Create A Religion

by joelbear 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Mine is called Nufefee Mang Mang and the followers are called Mangists.

    Mang is a kind god, 1/3 male 1/3 female and 1/3 vegemale. Mang has no physical form but comes to followers in their dreams and while they are eating soup. The swirling designs in soup are most often used to convey spiritual messages.

    Mang created the universe by chopping up the solid ungod thing and throwing it into the wind where it became all that is except for Mang.

    Major tenets.

    The purpose of life is living.

    Death is like poo poo.

    We should all live in one big house with a pool. Do not pee in the pool.

    The shower is the greater elevator of the soul.

    Blue heaven is a place on earth.

    Leaping for joy is encouraged.

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Even with the simple tenets of your new religion I see problems brewing that could lead to a new sect forming. For instance you say don't pee in the pool and the shower is the great elevator of the soul. Can I pee in the elevator IE the shower? Is it ok to pee in your wetsuit? Things like this could lead to great controversy, maybe even religious wars.

  • Mary
    Mary

    Joelbear I have one question: how much dope did you smoke before you did this post?

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Hey dudes, I said create your own religion, now criticize mine.

    what a world what a world.

    you can't change the world buy you can change your world.

  • Elsewhere
  • joelbear
    joelbear

    ok ok,

    maybe y'all need another example. how about Carmartung

    there is no personal god. god is believed to exist in the exhalation of gas from plants and animals.

    evil comes in the form of gas exhausts of manmade technology.

    there is no heaven or hell but a 2nd and 3rd existence called maylay and fargu.

    in the maylay stage our inner beings spend several thousand years as a carbon molecule.

    in fargu we must sit upright for eternity or have pudding placed in our ears.

  • Quentin
    Quentin

    God is beer...Beer is God...he is given obeisance simply as Beer...when you drink beer God is in you, however due to the natural function of the body our God becomes lost to us...therefore it behooves the believer to copiously and consistently consume Beer, otherwise He would be lost to us and we would go into the everlasting cutting off...Brothers! Sisters!...do not be deceived by the Liqueurs, OL JOHNUS BARLEY CORNUS...they are not of the Beer...that path leads to sorrow...send money...and all shout AMEN!!!

  • Terry
    Terry
    God is beer...Beer is God...

    OH! That explains why God is ALWAYS PISSED!

    Bada Bing

    T.

  • Quentin
    Quentin
    OH! That explains why God is ALWAYS PISSED!

    Bada Bing

    Heh..heh...ummm...no comment...

  • BrendaCloutier
    BrendaCloutier

    My religion is based upon my avatar.

    I am Princess, she who must be obeyed!

    I want tuna, mnow!

    I want lap, mnow!

    I want out, mnow!

    What you expect ME to use the cat door?!

    I want out, mnow! Open the Human Door, mnow!

    Milk? mnow!

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