I can't believe they shunned me...

by Smoky 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  Smoky

  Have any of you ever feel abandoned by "friends" because you don’t associate (congregate) with them anymore? There is a couple of 'friends' that I haven't talked to for about a year, (because I don’t go to the meetings). I don’t have anything against them or the Congregation. They have made no attempts to communicate with me, via phone or e-mail, (though I email them jokes and stuff all the time) to see how I am doing.

  Bottom line: They are getting married and I was not invited to their wedding.

  I am saddened by this cause they told me they would, I am very fond of them and I thought they would look past all this shunning stuff. I am a in-active JW but not Df'd or officially Disassociated, I don’t do bad very bad thing (avid smoker, do drugs, or a drunk), though I use to drink allot, but I’ve stopped more than a year ago (cause I just haven't felt like it) for them to say I am a like a worldly person.

  My family is still active JWs. I can’t be any more worse than her worldly Family members that I am sure are invited.

  Do they stress this kind of shunning, just cause you don’t go to the meeting no more? I don’t hate them or "show" that I disapprove of the WTS. I just need some space to sort my life out. (Coming off a divorce)

  I think I sound like some kind of wuss, but darn it....it bugs the hell out of me.

  Anyone ever been through something like this?

  (occasionally) Smoky
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  daystar

  Well Smoky, I'm sorry you're going through this. But it's not surprising. You're learning what sort of "friends" JWs make.
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  Smoky

  I never thought they would shunn me like that, they even had they ordasity to invite a brother that i introduced them no more than a year ago. they have been my friend for 7 years before i stopped going to the meetings.

  I see how this kind of stuff kind take a toll on the emotions.

  thanks, daystar
• 

  Legolas

  I'm sorry to Smokey Just goes to show you the love they have...I hope they just forgot about you and they then remember and ask you!
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  Goldminer

  Yeah,it's too bad they don't tell us right from the get-go that any friendships we make will be conditional. The attitude is the same here and it won't make me go back,you're my friend or you're not,it's as simple as that.If someone's friendship with me is based on me being a slave of the wtbts then it's not much of a friendship anyways.

  Goldminer
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  daystar

  I'm sorry to say this, but if you think you may not be regular at meetings and in service again, you may as well start making new friends now. Since I left fifteen years ago I've met some of the most amazing people who are now closer to me than ever a Witness was... real friends.
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  jaffacake

  Hello and welcome. You are no wuss, the actions of your friends are very hurtful. Yet it is really not so much their fault, but that of the organisation they are part of. I admire your strength for no longer participating in such a collection of hurtful and unChristian doctrines.

  My very close friend, we were like brothers from 12 year old until less than a year ago, was baptised a JW this summer. I am not an apostate as I was nevwe a JW but I am a Christian. I researched JW indoctrination process and predicted I would soon be shunned, My dear friend was horrified by my prediction (February of this year) he promised he would be my close friend always.

  I am now shunned unless I pester him. What a beautiful Christ-like religion - NOT.
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  ashitaka

  You know, it's been three years since the last 'friend' stopped communicating with me. You know what? I found new friends. Eventually. It doesn't happen overnight, but perhaps going to a shrink to talk about it will help you get beyond it, and can start over new with relationships. JWs won't change, only you can. And if it includes a little courage and self-discovery, you can make friends, ones that are more loyal than anyone still practicing shunning.
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  lonelysheep

  I am shunned as well and it hurts.
  
  I've been shunned twice at two different grocery stores by the same person. She works 500 yards from me and ignores me. We were "friends" for 2 years, and she conducted my study.

  Another woman who I studied w/4 years ago shuns me as well. I was close to her and her husband....they referred to me as their little sister. I miss her the most.

  [Mocha, if you ever read this, know that I still love you]

  Jaffa:

  I purposely neglected my best friend of many years as well since I was trying to be good and not associate w/worldly people. Thankfully, she never let me leave her alone too long...and we are still friends!!!!!!!
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  FlyingHighNow

  Smoky, I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Most of us here are shunned as you are. We know how it feels and our hearts break for you. It's very sad that the governing body encourages such paranoia, for them to be afraid of you because you simply don't attend meetings. They are afraid that you will rub off on them, your friends and they think their shunning will "wake you up."

  Please don't "wake up." Really, you'll be going back to sleep. Stick around here and make some real friends. Make some friends in person, who are not witnesses. You don't need fair weather, conditional friends.