by wanderlustguy 47 Replies latest jw friends
I just wonder why I put up with being one for so many years as an adult, when I knew it wasn't right? It is knowing no other reality I suppose.
Not only that, but in the back of your mind, there is the doubt, what if I'm wrong, what if the world ends in 6 months and I was wrong?
Have you ever seen 'The Truman Show'?
steve
You are a great writer, wlg!! That was the most ensightful, thoughtful post I have read in a while!
-April
Fantastic post WLG, its very touching. Thanks.
I can relate to most of what you stated. Your post has brought flooding back many emotions of what I had to endure as a kid. I was born into the cult and yes when I turned 18 I had the choice, get baptised or stop going. But at that age is there really any choice when that is all you know? When I was about seventeen years of age I wasn't keen on going along anymore, my fathers response was, if you stop going you can leave home now! At that age you are too young and immature to go out and take on the outside world that you don't know anything about. So the choice is made for you until you are old and mature enough to get up the courage and make a informed decision. For me it didn't happen until I was forty years of age. Like you, all I ever wanted as a kid was to have a happy normal life like all those other kids out there and to be accepted by all the so called worldly kids. I vividly remember sitting in the corner of the class room at school whilst all the other kids enjoyed the christmas party, my brain washed mind wouldn't allow me to participate for Jah was watching me and I would be punished should I join in. I remember always trying to hide the fact that I was a J dub but it never worked they always picked it because you were so, so different.
Nevertheless, my family now fully appreciate life and are making the most of it.
So many comments on this thread gave me a lump in my throat. 144,001, I really feel what you are saying!
Bitterness ,,, when it is present, I can feel it eating at me, like an acid. It's good to douse it with a big dollop of joy, so I do something that will make me laugh, or hug a friend. Or I get both fixes in one, and plat 'fetch' with my kitten, Blue!
I got to thinking, add the experience of having your abuse covered up, and you have been betrayed by your parents, the elders, "J*****ah ~ where is a child to turn, when all else are ruled by Satan? How does one begin to heal? (rhetorical questions) What if you could never believe in *it* in the first place because of this very dichotomy, and so you always thought believed, from the time you were a small child, that you were cursed? You spent your life wishing that you were born into the wrong family, and someone would come and rescue you.
A primer on how to believe in nothing and no one. The life story of a "born in".
No one can appreciate life like someone who was never allowed to have one.
Congratulations,,, we can have one now, because we are free from the Tower.
**Nothing succeeds like success.**
(okay, that was a bit dramatic, but, I couldn't help myself)
Hey, I am 1 yr, 1 month, and 1 day old!
lol !
1.1.1....hrm, must mean something, talesin!
luna, I was trying to think of something ,,, something clever to say, but I've not much to work with at the moment!
1 .. 1 .. 1
hmmm... the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one .. I've been wondering if this is one of the Vulcan philosophies that I must abandon. Perhaps the needs of the one are more important?
t
