HELP!!!!!

by findingmyway 28 Replies latest jw experiences

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  delilah

  FMW.....my boys were 5 and 3 when we stopped going to the Hall. My eldest son would ask to go to the hall, only because his older cousin would ask him to go with them. I talked to my son about going, if he liked it and all, he said "yes", but he liked the candy after each meeting. I felt guilty too, because I didn't want to stifle his love for God, if it truly was there. ( He was 5) I was not interested in attending other churches so I really felt guilty, for some time. Eventually, as he became more busy with his friends at school, and parties, he never asked to go to the meetings any more. Keep your child busy with fun things....and tell him that he can make his own decisions as far as going to the hall with his grandparents. Unfortunately, grandparents have a way of making our kids, and us , feel intimidated, when it comes to meeting attendance, so we have to stand our ground.

  Best wishes.......

  Delilah
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  jgnat

  My daughter intimidates me! She only had to say it once, but I didn't forget. She told me that if I did not respect her wishes regarding my Granddaughter she would have to restrict our visits. Horrors! Say no more.
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  wanderlustguy

  He wants to have a relationship with God and if I take away from him the "paradise hope" what do I replace it with.

  
  

  
  Are you really taking it away, especially if it doesn't exist? How do you think you will feel as you watch him grow up in "The Truth", take to it fully, follow the pattern of so many before him, and shun you after you learn better later on and cannot lie to yourself any longer, watch him sacrifice his future for a publishing company, or better yet, waste about 10 years on it and then wonder why you never told him the truth about what you thought way back when he had a lot more options?

  You are God to him, and you have to trust yourself. The org takes that from you, the trust in your own perception of reality. Things ARE as you see them, you are learning the REAL truth, to withhold that from your son betrays the obligation you have to instruct him in the truths of life. Take your life back and let him have his in the process, and take a lot of pictures.

  Everyone else is spot on as well, show him how to LIVE, yes you are learning it together, but what better way to for something even more special than normal between you. Imagine the stories he will have about his mother who faced down a cult including her own parents and in doing so gave him a freedom so many never get to see.

  Best wishes,

  WLG

  Another thing is that I have to keep my going to church a secret from him because he thinks that everyone who goes to church is serving the devil and hate Jehovah.

  Hey...by the way...hes YOUR SON!
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  mrsjones5

  Instead of focusing what you might be taking away, why not ADD things to his life? Have some independent bible studies together. Maybe start with the book of John. The following book might be a little young, but I sure enjoyed it! You can explore together.

  

  Every day Wemmicks do the same thing: either stick gold stars or gray dots on one another. The pretty and talented ones always get stars. Others, though, who can do little or who have chipped paint, get ugly dots. Kids will love seeing how Eli the woodcarver helps Punchinello understand how special he is--dots and all. Parents will appreciate the message this story sends to kids: that regardless of what the world thinks, they are precious in God's sight.

  omg jgnat, my pastor did a sermon using that same book! I highly recommend it too!

  Josie
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  rawconscience

  I think this is an Echo: Handle Yo' Business! Your Child is YOUR business!!!
  aside from that, stop focusing on what is wrong and start focusing on what is right. both you and he are at a point where you can have alot of fun exploring new ways of believing and feeling. it's exciting!!! look at all the new things you will learn. i have a feeling you will come through this experience brighter, happier, and more confident than you have been in your life.
  face your fears and be honest about your needs. if you need to feel safe and that your belong, take the appropriate messures to do so. drink plenty of water, breathe, and conserve your energy for yourself and your son. you will know the truth of whatever you seek by the way you feel and then some. rule number 1 is to have fun. if you make a "mistake" laugh at yourself and keep going. the only way to learn that your highest authority rests with yourself is through experience, and one of the best ways to experience that is to begin to REBEL!!!. Your ability to REBEL and Your Control are directly linked. trust your gut and grow some balls.
• 

  vitty

  You need to deprogramme your child NOW.

  My mother left the truth when I was 9, and it ruined my childhood I was terrified of armageddon.

  Then when I was 24 I went back in, for 20 years, and now my adult daughter is still in !!!

  Please, please tell him he wont be destroyed at armageddon.

  My sisters one is 54 and the other is 42 never became witness but lived with the terror, that one day real sooooon the world would go bang! Anyway when I learned last year that it was not the truth, I told my sisters boy were they relieved. I knew nothing about how they had felt for all these years.

  So dont just think cos youve stopped going thats enough it isnt, he needs peace of mind now. In his mind YOU are going to die cos you dont go to the KH anymore

  Talk to him today and put a stop to him attending meetings please............
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  Check_Your_Premises

  Well first off you might want to explain to him that the Bible doesn't say anywhere that we have to go to five meetings a week to attain salvation. I used the basic study I outlined in this thread. I updated it from the comments provided. It went very well.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/97144/1.ashx

  As far as what you believe? Yikes. That will take time. Terry wrote a really nice thread awhile back on cuckoo eggs being laid in our head. The idea is that like a cuckoo bird, which leaves it's own eggs in other bird's nest, sometimes people put ideas into our heads. Since they are not our own, they are not complete, completely understood, or even erroneous. We have to make our own reality. I don't have the link, but go to Terry's profile and look under topics.

  I do hope you don't let some folks claiming to speak for God, give Him a bad name. Whatever you decide to believe, you should get pretty close to the mark if you keep these two axioms in mind:

  1. Be ready to seek the truth from any legitmate source.

  2. Make finding truth your priority, even if you don't like it much when you discover it.

  As far as telling the kids? Ithinkisee wrote a nice thread on that recently as well. THere were plenty of good comments from folks there. The consensus seems to be that kids are pretty accepting of the change. I don't think anyone likes beng a dub.

  CYP
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  jeeprube

  You need to expose him to other faiths now, so that when he's old enough to decide about religion, he can make an informed decision. An 8 year old doesn't have the ability to decide which faith he'll follow. That's what the JW's want though. Get them young and program them. His entire world is becoming JW colored. Your parents are instilling all the JW fears and phobias in him.

  I think you should pull him now and deprogram him. If you want to expose him to God and faith, then do so. But, the KH is only exposing him to the cult mentality.

  Good luck!
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  Nathan Natas

  I agree that you have to de-program your son, and the sooner the better. This doesn't have to be anything overtly melodramatic. You could tell him about the history of apocalyptic religions - the story of William Miller and his "great disappointment" and how C.T. Russell came from that environment.

  He's got to learn that people can be wrong, even if they are nice and say they are God's chosen people. Teach him about what cults are and how to recognize them.

  One thing that I would strongly urge is that you have to STOP telling him that he's not a JW until he gets baptized, because right now that will only make him want to get baptized ASAP.

  It would be a good thing if your job suddenly caused you to have to move across the country, away from your parents and the people your boy knows at the kingdom hall. Then he'll have an opportunity to regroup.
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  OldSoul

  A key with someone so young is teaching a proper perspective of pride. The WTS strips dignity from its subjects. Giving him a sense of his own personal power and abilities will make him much more comfortable questioning their teachings.

  Plus, don't play down how much an 8-year-old can grasp. Point out things like, "You know, when you go from door to door you are asking the householder to doubt their beliefs and hopes. If you study with someone, you are trying to get them to believe the same way you believe. Have you really challenged your beliefs?" (allow for response) "Don't you think it is only fair to do that for yourself, before you try to get someone else to do that?"

  When I was 8, I asked, "How do we know the Bible is really from God?" I was handed a book. Neat, eh? I never forgot that experience and my disappointment lingers to this day. Reason with him. Encourage him to question and discover. Read and discuss Galatians with him. Help him understand what "grace" means. Release him from the debt of slavery the JWs are trying to sell him into.

  Respectfully,
  OldSoul