If you're having difficulty procuring a partner, don't be disheartened. With a bit of imagination it's easy to simply pretend you have a girl friend For Men this is achived by:
Keep asking yourself what you're thinking
Tell yourself you're going to a wedding only two hours before it's due to start - and then complain to yourself all the way there that you never listen to anything you say
Drive yourself mad by singing loudly out of tune while guessing half the words to every song in the top 40
Force yourself to stay awake for several hours after a bout of self abuse talking about 'us'
Spend Saturday afternoons looking at thirty seven different tops and then say you can't afford one anyway
serve dinner right on kick off
constantly tell yourself to slow down in an annoying voice when driving
Tell all your pal's girlfriends your embarrassing habits and laugh it off later as 'just a bit of fun'.
Wash your towels
Stop the conversation aburuptly, regardless of how serious, whenever a favorite tune comes on the radio and say, 'Oh, I love this song'.
Leave large clumps of hair in the bath plug hole so uit eventually begins to look like Leo Sayer.
anyone...?
If anyone wants the ladies version let me know and I'll post the book as well.
