Have you ever had a pretend girl friend or boy friend?

by ballistic 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    OK, I'll post the ladies version, darn it. I was just gunna stick my feet up here a relax while my make believe girlfriend got me some dinner and a beer, but hell, no.

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    For Women this can be achieved bu:

    Not listening to yourself

    Giving yourself a running commentary in the car on how badly everyone else is driving

    Leaving the fridge door open for no apparent reason

    Buying yourself cheap andscratchy underwear that was clearly bought for a slut half your size

    Neglecting all your friends

    Telling yourself that lifting your legs up to let the vacuum cleaner pass underneath is doing half the housework

    Buying coloured loo roll that doesnt match the bathroom

    Undermining your own confidence

    Giving yourself and other Christmas and birthday presents wrapped in old newspaper held together by band aids

    (Leaving monkey nuts around)

    Reckoning that all the remote control problems can be fixed simply by taking out the batteries, giving them a quick rub whilst simultaneously breathing on them, putting them back in, then tapping the device several times on your thigh. {hey that actually works}

    Getting in the way of yourself when looking in the mirror

    Strapping a couple of dead rodents to the radiator for that comforting blokey smell

  • delilah
    delilah

    Ballistic, I am now going in search of rodents strapped to the heater, .....that could be where the blokey smell is coming from..... Very funny thread, btw.....

    Delilah (who sometimes wishes the husband was pretend.....)

  • ohiocowboy
    ohiocowboy

    My next pretend Boyfriend would be self-inflatable, and come with his own patch kit...

  • Valis
    Valis
    My next pretend Boyfriend would be self-inflatable, and come with his own patch kit...

    um ohio if it doesn't come with any holes you probably got the Morrissey 9000 model by mistake... Sincerely, District Overbeer

  • kls
    kls
    um ohio if it doesn't come with any holes you probably got the Morrissey 9000 model by mistake...

    LOL,Valis , you are so evil

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    Giving yourself and other Christmas and birthday presents wrapped in old newspaper held together by band aids

    Oh now this one is funny. Never had a guy do this, but it's funny.

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