by Been there 13 Replies latest social relationships

  • tijkmo

    just a little point been there about his recent behaviour..he sounds a lot like me

    i had bottled up guilt and shame for so long that it was a relief to finally come clean...and i needed to talk about wife however didnt want to know...i can understand this but since i was df and therefore unable to speak to anyone else and since she wanted to fix things..and i wanted to aswell..then talking them through is vital...her continual refusal to allow this meant i lost interest and we are no longer together..

    he does seem different to me to the other poster's husband.(code blue i think) who was constantly doing this for 20 years..after 1 years marraige..apparently with no guilt and then refused to accept the blame..

    i think you have every reason for hope...if that is what you want

  • ballistic

    I've never cheated on a woman ever. Although technically I was still married when I started dating women after I split up with my wife, the divorce takes a while to come through. The good catholic girl I met after my wife wanted to keep her virginity so we had to do everything except that. It was a long time ago now.

  • katiekitten

    What a gent Balistic.

    Ive been on both sides of the fence (what goes around comes around). I wasnt technically unfaithful to my husband, I just made him so unhappy because I fell in Lust with someone and I wouldnt stop contacting them, then my ex went off and had a real affair, and the marriage ended.

    My next long term partner was unfaithful to me for a whole year when we started dating, and had even managed to move his 'other' girlfriend in with him. After a messy couplr of years we sorted things out, and got then straight.

    I can honestly say the trust can be rebuit of both people want it to, but its a hard road. My partner was in a right old pickle, and didnt want to actually be in the ridiculous situation he had managed to get himself in. It was a total relief for him to be found out, but he would never have had the courage to tell me (understandably).

    The real benefit is that my partner would NEVER get himself into such a mess again because it hurt him almost as much as me. So if your partner is really dedicated to sorting it out with you, he may turn into someone way more trustworty. They dont ALL go off and do it again, despite what people say.

  • Been there
    Been there

    I'm here and reading your replies but right now my brain is just to tired (foggy) to answer anyone. I appreciate your kindness and support. Keep it coming.

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