OK, I'll post the ladies version, darn it. I was just gunna stick my feet up here a relax while my make believe girlfriend got me some dinner and a beer, but hell, no.
Have you ever had a pretend girl friend or boy friend?
by ballistic 16 Replies latest jw friends
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ballistic
For Women this can be achieved bu:
Not listening to yourself
Giving yourself a running commentary in the car on how badly everyone else is driving
Leaving the fridge door open for no apparent reason
Buying yourself cheap andscratchy underwear that was clearly bought for a slut half your size
Neglecting all your friends
Telling yourself that lifting your legs up to let the vacuum cleaner pass underneath is doing half the housework
Buying coloured loo roll that doesnt match the bathroom
Undermining your own confidence
Giving yourself and other Christmas and birthday presents wrapped in old newspaper held together by band aids
(Leaving monkey nuts around)
Reckoning that all the remote control problems can be fixed simply by taking out the batteries, giving them a quick rub whilst simultaneously breathing on them, putting them back in, then tapping the device several times on your thigh. {hey that actually works}
Getting in the way of yourself when looking in the mirror
Strapping a couple of dead rodents to the radiator for that comforting blokey smell
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delilah
Ballistic, I am now going in search of rodents strapped to the heater, .....that could be where the blokey smell is coming from..... Very funny thread, btw.....
Delilah (who sometimes wishes the husband was pretend.....)
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ohiocowboy
My next pretend Boyfriend would be self-inflatable, and come with his own patch kit...
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Valis
My next pretend Boyfriend would be self-inflatable, and come with his own patch kit...
um ohio if it doesn't come with any holes you probably got the Morrissey 9000 model by mistake... Sincerely, District Overbeer
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kls
um ohio if it doesn't come with any holes you probably got the Morrissey 9000 model by mistake...
LOL,Valis , you are so evil
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FlyingHighNow
Giving yourself and other Christmas and birthday presents wrapped in old newspaper held together by band aids
Oh now this one is funny. Never had a guy do this, but it's funny.