I suffer alone everyday.
I wish I could reach out, but it is too hard for me. I was raised to have no feelings. Perfect and Happy is all I know. I hate it. I am sad and I can't be sad. I don't know how.
Brooke
SUFFERING IN SILENCE
by MerryMagdalene 35 Replies latest jw friends
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Sassy
I was thinking about that.. the heading "suffering in silence"..
sometimes when people are needing a hug the most, they haven't the strength to ask for one
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Narkissos
One great thing among JWs (but here they are not... alone) is that they can make you feel bad for feeling bad (you're not "spiritual"), feel bad for sharing bad feelings (you're not "upbuilding") and feel bad for not sharing ("isolating yourself"). The only correct attitude is the token JW smile.
Sharing with the wrong people (however nice) sometimes leads to being hurt twice. To me sharing is the exception. A wonderful but rare exception.
Jesus says: "Blessed are the solitary and the elect, for you will find the Kingdom! Because you have issued from it, you will return to it again." (Gospel of Thomas, 49)
In the short story, "The Artist at Work" (1955/1986), Albert Camus tells an allegorical tale about Jonas, an enormously successful young painter who generates a near cult following among art critics, art students, and the public at large. Alas, poor Jonas is cursed by his success. The public attention to his work leaves him with little time for painting, his home-studio overfills with family and visitors, and Jonas loses the benefits of solitude-time and space-necessary to his artistic success. Caught up in the turmoil of his life and unable to respond to the many conflicting demands made of him, he eventually becomes both less prolific and less accomplished an artist. As surely as they once loved him, the critics turn to condemn him. Eventually, he is left with only the affections of his family and his one true friend, Rateau. Desperate, Jonas builds a loft under the ceiling of his living room and becomes once again absorbed, now working day and night without adequate food or rest until, finally, he collapses from exhaustion. When Rateau ascends the loft to assess the final works that have brought about his friend's collapse, he finds only a single, blank canvas upon which Jonas has scrawled a lone word in very small print, so illegible that it cannot be said with any certainty whether he has written solitary or solidary.
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delilah
SASSY.....AMEN.....
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delilah
Sending a HUGE group hug to all here who need one....
Delilah
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wanderlustguy
Because it's hard to see to type through tears.
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talesin
Merry, thanks for that post. It has always been my way, and I'm learning to open up a bit and share the hard times.
xo
tal
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Elsewhere
How many of you tend to suffer through your heartaches, worries, illnesses, or anything else that gets you down----ALONE
When I'm down I tend to isolate myself and never tell anyone.
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talesin
Else,
I have learned from my friends, over the years, that they really want to share the bad times, too ... make the effort to open up, it's worth it!
xo
tal
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wanderlustguy
I think about all the people that have suffered and continue to suffer more than me. Most of the time when I am down and I go to say something I catch myself and take account again of why I should not be. I always feel like there is someone else who hasn't smiled all day that needs to, or somewhere someone who is crying and needs someone to say just one thing to turn their whole day around. I guess I feel like I should be able to control the sadness better and be the person that people know they can come to when they are down. How can I be that if I can;t do it for myself? It makes me feel like a weak person and I hate it.
WLG