No good news to report

by gringojj 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • gringojj
    gringojj

    Well friends things had bad going very well for my wife recently. She had been looking a the wts critically for quite some time now. We would have daily discussions on how so many things didnt make sense. She hasnt gone to a meeting in 5 months or so. But the jws came knocking on our door the other day. She said she had been praying for a few weeks now to jehovah saying that if it was the true religion to send some jws to our door. I told her thats what jws do, they knock on peoples doors. So she thinks its some sign. I came home from work yesterday and she had thrown a teletubbie outside in a trashbag along with all the halloween decorations we had in our place. Then she told me all those things bring demons into the house. I could have cried. She had the reasoning book and nwt and insight and what does the bible really teach books all over the coffee table. And supposedly her crazy jw mom is coming to sleep over saturday night so she can go with my wife to the sunday morning meeting. We just moved to a new town so her mom wants to go with her.

    I am very sad. I know when she goes to the meeting she will feel back in her comfort zone since she was raised with jws and really hasnt made any friends outside of them since she has stopped going to the meetings. I am sure she will get love bombed and see some people she knows from the past and talk about how great the truth is and feel back at home. Then in a few months she will be complaining about how stupid they are and stuff. I am so tired of this rollercoaster. I feel like just taking her mom on with a strong debate and she will get mad an leave my place. But I know that wont help. I just cant sit back and watch her go back to that again.

    Any suggestions or words of encouragement would help.

    Thanks friends.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Well You never know. She just might get to the meeting and be ignored. Or see the falseness of it all.

    After five months away she just might see things a little differently.

    Don't ever give up hope

  • gringojj
    gringojj

    I doubt she will be ignored because she will be new at that hall they wont know her history

  • OldSoul
    OldSoul

    gringojj,

    Why not ask her mother some pointed questions in front of your wife about whether it is okay to teach things that are not based on the Bible. Ask whether pyramidology is a proper basis for confidence in the Bible's prophecies.

    You might ask your wife why Witnesses didn't come the same moment she was praying, or at least the same day. And ask her why when they did come were they unable to speak truth using only the Bible. Ask your wife whether she really believes they would have avoided your door if she had prayed, "Please don't send any Jehovah's Witnesses to our door if they have the truth."

    Our loved ones are being stripped from us by an organization that sucks up all their time. You have my heart with you.

    Respectfully,
    OldSoul

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    You never know. Some congregations are very suspicious of people who walk into the hall when no one knows them.

    Another thought too about her going to the hall. If she has been questioning then it is possible that some of those questions might get triggered and she might start seeing things in a different light. Be careful though. She might not want her mother to know she has had some doubts.

    And that might be the reason she threw out certain things. She needs to make a good impression on her mother. She might not be ready to let her mother know about her doubts. Her reaction might be more fear based than a turn of mind

  • OldSoul
    OldSoul
    I doubt she will be ignored because she will be new at that hall they wont know her history

    You might consider going with her, and enjoying the commenting section of the Watchtower Study. Sit near the front...

    Respectfully,
    OldSoul

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    I feel for you. I always heard those "experiences" of people out in service that called on people that had just been praying for a sign or the pioneer that prays for something and finds it the road out in service. I took a psychology class a few years ago and we talked about the likelyhood of random things happening(like someone calling you that you were just thinking about), it's really not as rare as one would think. I would recommend looking into that.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee
    You might consider going with her, and enjoying the commenting section of the Watchtower Study. Sit near the front

    Now THAT would be interesting

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    gringojj
    I'm so sorry to hear about this latest turn of events. I used to be like your wife, always looking for "signs" from jehovah about what to do next in my life. It is indeed a rollercoaster, just as much for her as it is for you. The constant wondering of "is this a sign from jehovah or a temptation from satan?" It made me very ill (emotionally and otherwise) for a long time.
    It's funny to me how many jw women are so tied in to their mothers and how those moms exert such a powerful influence on them. Could it be that "mother" (the wts) creates and/or attracts these literal moms? I'm just now coming out from under the influence of the wts (I disassociated about 6 weeks ago). And I see that the issues I have with my literal mother run far deeper than anything that the wts did to me. Those are the scars I'm working to heal most of all.
    I don't know what advice to give you my friend. I can relate to your wife. Sounds like she may not be ready to stand up for herself and what she feels. The one thing that helped me tremendously was finding a good therapist to work with. This helped me get my feet underneath me so I could support myself to re-evaluate and make changes to the unhealthy relationships in my life. I don't know if she's ready for that yet.
    There may not be much that you can do directly to get her to give up the wts. In the end, it must be her decision when she's ready or it won't stick. I think that the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself through this. Perhaps seeing a therapist yourself might be useful. If that's not for you, seek out a trusted friend to discuss this with. And please keep us updated here. We're listening.
    tall penguin

  • Joel Wideman
    Joel Wideman

    Teletubbies... demonism...
    I just don't see the connection.

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