Elder not calling us "brother or sister" at the book study

by JH 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  JH

  A few months ago, I went to a couple of book studies, and I hadn't set foot there in years, but what stuck me was when the elder called people by their first names when he asked questions at the book study.

  Instead of saying brother Rat, he just called me rat

  Instead of saying brother Smith, he just said Gary, and so on....

  Either the elder was making it more friendly by using our first names in stead of saying Brother or Sister so and so, or it was a change in the way they operate.

  Has anybody else noticed this or is just in my book study that the elder calls us by our first name, baptized or not.

  I have the impression, the elder just wanted us to feel closer by calling us by our first name.
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  daystar

  In my congregation it depended entirely on the book study conductor. Some book studies were closer than others. As we became closer over time, things tended to get a little more loose. I guess that might be one reason why they changed them around so often. Don't want us too comfortable around each other, now do we?
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  schne_belly

  No, in my old hall we were called Brother and Sister. I always felt bad though when a new person attended who was known not to be a baptized JW, then they were called Mr. or Mrs, like they weren't "special like the rest of us". I could never understand it either, if a person who was "making advancements" for baptisim, they were referred to as Brother and Sister even before they took the plunge. But if you weren't making advancements you were just "Pete" or " Julie".

  I look back and HATE how at my Kingdom Hall wedding after the ceremony the elder said " I would like to present to you "Brother and Sister XXXX" We had a few "worldy" people at the wedding, I'm sure they were lost......
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  littlerockguy

  When I went to the book study at one particular elder's house his wife insisted on being addressed as sister (her last name); not only there but even if approached in public.
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  tall penguin

  Our BO used to call us by our first names, until the PO said it was not appropriate. What a killjoy!
  tp
• 

  daystar

  Yes, one has not earned the right to be a brother or sister in Christ until baptism as a JW.
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  JH

  could never understand it either, if a person who was "making advancements" for baptisim, they were referred to as Brother and Sister even before they took the plunge.

  Thats funny, not even baptized yet and called brother or sister

  Does this mean that if a JW couple is dating that they can have sex before the wedding
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  Jourles

  We used to have a very cool bk study group in CO. The southern county group met at C&S K.'s home in Breckenridge (R.I.P. Chuck). They were very well off seeing that her grandfather invented the bullet press machine. They made everyone feel like it was their home too. Everyone would bring and wear their fuzzy slippers from home. Our bk study conductor was also the secretary and he was a joker most of the time anyways. Good times. He always called everyone by their first name too. If he stumbled in thought and forgot your name, he would say "Brother [last name]" grinning because he had a brain fart.
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  Lady Lee

  Interestingly one of the mind controls techniques used by abusers or abusive systems is to remove or limit personal identiy. Not using the first name of a person when you are talking to them reduces them as a full person. It removes the most basic aspect of a person's identity.
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  blondie

  Actually, a CO once counseled the congregation about not using "brother" and "sister" when addressing each other.

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  km 4/96 p. 7 Question Box ***

  Because of our close spiritual ties within God’s household, we address one another as "Brother" and "Sister," particularly at congregation meetings. During these spiritual occasions, the one presiding over the meeting recognizes baptized individuals by using the expression "brother" or "sister" followed by the last name of the person being addressed.

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  km 4/96 p. 7 Question Box ***

  On the other hand, interested persons who have only recently begun to attend our meetings have not yet taken the steps that would identify them as part of God’s household. These individuals would not be addressed as "Brother" or "Sister," since the spiritual relationship of God’s family does not exist in their case. So during the meetings, we would address them more formally, using an appropriate title such as "Mr." with their last name.

  Using the expressions "brother" and "sister" at our congregation meetings indicates a bond that is far closer and more precious than any indicated by the use of first names. It reminds us of the very blessed relationship we enjoy as a spiritual family under the one Father, Jehovah God. We are also reminded of the deep love and affection we have for one another.—Eph. 2:19; 1 Pet. 3:8.