I need advice, please help.

lola28

I went to meeting last night (don't ask) and someone asked me to go out in service. I was taken by surprise and actually agreed to do street work on Saturday. The sister that I'm supposed to work with has always been very kind to me and I know that there is no one else in our hall that will go out with her on Saturday morning.

I don't want to be rude to this sister but I can't bring myself to go out and preach something that I don't believe in. The last few times that I've been asked out in service I have managed to get out of it and on those occasions when I could not get out of it I always happened to "over sleep".

So how do I get out of going in service with this sister with out hurting her feelings ? I also don't wan't to draw any attention from the elders, this would be at least the fouth time that I cancel on someone for service. Any one have any suggestions ?

Thanks

Lola

Country Girl

You have been siezed by a sudden case of melancholy.

CG

happehanna

You could ring her and politely say that you have a few personal things going off in your life at the moment and cant see your way clear to go in the field service for awhile. thank her for asking and wish her well.

You dont have to explain yourself too much, the less said, probably the better.

take care

Legolas

Sorry I can't give you advice because I don't know your circumstances of why you are still 'in'. ( that is your personal choice and I am judging you or anything). I wish I could help.

undercover

Hi Lola,

Are you baptized? If not, run...get away from the JWs and stay away. You mentioned that you don't believe it. If you don't believe it, why continue going to meetings and agreeing to field service?

If you are baptized that's a tougher deal. You could just feign sickness or lie and say some other unavoidable situation has arisen, but in time, you wil have to deal with anyone who keeps pressuring you. Without knowing all the circumstances, I think any advise we would give would just be something to reflect on as you make your own decision as to what to do.

I'm sure others will post their own experiences in how they dealt with it. That might give you some good ideas.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

kls

You could use a little white lie and tell her you are sorry but you forgot you have something to do that day and how sorry you are .

rebel8

I can think of a lot of funny answers to your question, but the serious answer is the same as everyone else's. If you're set on not drawing suspicion, then make up a personal emergency (grandma in hospital) or sudden contagious illness (pink eye).

lola28

Thank you guys for your help, Undercover I am baptized so that makes it harder, I'm not ready to be DF'ed but I also don't want to go out in service and lie to people. It is one thing to go to the meetings. I just sit in the back room and "take notes" I don't participate or comment. But it is quite another thing to actually go out and talk to people about something that I know is a lie.

I have cancelled on people before, this month I have missed street work several times. I have either over slept or "gotten sick" at the last minute. I work a lot so I manage to use that as my excuse for missing door to door work and most of the meetings. My fear is that if I continue to do this someone will mention to the elders that I have a pattern of missing my service arrangments.

I really don't want to get a lecture from the elders about letting my "no mean no and my yes mean yes" because I know that if they take me into the back room I will tell them exactly what I think about the society and will end up getting DF'ed. I only go to meetings about once a month, but it is getting harder for me to sit there and not say what I'm really thinking. Yesterday during the school my heart began to beat really fast and I actually had to get up and go outside for a few minutes.

It is only a matter of time before I leave the org. for good but I want to do it when I feel ready to and I just don't want to draw any attention to myself until I'm ready to leave for good.

Thank you again for your help.

Lola

greendawn

It's really pointless forcing yourself to do something you strongly dislike. Sooner or later you will have to face this situation if the jws don't like the fact that you won't slave away for the WTS then it's their problem.

Carol

When I faded, I did it gradually also. If you've only been making one or two meetings a month, you really don't qualify to go in field service. Rather than call with an excuse....just don't show up. If the congo has the right to be rude and ask why, you have the right to be rude and not give a reason. I find caller ID very helpful and if I don't want to answer the door when someone knocks or rings the bell, I don't/didn't. The WTB&TS is an either or cult.....you're either in or your out.

Good Luck....keep in touch, it seems everyone here is willing to help, at least that's been my experience over the last few weeks.

Carol

I need advice, please help.

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