I would respect my wife's wishes, ultimately. Not that I would just let the matter rest without trying to get her to see the futility of it and trying to get her to at least accept fractions. But, if, after hearing and considering all of my arguments and she still wished to not have blood, or fractions thereof, I would respect her wishes and go along with it...and hope for the best.
Suppose your Dub wife needed a blood transfusion? [just suppose]
by BluesBrother 18 Replies latest watchtower medical
My 'dub wife and I had this very conversation recently. (It was time to renew the AMD apparently)
I told her I would respect her wishes, but I needed to know in no uncertain terms that those wishes were hers.
"What do you mean?" She said.
"Well, would you accept blood fractions?" I said
"Would you accept Hempure?"
"It's one of the new oxygen carrying blood substitutes. It's made by extracting the hemoglobin from the blood of cattle and then stabilizing it through polymerization."
"I'm not sure about that one."
"I mean I'll have to look that one up."
"Well here, I have a Scientific American from a couple of years ago that discussed these new blood substitutes in detail. Let me go get it for you." (I get up and head for the stairs.)
"That's not what I meant."
"I mean I'll have to look it up in the publications."
"What will JW publications tell you that the Scientific American won't? Whether the preparation is a matter of conscience or not?"
"You see the problem here don't you?"
"Well let's forget about Hemopure for now. Take some time and think about it....."
Good job, C_Y_P on pointing out the Watchtower-Authorized-Conscience at work. I've said before I would override my hubby's wishes, but now I am leaning more to respecting his choice. I do think it is absolutely essential that partners discuss this issue in detail, providing exceptions and examples as C_Y_P did. Many JW's fear death and fear having to make the choice, so they retreat in to a fuzzy-headed vague determination without thinking the matter through.
There are many surgeries where blood transfusions are optional, and under a skilled or lucky surgeon the patient comes out fine. I would support my husband's choice not to take blood in this circumstance.
There are two life-threatening scenarios where refusal to take blood would certainly kill. One is cancer, where the patient has time to fully consider the consequences (and, believe me, I would share them in full!), and the other is an accident where an artery is severed. In this second scenario, the patient would likely be unconscious, and I may be the only person who knows of the JW's wishes for no blood.
It's this second scenario I offered up to my hubby. What would he do if I stayed silent and allowed the emergency crews to administer a life-saving transfusion? He retreated in to a fuzzy-headed "We'll worry about that when it happens". I took that as tacit approval. He won't mind playing conscientious objector as long as his choice doesn't kill him. He'll accept my passive intervention if he's not in any condition to override it.
After he recovers he can scold me roundly. I can live with a live, scolding husband much better than a dead one.
I'd honor the Witness's wishes as long as those did not violate my own ethics. My personal ethics today say religious superstition never prevails over objective pragmatism. If ya wanna commit suicide, get somebody else to pull the trigger. I will err on the side of saving a life. I think a suicidal person is mentally ill and incompetent. I've helped one Witness go to an early grave. I've regretted it ever since. No more.
Unless by the time this hypothetical situation comes up, my wife has a blood card and 2 elders + 3 large beefy ministerial servant bodyguards, she's getting the blood if she's out cold. Should she be awake I assume she will tell them 'no blood' herself. As we share the same blood type, if need by I can roll up my sleeve right then and there and tell them to have at it to save her life. As somebody else said, this would likely tick her off, but I can deal with an angry wife much better than I can being a widower.
One of the worst scenarios I can picture is my wife becoming pregnant and during delivery needing blood. In that case, no matter what, I would attempt, even if it meant lawyers or whatever, to make sure she got it to save the child. As my wife is anemic, this is a very plausible scenario. If my wife were so far gone into dubhood as to refuse blood to save a baby though...I'm not sure what would happen afterward as far as our marriage.
I would have to respect my wifes wishes. If we expect our JW mates to respect our disbeif of WTS teaching, we likewise have to respect their belief in it. We all must find our own way.
Speaking from strictly a PERSONAL point of view, not professional, of what I would do with MY relatives and my relatives only. I would make sure the blood was administered and would not tell the person. I know what the society says about those who have been given transfusions against their will not being "bloodguilty" they are innocent. Fine...I'll stand before their God to be judged then.
Just because a child doesn't like taking medicine or believes putting salve on a wound is evil...I'm not going to let fear and ignorance dictate whether someone lives or dies.
She did. I didn't force it. Probably couldn't have anyway, against the papers she signed stating she would not accept it, along with her emphatic and repeated refusals. But if the docs at the hospital weren't so highly ethical, and the opportunity presented itself, I would probably have gone along with Evil Force's line of reasoning and snuck in a few units, at least during the time she was not expected to pull through. She was unconscious for almost a month. It was awful.
what garybuss and evilforce said.
i have a lack of respect for religion. this particular religion, along with others, have spilled enough blood in the name of superstition aka "faith". screw them.
if she finds out, and leaves me, oh well. at least she's alive.