by troubled 37 Replies latest jw friends
JT,
Let me ditto what Farkel said. Putting yourself to great trouble and some risk for strangers, well, I just want to say I commend you. You break the mold. I hope these people thank you and I am sure they do. I would like to add my thanks to theirs. May you and your wife find the happiness and comfort you add to the lives of others. #1 was a good handle for you and Mrs. #1.
Your friend,
Good advice above, especially regarding sharing and venting. Pressure is best handled by release.
Sigh of comfort!
Feelings of relief!
Tears of joy!
(((((((((((((((INTENSE GRATITUDE TO EACH POSTER))))))))))
Thank you, everyone who responded to my post yesterday. What can I say? I feel overwhelmed by your concern. I'm speechless. Makes me think of that Natalie Merchant song, "... I want to Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You."
Seriously, though, reading your posts made my heart feel almost physically comforted, expanded abit with joy. Like a kind of happy balloon. (One plus for depression: the ability to feel intense joy and love, as well as deep pain and despair!) I'm grateful to you all. Your comments got me through a really rough time.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I will print out your responses and ponder over them. Then, in my next post, I will reply to each of you.
I cannot see you, but you concern embraces me across the distance. Please let my gratitude touch you. I wish only good things for each of you.
: we arranged alittle dinner over at our house an a number of them showed up - the rest due to schedules were not able to make it , but they appreicated having someone just to bounce things off
: we are planning another one in about 3 or 4 weeks
You are one of the finest human beings I've even known in my 53 years of life. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have known you and to still know you, sir.
Farkel
#######
well thank you sir- but this is the key to helping those who leave in my opinion
YOU GOT TO TALK TO SOMEONE FACE TO FACE OR at least on the phone- after speaking with another person who is or has gone thru the same thing makes all the difference in the world
the point she made of being ALONE IS THE KEY to wt being able to control folks
THE OLD "WHERE WILL YOU GO" AND ALL NON-JW are WICKED line is very powerful after being at bethel and coming out, being an elder I made sure i had no MALE- NON-JW friends beyond a hello how are you on my jobs and the hood i lived in
so when i left wt i had no friends at all to talk to- on the other hand my wife secretly kept in touch with many of her "worldly" friends so when we left she had all these folks to hang with and go shopping with- -- me on the other hand it was hard as hell
so having someone to bounce your feelings with is the key to helping folks like trouble get over the hump
but it is up to them to take advantage of the tools
I HAVE SPOken to so many former jw from OLD SCHOOL those who left in the 70' and some even in the 80's who for 10-20yrs could not shake that WT monkey off thier back till they got on the net and realized that they were not the only ones and they were not ALONE
so i thank you for the kind words, but just trying to repay to others what was done for us-
yes you can leave WT INTACT as much as can be expected after being in a cult but one can get on with life only if they use the tools that are out here to help them
james
JT,
Let me ditto what Farkel said. Putting yourself to great trouble and some risk for strangers, well, I just want to say I commend you. You break the mold. I hope these people thank you and I am sure they do. I would like to add my thanks to theirs. May you and your wife find the happiness and comfort you add to the lives of others. #1 was a good handle for you and Mrs. #1.
Your friend,
Grunt
######
we both thank you as well
It was very scary having over to ones home folks who lives have been destroyed- as one sister sister i have not had any one to talk to in yrs who understood what i have been dealing with
some had thier nonjw mates and many of them admitted that they did not understand the depth to which this religion went in their mates lives, but they too were thankful to be there and it helps them to help thier mates out when they exp depression for no reason
other than thier old religion is bothering them
the nonjw mates told me that they now understand much better the reasons they have had certain types of issues in their marriage and now can be more sensitive to thier needs
the old "Just get over it" line as many of them have found out SIMPLY DON'T WORK
so it was a learning exp for all of us
i look forward to doing more-
james
but thanks
again
So true what JT says, Troubled. Now for story time.
About 3 years ago, while I was still very much a believer, I was going thru the hard combination of depression and the end of my marriage. Which came first is a little unclear right now. One evening as I was working alone towards the far end of the studio, realizing human contact would be a bit embarrasing at the moment, due to the fact that Natalie Merchants "My beloved wife" was playing, one of the other (worldly) guys who works with me hollered, "goodbye" as he was headed home. Between seeing my back heave a bit, and the strain in my reply, he took a moment to peek around at me. He promptly went to the stereo, shut if off, came over to me and hugged me as I wept, saying, "you fuckin' moron, you can't be listening to THAT right now", or substance thereof.
All the elders, and several other men in my congregation knew about my circumstances. None of them used the word "fuckin'" in their speach to me, but then again, none of them hugged me either. I kinda got the frickin' feelin' that that friggin' worldly person (and several others) freakin' cared about my fuckin' feelin's. Encouragement from my "brothers" was almost nonexistant, and follow up "how are YOU's" with genuine interest was totally nonexistant.
But, they don't curse, so that is something. Not much, if you really need support, but something. Perhaps in Witness eulogies, they can start saying that: "he didn't curse much". Make it more personal.
I digress. The moral of the story; Don't listen to Natalie Merchant when you are depressed, and don't keep thinking you are alone. There are 6 billion people out there, only about 6 million of them don't want to be a part of the circle of life.
"Im'a be a freakin' papist in a John Paul mask" the Real Slim Sixy
JT said:
about few weeks ago i put out on the net an open questionANY TIRED JW IN THE WASHINGTON DC AREA- i got a response from 13 folks
we arranged a little dinner over at our house an a number of them showed up - the rest due to schedules were not able to make it , but they appreicated having someone just to bounce things off
we are planning another one in about 3 or 4 weeks
I live only 30 minutes from DC, and I go down there once a week for my breakdance practise, I would love to go to one of these. Please contact me for next time you go, my email is [email protected] and my AOL IM name is bboyneko
my numbah is 410-992-0498
Thanx!
-Dan
you guys are the bomb.
now the light gets brighter.
-Zev, honourary member, The hurling class
__
Zev
The greatest consistancy of the WTBTS is their INconsistancy.
