Grandparents and grandkids

orion

< => I have a question for anyone who can help out. My oldest (7) has gone to his grandparents. Normally he stays 1 week or 1 1/2 weeks. This time grandma wants him for 3 1/2 weeks....I think this is to long. So I call her up and tell her I want him to come home for a week then he can go back out there, which is when he will fly with her to s. cali to get his cousin. He will be done there for 4 days then they will fly back. I know once there back my son will want to stay there to play with his cousin. So, when I told grandma that I wanted him back for a week, she didn't really want to give him back. (just for info, she lives 2 hours away and sees him at least once a month). i told her that his brothers miss him and i miss him and that a long time for him to be gone.....she doesn't think so. By this time I'm irritated with her. Finally I just call and tell her my husband will be there to pick him up on his way back from working out of town. She says that he wants to stay, when I talked to him the day before he wanted to come home for a few days. Does anyone else find this weird, or unusual?

< => P.S. sometimes i just get this gut feeling like she wants to take him away from me....although I don't really think she would.
Yes she is a JW but she is laid back

Ellie

I do find this a bit odd, not saying that there is anything sinister going on but hes your son, you don't have to explain to her or argue with her about why you want him home, thats a long time for a seven year old to be away from his mum.

No, you put your foot down.

outoftheorg

Since this child is yours and your Hubbies, He is your responsibility and you are obligated to look out

for his well being.

Since this child is a part of Your Immediate family ,where he is effects the harmony of your house hold.

In other words it is no ones business about your decisions regarding your child and where he is.

Make it clear that you and the child's father make these decisions and expect them to be honored by family and any one else involved.

It is best to never let anyone start changing or objecting to this type of decision.

Outoftheorg

kls

Orion , it is plain and simple really, yes you may hurt your mom feeling but he is your son and not hers ,so what you say is the way it is ,wether she likes it or not. Me personally , i can't wait for my grandkids to leave ,hee hee ,nice granny ain't i.

nilfun

It is hard sometimes to say "no" to a parent, yet there are different ways to do this.

How about having Grandma bring the cousin to your home, so that all the children can play together? That way your son won't be apart from his brothers for such a long time and the cousin can be included too.

orion

thats a good idea, I have a feeling she will say no but I will try. I'll let everyone no how it goes.

orion

New news, my husband showed up to get our son and guess what....she wasn't there. He called her cell phone and she said that they were getting something to eat and would be back in 45 min. So , my hubby is upset and asked me to call her, which I did. She gets mad and tells us the world doesn't revolve around us and that i was just trying to talk me son into going home but he doesn't want to. Anyway to make a long story short ...My hubby is pissed and she is bringing my son home tomorrow. i'm hurt and upset and i don't want my son to feel like he is being denied being with grandma. All she had to do was say "well, if you miss him then he should go home and then I will see him agin on thursday". oh if things were only that simple.

Netty

Wow, that really takes big ones; to do what your mom did. You definately need to nip this in the bud, cuz that is just plain wrong. She actually thinks she has some power here. Stand up to her, in no uncertain terms. I get what you are saying, about not penalizing your son, but on the other hand, I would take a break from good ol' grandma right now. A few weeks, whatever the case may be. And let her know, that IF there is to be next time, she had better play by your rules.

I know thats a hard thing to do, we all have a hard time with the thought of standing up to our parents. But that is pretty blatant. I had to recently demand that my mother no longer preach to my kids while they are with her, so I know its hard. But you know what, is she wants to see her grandkids, she better abide by my wishes. And I do know better, because I ask my kids.

Sorry you are going through this. Be strong!

nilfun

Gee, I hope Gramma didn't say those things in front of your son. Sounds like her nonsense, if left unchecked, will cause divisions in your family circle (you, husband & children). I hate to say this, but some parents need to be "re-trained" in what their role is in their adult children's lives -- your mother may be one of those. You two are on equal ground now, as you are both adults. She cannot dictate to you anymore.

I wish you and your husband the best. You two can put your heads together and come up with a strategy so that you can face this as a united front.

Take care.

orion

She is bringing him back this morning. i hope that we can be polite about this. I want my son to see his grandma but I don't want to fight her to get him back. When i said I miss him and I want him home for a few days she starts up with.."we had an agreement". We had an agreement that she would get to spend time with him this summer not that she would get him 3 + weeks straight. arrgggg

gotta be cool, gotta be the adult here

Grandparents and grandkids

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