JW funerals getting more personable??

Alana

I went to a JW funeral Wednesday. It was for the dad of two good JW friends (at least back in the days) of mine. He was one of the nicest men I’ve ever known. It was in the congregation where I grew up and where my dad was

My mom asked for us to pick her up, so I thought that would be nice to have someone to walk in with. It was at a funeral home and not the KH. It was nice to see so many I hadn’t seen in a long time. I have to admit that this congregation truly has love and they all treated me lovely and the son of the deceased, who was a good friend of mine growing up, even told my husband that we ought to all get together sometime…..to pick on me (that’s the thing, we always pick on each other).

Anyway, back to the funeral…..when my dad passed away I was shocked that the funeral talk was very personable and that the Brother actually talked about my dad and his life and it wasn’t just a reading of his obituary and then an infomercial for JW’s. I really like that, especially for my husband’s sake and our non-JW family. Well, with this funeral, the first half the talk was similar…..the Brother talked about XXXXX’s childhood, his young days when he was a fire-jumper in , and then about some of the many practical jokes he’d pulled over the years. It had everyone in stitches and smiling because we all knew how funny he was.

Of course, then the JW infomercial came, but it wasn’t as bad as I remember all those I remember hearing growing up. Is this something new with JW’s now……to have more personable funeral talks? Or, is this just a personal choice by local JWs here? I remember when I was growing up how they basically just read the obituary and then went into the JW spiel and didn't focus much at all on the deceased and his life.

blondie

The brother giving the talk went beyond the outline from the WTS and it was his decision to add not a change in WTS policy. I wonder if someone will be talking to him?

I'm glad he was brave enough to buck the WTS system.

Love, Blondie

defd

Alana

I can relate to your story. As an active witness i NEVER did like how we conducted funerals. It was almost like a shameless plug, As you say, NOT PERSONAL. It would be nice if we continued to conduct funerals like the one you attended.

willyloman

Several years ago we attended a "memorial service" for a popular CO who died. He had been an elder in the region for many years prior to going on the road; when he reached a certain age, the WTS sent him to serve the congos in the region where he had once been an elder, largely because his grown children were active in some of those congos (somebody had a heart).

The talk was delivered by a prominent, personable elder in the circuit, one of those guys with a reputation for great talks delivered in a compassionate, personable tone. The talk was all about the deceased and his life among the dubs and his considerable contributions to dub life and process. The speaker ran the emotional gamut from humorous to serious and told all sorts of personal stories about the man's life. He skipped the sales pitch because the vast majority of the attendees were long time dubs, many of whom were pioneers or elders -- there were even a couple of CO's in the audience. There were lots of compliments on his talk afterwards.

So I think exceptions are made sometimes, but I doubt that there's a new outline for funeral talks telling the speakers to lighten up.

sandy

When my uncle died a couple years back the Elder gave a nice "Talk" for him. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that this Elder didn't really know my uncle.

My uncle was an un-baptized publisher for maybe a year or two before he died. Nobody from that hall minus my family really knew him.

Can any witness, male of course who is in "good standing" give the memorial service?

My brother is a ministerial servant and I wondered why he didn't give the Eulogy.

garybuss

(The Watchtower, Oct. 15, 1952, p.639)
Questions from Readers
But dedicated Christians arrange for a witness to the truth at the funeral. This is taking advantage of an opportunity.
These funeral occasions afforded great opportunities for a witness concerning the Kingdom and Messiah, and that is what funeral occasions are being used for by many of Jehovah's witnesses in these days, and extensive witnesses are being given both by the funeral discourse and by other brothers in attendance at such funerals.

(The Watchtower, June 15, 1950, p.192)
But consecrated Christians arrange for a witness to the truth at the funeral. This is taking advantage of an opportunity.

(Yearbook 1970, p.139)
Country Reports (Part One)
Though most people would never think of attending a meeting of the Witnesses, no fewer than 185 attended the funeral, the highest attendance ever for a talk by Jehovah's witnesses.

(The Watchtower, Oct 15, 1990, p.31)
Questions From Readers
Unbelieving relatives, neighbors, or business associates attending the funeral of a Christian have been favorably impressed by the large number of Witnesses present and thus have been more receptive to the Biblical truths presented.

(The Watchtower June 1 1977, p.346)
Mourning and Funerals-For Whom?
There is also the matter of giving a witness to Bible truths. Usually a funeral is attended by neighbors, acquaintances, business associates and relatives, who may not be believers.

(Awake! July 22, 1992, p.9)
The Sting of Death Removed
That is why the funeral services of Jehovah's Witnesses stand out as different from others. … They mourn, but not excessively.
***
Awake! Feb 8, 1999 p. 11 Should the Dead Be Honored?
Is It Wrong to Eulogize?
The principle of being balanced applies also to the matter of eulogizing the dead. At funeral services, Jehovah's Witnesses strive to comfort the bereaved. (2-Corinthians 1:3-5) A formal program may include one or more speakers. But it would be inappropriate to convert the occasion into a long parade of eulogizers extolling the deceased.
***

The Watchtower July 15, 1975 p. 448 Questions from Readers
Where death appears to have been accidental, even though it was reported as a suicide or may have involved mental illness, the consciences of some members of the congregation may permit them to attend the funeral to comfort the bereaved ones. Also, it is left up to the personal decision of an elder whether he will conduct such a funeral upon request. However, the congregation may prefer not to sponsor such a funeral publicly or to have it in the Kingdom Hall because of the effect it may have on the uninformed community.
On the other hand, where it is a clearly established suicide, members of the congregation and elders may desire not to become involved in the funeral.

***

Yearbook of Jehovah's Witnesses 1974 p. 114 Germany (Part One)
Since many brothers from neighboring congregations would be present for the funeral, Brother Niedersberg was asked to deliver the funeral discourse. He took advantage of this opportunity to give a forceful talk . . .

***
The Watchtower March 15, 1980 p. 6 Do You Honor the Dead? ***
WHAT ABOUT FUNERALS?
A Christian funeral provides for disposal of the body in a way that meets legal sanitary requirements and is socially acceptable. It furnishes an opportunity to give comfort to the bereaved and a message of hope to all in attendance.

***

Awake! Feb. 8 1999 p. 11 Should the Dead Be Honored?
the funeral affords an opportunity to extol God's marvelous qualities, including his kindness in providing us with the hope of the resurrection.

***

Awake! August 8, 1979 p. 7 The Biblical Basis for a Paradise Hope
. In reality, we are obligated to make known to as many persons as we possibly can this comforting hope of a future earthly paradise. A funeral offered me a good opportunity to do this.

***

Yearbook Of Jehovah's Witnesses 1989 p. 96 Austria
A funeral was scheduled in that village, and Brother Ronovsky of Vienna was to give the talk. At that time funerals afforded the only opportunity to give a witness to a large group.

***

thom

When my grandmother died about 10 years ago, I remember the talk being mostly about her life, childhood, marriage and family. I actually learned quite a bit about her life from that talk. The "preaching" part was actually pretty short near the end of the talk. I thought it was done pretty well.

undercover

I noticed that different classes of JWs received different funerals. Not that it's written anywhere to do that or that it's a formal rule, but somehow rules and protocol were not strictly adhered to when it came to the more popular or respected JWs who died.

I always felt bad for families whose marginal JW relative had died and their death was barely acknowledged. But if a popular pioneer or elder died, half the state turned up to mourn and attend the funeral. In a disturbing way, some of the JWs would look to the crowd of a funeral and relate it to how faithful a servant to Jehovah the deceased must have been and that's why they had such large turnouts.

anewme

I was pretty involved in the writing process for the funeral talks my husband gave. He was/is a quadriplegic elder so he needed help in typing. Anyway, if we knew the deceased we usually tried very hard to make it personal. One very well known sister died. She was known for her love of life, her joie d'vive or something as the French say. I practiced with my husband on the pronunciation of the french term for hours, days. He had so much trouble saying the phrase. Finally he got it right by the time of the funeral.
But when he got up there (the place was packed!) and came to the part about how full of life Betty was he came to the words Joie d'vive he could not spit it out!!! He tried 3 times, no 4 times, then said something like "oh fooey, you know what I mean, you all remember how Betty was!!!!"

The audience roared with laughter! We all remembered how Betty was! At 75 she was still flirting with the single brothers and talked of finding another marriage mate! The talk continued in a light hearted fashion and ended with the hope of resurrection. It was a memorable memorial!

defd

I love the elderly. Great story anewme!

JW funerals getting more personable??

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