GIVE A GOOD WITNESS---------------

by vitty 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  vitty

  
  

  "Give a good witness" Today I made an effort to wave to my neighbour, not because I particularly wanted to or like him, but had a feeling I needed to "prove how nice I was or to give a good witness"

  Habits die hard, this follows on from the guilt thread.

  I still feel that *I put on a front, I cant be myself, in case I do or say something that could bring reproach, what the hell on I dont know i havent been to a meeting for over a year no one here knows I was a witness.

  So whats going on, when do I say or do what I feel., instead of this facade or do "ordinary" ppl go through this

  I want to tell all my new friends "I was in a cult for 20 of my adult years " but they wouldnt understand

  Ive just got to come to terms with the fact that if I let my guard down, ill be viewed as odd, or strange, so ill give a good witness for me
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  vitty

  Me thinks everyone has gone to bed................
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  tabbycat

  Hi there, I think the urge to be 'nice' even when you REALLY don't want to isn't a JW thing, it's a personality thing, so you're stuck with it!

  I think there are lots of reasons for it: wanting to avoid pointless enemies and confrontations, however minor; being a decent, sensitive and perceptive person; knowing you'll feel bad if you don't acknowledge someone etc.

  All in all, I think it's a good sign, as long as you make sure people don't take kindness for weakness when they're being a pain in the ****. It's different when people are being hostile, manipulative or unreasonable. Save your energy for those situations and keep waving to the neigbour!
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  love2Bworldly

  I know what you mean. It takes a long time for one's brain to register that you don't have to worry anymore what people think of you, that you can just be yourself, and that being yourself is not bringing reproach upon God.
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  tabbycat

  ...and another thing! you're giving a good witness, as you said, to the fact that non-JW's are good people too. I strongly object to the notion (amongst JWs) that they have are the only people who 'do unto others as you would be done to' (or whatever the phrase is). If you were frostier, it would confirm to the JWs that they are right, and suggest to non-JWs that when you leave you become 'hard'.

  I should start taking my own comments to heart. I can be a right bitch now!
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  Sad emo

  poor vitty! I'll talk just before I go to bed!!

  had a feeling I needed to "prove how nice I was

  I reckon a lot of people wave/smile etc to make themselves feel good rather than out of any genuine intent - polite society and all that.

  I dunno much really but from the rest of what you wrote, it really sounds like you waved for genuine reasonsrather than politeness - maybe you're still confused in what you felt because its what you've been conditioned to think you feel. (hope that makes sense - now you understand my need for bed !)

  So I agree with tabbycat - keep on waving!
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  greendawn

  I think you should get rid of this persona ie mask that hides your true feelings and aspirations you must be what you believe you must be and not be sidetracked for the sake of the jws or anyone else.
  
  Otherwise life can appear to be articficial and strained. Greeting a neighbour is nothing negative for your psychology it may even be good for it, but I mean other more serious issues of life where we shouldn't pretend.
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  DanTheMan

  I've gotten over the feeling that I represent anything but myself, and my family.
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  in a new york bethel minute

  yep- i do it too! but i give a good witness for humans. i try to be as polite as i can, except to chinese people when im driving... they don't seem to mind when i get upset.

  bethel minute
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  Agnes

  What about the notion that going out of your way to be friendly might make the other person feel good. I don't think the effort is always put forth to make ourselves feel good. Agnes