Sorry about the double post!
wanderlust
JoinedPosts by wanderlust
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50
My daughter's wedding dilemma
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy daughter will be getting married this coming august.
she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.
they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.
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50
My daughter's wedding dilemma
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy daughter will be getting married this coming august.
she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.
they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.
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wanderlust
To me there is a much bigger issue at stake, and it is the one that Oubliette has alluded to. We all know that JWs do not do compromise. It is either all or nothing. They refuse to be uncomfortable, even at the expense of the comfort of others. By giving in to their demands on this issue, it will teach them that they are right and that it okay for them to infringe upon the rights of others. They will come to expect this treatment in the future. I have seen this vile behavior again and again in my own family and it is nauseating.
Also, it is your daughter’s decision, but she is more likely to regret not inviting the cousin than inviting him and letting the others do what they want, even if it means walking out. Why? Because this is a special day and only logical that she would want to invite the people closest to her. Additionally, if the others walk out, it is their decision; it’s on them, not her. She has done her part by extending the invitation to all.
Additionally, neither she nor you should have to worry about having to run interference during the ceremony/reception to protect anyone. These are presumably all adults that know how to act like adults. If anyone feels uncomfortable at any time, they can leave.
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50
My daughter's wedding dilemma
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy daughter will be getting married this coming august.
she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.
they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.
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wanderlust
To me there is a much bigger issue at stake, and it is the one that Oubliette has alluded to. We all know that JWs do not do compromise. They refuse to be uncomfortable at the expense of the comfort of others. By giving in to their demands on this issue, it will teach them that they are right and that it okay for them to infringe upon the rights of others. They will come to expect this treatment in the future. I have seen this vile behavior again and again in my own family and it is nauseating.
Also, it is your daughter’s decision, but she is more likely to regret not inviting the cousin than inviting him and letting the others do what they want, even if it means walking out. Why? Because this is a special day and only logical that she would want to invite the people closest to her. Additionally, if the others walk out, it is their decision; it’s on them, not her. She has done her part by extending the invitation to all.
Additionally, neither she nor you should have to worry about having to run interference during the ceremony/reception to protect anyone. These are presumably all adults that know how to act like adults. If anyone feels uncomfortable at any time, they can leave.
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50
My daughter's wedding dilemma
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy daughter will be getting married this coming august.
she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.
they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.
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wanderlust
Wow Rules and Regs...that is....super crazy. The only thing that I can offer is that there is no easy solution here, but I do not think your daughter should have to bear the burden of your family's decision to be JWs and their choice to follow all of the JW unwritten rules.
The ones with "rank" along with their wives will have to make a decision whether or not to take the risk; the others that don't really have a rank to lose perhaps will stay and just avoid the cousin. I wish your daugter the best with the wedding planning. Wedding planning is enough hard work without having to worry about this stupid shit.
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Did other JWs judge you? What for?
by Julia Orwell insome judged me for going/having gone to university.
some judged me for being 'too smart.
' some judged my non jw brother for being in the army.
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wanderlust
I was counseled several times and judged for my decision to go to college. I felt judged for not succeeding in bringing my non-jw parents and siblings into the "truth" and now i'm grateful that they are not.
Additionally, two sisters cornered me after a meeting to tell me my skirt was too short (it was .5 inches above my knee! gtfohwtbs!). A young brother told me they were just jealous because they couldn't pull off that skirt and then i felt better. A holy roller "counseled" me about my cartilage piercing. Umm...that's about it. Not too bad - there are judgmental folks inside and outside of the cult so I have learned to grow a thicker skin.
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50
My daughter's wedding dilemma
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy daughter will be getting married this coming august.
she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.
they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.
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wanderlust
I know this question was posed to Designer Stubble, but IMHO it is no one else's business who your daughter decides to invite to the wedding. I don't see the big deal - can't they just, like, not talk to him? They don't have to sit next to him, right?
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50
My daughter's wedding dilemma
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy daughter will be getting married this coming august.
she and her future husband are not jehovah's witnesses.
they will have a non-religious wedding ceremony.
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wanderlust
I agree with Designer Stubble. She should invite him and let those idiots walk out if they want to. It's their loss. When I got married to my "unbelieving" ex years ago, most of my JW family members decided not to show up. I was expecting that but it was a wonderful day and we had a good time regardless.
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Look! It was very good or: Evil in the Animal Kingdom
by TheOldHippie ini have fed a number of birds regularly thru winter, and among the species were some doves.
this spring, two of them took a liking for each other and teamed up.
for a couple of weeks, extensive construction work was jointly done and resulted in a nice little nest, undoubtedly a cosy home for the small family which expected to multiply.
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wanderlust
TheOldHippie are you a writer? I have nothing useful to add, I just found your writing style very engaging. Thanks for sharing. :)
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Live Forever on a Paradise Earth
by HeyThere insometimes this sounds good...but....forever?
forever in a jw idea of perfection?
does this mean no sports, or detective tv shows, or bad neighborhoods?
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wanderlust
No thanks, I'll pass.
Actually, I never really found the idea of living forever in a "paradise" very appealing. For one, most of the people that I cared about wouldn't probably be there since they weren't JWs, and for another, it seemed that it would be a rather bland existence after a while. I'll take my 60-70 (hopefully) or so years here rather than have eternity as an automaton.
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wanderlust
Only [some] of the ones that are family members. When I left, I pretty much did a preemptive reverse shun. I sometimes lament having wasted so much time on superficial, conditional friendships, but it is what it is.