Does it bother you to realize that life is normal for those left behind?

by free2beme 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    I don't know if a JW's sheltered life is "normal". It may be "business as usual" but it is not "normal". Have you noticed that at the Kingdom Hall every incident is magnified twenty times over, like looking through life through a fishbowl?

    I've seen what happens in churches when the nostalgic try and bring back the "good old days". You can't. They're gone. Cherish the memory.

    I've seen what happens to people who try to be irreplaceable. They surround themselves with dependent sycopants. Not for me. I like to grow up strong people around me so I am free to move on. Life is like grass, it withers away quickly. So snuggle down in it's warm sweet growth and inhale deeply.

    Can you tell that snow is forecast?

  • kazar
    kazar

    No--I don't think they knew I was there.

  • atypical
    atypical

    It bothers me. Especially when I ask a witness how so-and-so is doing, maybe a person that moved away and I haven't seen in awhile, and I get the answer "Oh, they aren't doing anything in the truth". As though that answers everything; nothing is going well for that person who is not active as a witness. That makes me hurt for all the people who have been discarded so casually. I try to reply with something like, "That's not what I asked. How are they doing?"

  • GMahler
    GMahler

    It's funny that you ask this question. A few months ago my mother told me that someone that I dated when still in the "truth" got engaged. We actually broke up about a year or so before I stopped attending meetings (it was my decision), but I couldn't help but think of how life moves on. I thought a lot about my decision to leave and my new life outside of the organization. I thought of how there are others who are still in and how life still goes on and the cermonies of life continue for them as if I had not impact or influence in their life. It wasn't that I expected her, or anyone else for that matter, to put thier life on hold simply because I left. In fact, I was prepared to have very little response or interests from others after my departure. When I was active, I think that some of the elders had big plans for my future. There were some who saw me as a potention CO or even going futher. I think that some of these elders were disappointed with my decision. There are still some who ask about me from time to time, so my mother tells me. In my congregation, however, it seemed that most members of my congregation had very little intrest in me when I was active, so I'm sure that after I left it was not difficult for them to "move on".

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    Do you know, I never even thought about whether I was missed or not, just moved on...

  • gladdy
    gladdy

    thought I would add my 2 cents worth here,,,,,,,, never been a jw ....... never wanna be........ BUT when my best bud was taken into this cult.... it left a void in our families. We were all very aware she was now different from the rest of us. and knew she had major pressure on her to "follow the leader." Life was certainly not normal to us when she became a jw and could not join in family activities and forced to raise her children in this cult. BUT we hung on to part of her and lo and behold she got away from the cult.! SO we all felt a void when she "left" our normal life -- but I am sure she was just another number to the jws and they are going about the business of bullying and guilting without her, but I do understand the numbers are shrinking in that hall. Praise the LORD!

  • JW83
    JW83

    It bothers me because I grew up in the same area & was a Witness here from ages 8-24. I really put my whole soul into the troof & the community and it makes me angry that people don't even care. I'm realising as I grow older that sometimes friends are just 'for a season', but it does lead to trust issues ... HOW CAN THEY GO ON WITHOUT ME?!

  • ithinkisee
    ithinkisee

    Life goes on in the JWs because they are far too busy maintaining their schedule to be concerned with someone not pulling their weight. I'm totally cool with their fake plastic love being turned off when we leave - and our entire social structure has been purely-JW for 20+ years.

    However, I know our actions will sow some uncomfortable seeds in at least a couple thinking people. I cherish this thought.

    I try to focus on the one or two thinking people, rather than the rest of the lemmings.

    -ithinkisee

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