others experiences. They are able to help avoid pitfalls and encourage us when we slip into dispair.

Don't forget the adage:"misery loves company".Lol.

You will also find lots of encouragement and moral support.

I look forward to more of your posts.

Miss.Fit

8

Interview with an Apostate: Downtowner

by Downtowner in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.i grew up in the organization and baptized at age 10 years 11 months.

i lost my father to cancer and nearly lost my mom (thank goodness i didn't) to an illness both in 1999, i became inactive in 2000, and came out of the closet in 2001.. were you a born in or a convert?i was born in.

are your parents / family jws?

MissFit

Welcome, thank you for sharing your story.

You will find plenty of support here.

I am looking forward to more of your posts.

Miss.Fit