Singing out. . .

by John Doe 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Were there any folks in your congregation that had really big voices, no pitch, and a tone-deaf ear? We had a whole family of them. I recall one night the wife was particularly off key--even going on past when the music stopped, getting off on the wrong line, etc. The guy running the PA slowly began turning the music up, and she would slowly elevate her ear-muff inducing screech squawking. Louder music, louder smug whole. It finally got almost ear-splitting, and you could tell the woman was getting ticked. Everyone was beginning to crack up. That was one of the most entertaining meetings I ever attended. lol

  • Legolas
    Legolas

    Yes..LMAO..

    Me and my family looked so we didn't sit by him,he's in, I would say his late 60's or early 70's, because we would

    Laugh our a$$'s off because of how he sang!

  • ChrisVance
    ChrisVance

    I wish you guys wouldn't pick on me. I love to sing but have limited ability. I always figured when in church I could sing as loud as I wanted. It was particularly interesting when the dubs changed song books, many years ago, and I'd sing the old words instead of the new ones. Since I sang loudly everyone would realize it and turn around and look at me. But heck, I was in church, showing my devotion to the fds.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Vance, there's a difference between someone singing loud and knowing they can't sing, and someone thinking they sound like a moviestar singing like Porky Pig. The latter is a funny scene indeed. :-) I never minded loud singing, until the person got so loud you could no longer here the PA system. :-)

  • ChrisVance
    ChrisVance

    Yes, there is a difference. Sure wish I could sing though. In about 1999 I took voice lessons for a year. They tell me I improved, but the teacher said I needed to relax my throat and I couldn't get the hang of that.

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Yes, you're right Vance.

    Here’s to all of Roseanne Barr's relatives who've ever dared to dream the impossible, though their glory be n'er recognized, they courageously yodeled their way indelibly into our shattered realms of solitude and vocal harmony. Our efforts to avoid rhythmically lulling the inner peace within our hearts to the voracious ineptitude of reality and appeasing our souls would never have been accomplished but for the loquacious rhapsodies which flow from their lugubrious lips whenever they hear the drums thudding in their ears. May their recalcitrant vocals forever spring rancor from with the souls of music lovers everywhere, for without them we may never able to appreciate the beauties of excellent music everywhere. Rareness breeds value, and determination to defeat leads equal determination to defend.

    May true music everywhere never relent in it’s never ending odyssey to find a perfect band of choir robes singing in perfect harmony—this search, my friend, will never cease. The ineffable memory of the torrential anti-rhythms will forever cause our horrent hair to stand on end!

  • Jeffro
    Jeffro

    My singing got a lot of commendation at the hall (though I would have preferred something like Creed or Pearl Jam). Though it wasn't particularly hard to stand out from the crowd of the tone-deaf clammering of the rest of 'em. There were quite a few people who it was impossible to be near because you would spend the entire time either laughing or cringing at the terrible voices.

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    Mr. Tanner
    by Harry Chapin

    Mister Tanner was a cleaner from a town in the Midwest.
    And of all the cleaning shops around he'd made his the best.
    But he also was a baritone who sang while hanging clothes.
    He practiced scales while pressing tails and sang at local shows.
    His friends and neighbors praised the voice that poured out from his throat.
    They said that he should use his gift instead of cleaning coats.

    But music was his life, it was not his livelihood,
    and it made him feel so happy and it made him feel so good.
    And he sang from his heart and he sang from his soul.
    He did not know how well he sang; It just made him whole.

    His friends kept working on him to try music out full time.
    A big debut and rave reviews, a great career to climb.
    Finally they got to him, he would take the fling.
    A concert agent in New York agreed to have him sing.
    And there were plane tickets, phone calls, money spent to rent the hall.
    It took most of his savings but he gladly used them all.

    But music was his life, it was not his livelihood,
    and it made him feel so happy and it made him feel so good.
    And he sang from his heart and he sang from his soul.
    He did not know how well he sang; It just made him whole.

    The evening came, he took the stage, his face set in a smile.
    And in the half filled hall the critics sat watching on the aisle.
    But the concert was a blur to him, spatters of applause.
    He did not know how well he sang, he only heard the flaws.
    But the critics were concise, it only took four lines.
    But no one could accuse them of being over kind.

    (spoken) Mr. Martin Tanner, Baritone, of Dayton, Ohio made his
    Town Hall debut last night. He came well prepared, but unfortunately
    his presentation was not up to contemporary professional standards.
    His voice lacks the range of tonal color necessary to make it
    consistently interesting.
    (sung) Full time consideration of another endeavor might be in order.

    He came home to Dayton and was questioned by his friends.
    Then he smiled and just said nothing and he never sang again,
    excepting very late at night when the shop was dark and closed.
    He sang softly to himself as he sorted through the clothes.
    Music was his life, it was not his livelihood,
    and it made him feel so happy and it made him feel so good.
    And he sang from his heart and he sang from his soul.
    He did not know how well he sang; It just made him whole.

    Layout, design, images, and user-contributed text are © Copyright 1996-2002 HarryChapin.com: The Harry Chapin Archive.

  • Ticker
    Ticker

    I sing and play with a band but during my JW times any music that wasn't JW was bad. Actually I find JW's aren't big music lovers or at least where I lived and they basically frowned upon playing an instrument because it detracted from your service time. Maybe they were uptight in the congregation I was in but they all thought playing music other then kingdom melodies was foolishness.

    Haha and they wonder why no sane person would want to live forever as a JW.

    Ticker

  • Jeffro
    Jeffro

    One of the young pioneer sisters in my former congregation was a good singer and she wanted to get professional singing lessons to polish her voice but her father (elder and PO) forbade it because it wouldn't be of any benefit to the preaching work.

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