I'm going to pass on some info I gained as a detox nurse who worked with addicts, alcoholics and the cross-addicted (alcohol and drugs) for five solid years.
1. The relationship that means the most to an addict is the one he or she has with their substance of choice. End of story.
2. Addicts are clever, manipulative and will lie, cheat, steal and tell you whatever it is that you need to hear in order for the above mentioned relationship to continue.
3. You have NO control over the addict's behaviour.
4. You are not to blame for the addict's behaviour.
5. If you choose to stay you need to find out how to live with your decision.
6. Ditto if you decide to leave.
Andi made a great suggestion...she said you should find an Al-anon group where you can meet other people who are in your situation. I highly recommend it. I have seen the spouses of my alchoholic patients do a 180 in their sense of worth and empowerment. If you choose to stay those meeting can teach you how not to be an "enabler". You will also learn the huge difference between "ACTION" and "REACTION"....a lesson a great many women in your situation need to learn. One makes you crazy, the other gives you your power back.
My heart goes out to you...anybody living with an alcoholic is already stronger than any woman should have to be, especially someone about to deliver a baby. I hope you have some kind of help at this time. Please take care of yourself, your kids need you. ((((((HUGS))))))