opinions please

by Ellie 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Evanescence

    It depends how serious it is. If the person is as bad as Homer Simpson or just drinks occasionally. But for Someone as Bad as Homer Simpson I wouls suggest Alcoholics Anonymous.

    Evanescence *if you drink and drive your a bloody idiot!* (ohh Australian commercials lol) *just a little bit over? you bloody idiot!*

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    1 how would you feel about them going out a lot?

    2 How much freedom would you give them?

    3 Would you think it reasonable for them to either go out without you once a week, sometimes staying out all night but certainly till very late?

    4 Or having friends round to drink alcohol / smoke weed?

    Ellie, 1 I'd feel extremely uncomfortable, 2 though I'm not a "control freak," I'd say they'd hafta be on a short leash or it'd be "Adios, Muchacho!" 3 Absolutely NOT! 4 there's also an AA support group for family members of alcoholics that teaches them not to be "enablers." Crabby Pants (my ex) was an abusive alcoholic. I got fed up and left (when I was 8 mos. preggers with our daughter) his buttocks high and dry! When he quit drinking I came back. That's because even a neighbor verified that he had quit drinking. Little did I know that his Forest Gump with a bad attitude persona was innate and not due to alcoholism. I left again and didn't ever come back. So I know whereof I speak, (((Ellie)))). Hugs, Frannie

    Hugs and wishing you the best, cher!


  • Es

    Oh Ellie you poor thing, It would be very hard, I know myself I would be very angry everytime he went out, especially since your four days overdue and you already have a child, his first responsibility should be towards you, I know if i was you i would be extremely angry but im a ball breaker so i wouldnt let my partner go out if i was that far along, i have had one bad relationship like that so im very wary of having another male like that. All the best hun :) Hope all goes well with your baby too es

  • Xandria

    Change starts with you~ by making changes with yourself, and then change will begin to affect your life too. (The one thing you can truly control is what you do). Once the changes start with you, it will radiate out into your life~ but you have to be determined to make these changes and I am not saying it will be easy either. Change in you makes you stronger to handle the issues around you. The first step is finding a support network.

  • zulukai

    I'm going to pass on some info I gained as a detox nurse who worked with addicts, alcoholics and the cross-addicted (alcohol and drugs) for five solid years.

    1. The relationship that means the most to an addict is the one he or she has with their substance of choice. End of story.
    2. Addicts are clever, manipulative and will lie, cheat, steal and tell you whatever it is that you need to hear in order for the above mentioned relationship to continue.
    3. You have NO control over the addict's behaviour.
    4. You are not to blame for the addict's behaviour.
    5. If you choose to stay you need to find out how to live with your decision.
    6. Ditto if you decide to leave.

    Andi made a great suggestion...she said you should find an Al-anon group where you can meet other people who are in your situation. I highly recommend it. I have seen the spouses of my alchoholic patients do a 180 in their sense of worth and empowerment. If you choose to stay those meeting can teach you how not to be an "enabler". You will also learn the huge difference between "ACTION" and "REACTION"....a lesson a great many women in your situation need to learn. One makes you crazy, the other gives you your power back.
    My heart goes out to you...anybody living with an alcoholic is already stronger than any woman should have to be, especially someone about to deliver a baby. I hope you have some kind of help at this time. Please take care of yourself, your kids need you. ((((((HUGS))))))

  • hibiscusfire

    Hi congratulations for your baby!

    Be strong.

    Take care of the little ones. They need you.

    If you can't cope with the alcohol abuse leave that life. You deserve much better. He will learn the hard way if he doesn't want to change. Yes you are in control of your life. You are not responsible for his bad behaviour.

    Maybe one day he'll realise it...it may be too late for him or things could change for the better.

    Watch Wait and Pray.


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