I am new here, former JW left years ago.

by out of the box 31 Replies latest jw experiences

  • out of the box
    out of the box

    I want to discuss my experiences with the Witnesses.

    How it began: I was recruited during the time I was escaping from a violent husband to a shelter. A witness came to my door as I was preparing to move during the day without him knowing (while he was at work). She said it was 'Jehovah's' direction that she came to my door in time! They tried to keep us together!!! They showed him a part in the 'Truth' book (small blue book used in the 70's) that said when a woman is smarter than her husband (more intelligent) then she should make sure she doesn't point this out to him and give in to his leadership so as not to make him feel less or lower than her. He played them and tried to use this on me to get me back. I LEFT him and never looked back. That was MY decision, details don't need to be rehashed here.

    Anyway, I was recruited during a very low time in my life. I NEEDED friends and support. My family didn't realize how abusive that my husband had gotten since he returned from Vietnam. This was such an opportunity for them (JW's) to 'grab' me before I dissapeared!

    Years later, now looking back, and some conscience relieving therapy (de-programing) from a Psychologist who specialized in former JW's. She was wonderful in re-affriming that I was a separate individual with a mind of my own and the 'God-given' ability to make my own decisions based on MY OWN reason! I was lucky to 'get out' really OUT. I stayed 9 years as a baptised JW, 9 years too LONG! I also messed up my little sister's life (who became one, and then left too later) and the friends I had who helped me back then and became JW's too at the time. My children still feel resentment for that time in our lives when the children of the other JW's put them through hell (I never knew this). The guilt I have is not that I left the JW's but that I actually became one and preached to all my friends and family and left them all behind for that long! My poor relatives who had to be apologized to later on. That was hard too.

    Thanks for the opportunity to have a place to finally tell this story! There is so much more to tell, you know things that other members of the congregation did that made me cock my head, 'wha?'! Thank God I had access to a public library to research things that were told to me. I had forgotten a lot of it till I read some of the forum here (fell upon this site through a search). I thought, maybe some of the things I experienced MAY help someone else to release their conscience too!

  • zagor
    zagor

    Welcome, out of the box.

    Stick around there's plenty of support here

  • Momofmany
    Momofmany
    My children still feel resentment for that time in our lives when the children of the other JW's put them through hell (I never knew this). The guilt I have is not that I left the JW's but that I actually became one and preached to all my friends and family and left them all behind for that long! My poor relatives who had to be apologized to later on. That was hard too.

    Boy, can I relate all too well. Welcome, and I have found that this site to be helpful and supportive.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Welcome to JWD, out of the box!

    My children hated their growing up years in the organization, too, and I did find apologizing to my relatives difficult, but they were more than gracious.

    Try on the saying, "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." That's how I now view my 11+ years as a baptized JW. How much more aware are we of manipulators, half-truths, faulty logic, subtle brainwashing techniques, etc., now that we've escaped WT bondage? And how much more determined to live our lives in ways that are true to the real us inside? It gives one a sense of gratitude for the sweet life one can now live, don't you think?

    Cheers!

    Brenda

  • Frog
    Frog

    You don't need to feel guilty for a moment 'out of the box' re preaching to your friends. Those people each had minds of their own, and were all taken in by false promises just as you were. You're clearly a kind and loving friend to be concerned for your friends and their wellbeing, this is the only reason that you shared with them what you desperately hoped was the "truth", but turned out to be false promises and misguided trust.

    You should stick around the board for as long as you need to, it's a really great and upbuilding place for people who are ready and beyond burrying their past mistakes. Who knows you might also be able to give much needed advice to new people who post here who are suffering from leaving the org, perhaps this will go some way to appeasing the unnecessary burden of conscience you feel towards those that were attracted to the "truth" through you.

    Wish you all the best, was great readying your positive and determined post:) frog

  • kls
    kls

    Hello and welcome to JWD

  • kazar
    kazar

    A hearty welcome to the board. Hope to be hearing more from you.

  • potleg
    potleg

    Welcome, I'm so glad you got out. I wish I could get other members of my family out. Stick around I know you'll be able to help others break away and we all need support after leaving. Good to have you on board.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    welcome!

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    Welcome to the board OOTB. Im sure you will find anything you need here in the way of support.

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