Feeling So Alone

by troubled 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • Seeker
    Seeker

    troubled,

    As I said once to you before, you are at stages many of us have hit before. I, too, remember the 'don't-belong-anywhere' feeling vividly. I was an elder at the time. As biblexaminer says, it was very hard to keep doing parts all while knowing something was seriously wrong.

    What could you do about it? Well, you could immediately short-circuit this stage by going to the elders with your doubts and news from these web sites. We both know the response, of course: sudden and immediate "interest" in you, whereas before you've been ignored. Ask yourself why this is. Why do the elders basically ignore you until you start having doubts, and then they pounce on you? Why do you hesitate to even tell your husband about these things? Why has this information been so 'demonized' by WTS statements? Since when is knowledge, truth, and accountability so harmful to a person?

    So you have us here who tell you to do whatever you want to do, and we'll support your choice. On the other side are the elders and the WTS who tell you not to even think about things that you read here. Shut it out of your mind and focus solely on what they teach. You and I know which choice is more appealing -- you're still here, and you haven't approached the elders. We know. We've been there.

    Once again I will remind you that we have gone through this, and these stages do pass, and it does get better. There is something priceless about truth, the whole truth, no matter the consequences to our lives. It's something about self-respect. And using our "whole minds."

    Keep doing what you want, and learning what you want, and keep posting your thoughts. We will always be here.

  • zev
    zev

    been there. doing that. i know the pain your feeling. sometimes i leave the meeting in a hurl of anger and depression all at the same time. i know what your going through, as i have been going through this for months. tonight my excuse was it was too hot. nextmeeting i miss? i dont know, but the excuse will be lame. when ever my wife is away, i dont go at all. so this week i've been to no meetings. i miss my friends, and will as i draw away, but they will be replaced.

    i see it this was, if my wife and my friends see fit to draw away and leave me, then those are not good people who will stick by you through thin and thick. those are not true friends. or a true wife.

    just my two cents. be strong. i'll be thinking, and praying for you.

    -Zev, honourary member, The hurling class
    __
    Zev
    The greatest consistancy of the WTBTS is their INconsistancy.

  • patientservant
    patientservant

    Hi Troubled, just want you to know, you are far from alone. Even when I can't be there in body I am in spirit. My prays are with you and I guess most others who visit this place are praying for you too. Your heavy heart can be felt through your words and I hope you can feel the warmth and care this message is sent to you with.

    Your words remind me of Psalm 38. Remember this, our Lord is wherever you look for Him. No earthly orgonization required!! Jesus offered rest for the weary.
    "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest four your souls".
    Mt11. 28,29.

    God Bless

  • Commie Chris
    Commie Chris

    I can't add much to what has already been said by these fine people. You may find that your attachment to the Borg is a symptom of an underlying depression which needs to be treated. When I was a JW I was also an alcoholic. Both the cult and my drinking were ways of avoiding dealing with painful childhood issues. After leaving the Borg I dealt with those issues. It certainly ain't easy, but I am now sober and thinking entirely for myself. It seems very hard now, and it is, but you are on the right track. Be strong!

  • gsark
    gsark

    (((troubled))), (((zev))) and to (((everyone else))) who's answering this post. We swim alone or we swim together. For myself, i prefer together.

    Gsark--from the 'I used to be alone but now I am here on this board' class...

    Life is a roller coaster. Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!

  • TweetieBird
    TweetieBird

    Ditto to what Commie Chris said.

    I felt the way you did for years before I started doubting that it was the truth. I don't suffer from depression, but I do know what it's like to feel like you do not belong.

    I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone.

    "By doubting we come at truth" -Cicero

  • peterstride
    peterstride

    I still suffer from depression, a lot...and I've been out for 5 years. The strugle goes on...

    Peter Stride
    Toronto, Canada

  • Sunchild
    Sunchild

    {{{troubled}}}

    You're not alone. You have thousands of friends who you don't even know, and you've come to the right place to find them.

    I've been through the "depression thang" myself (it lasted for years, and I still have problems sometimes), and I know how it can make you feel as though life is ugly and meaningless. But if you stick it out, things DO eventually get better. And... I also know from experience how JW life can often make it worse.

    Just remember that you're not alone, and while I don't know how much help I could be, you're welcome to drop me a line anytime. My e-mail addy is [email protected]

    Feel better,

    *Rochelle.

    ---------
    http://www.dreamsphere.net/ -- See it, live it, wear it.
    "Most men complacently accept 'knowledge' as 'truth'. They are sheep, ruled by fear."
    -- Sydney Losstarot, "Vagrant Story."

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    troubled,

    You are in the Company of some very good and helpful people. Perhaps one day I shall be one of them! I can add nothing to the fine advice and encouragement already offered, except to encourage you not to let those bastards in your religion to get the best of you anymore.

    : I want to serve Jehovah, but something's not right anymore, and I can't figure out how to make it right.

    Watchtower-Talk. Why in the world would the God of Gods, the Creator of the entire universe, galaxies, solar systems, zillions of angels and all other living things need to be "served" by his very own puny and pitiful human children? What kind of "service" could we possibly give a GOD? The whole dub-idea of "serving God" is so absurd it borders on total insanity. What kind of a God would have such a huge and mean ego that he would require us to spend our few pathetic decades in life devoted to serving HIM?

    The WTS has sold you a pile of doo-doo. Any God worth being a God not only wouldn't want to be served, he would probably be sad that humans thought they had to do it in order to keep Him from killing them.

    The only service JWs give is service to their Gods in Brooklyn, and their Gods in Brooklyn have convinced them that by selling their literature, they are serving "God." Rubbish!

    Farkel

  • Pierced Angel
    Pierced Angel

    You're not alone, we're all just not able to give you a real hug like we'd do if we could meet in person.
    Keep posting and sharing and soon you won't feel quite so alone anymore. Don't give up on your husband, he may come around, maybe sooner than you think.
    I don't know if it helps, but I never really felt like I fit in at my hall. Since my husband never attended I felt like I was sort of left out of the loop. I never went out in service more than 5 hours a month, so that kind of made me a "spiritually weak" person in everyone's eyes as well.
    Don't let their "conditional" love make you feel bad. Many witnesses don't know how to treat someone who is depressed and many times make them feel worse because of the judgmental tone of their so called "encouragement". You can always post here, we'll listen and be here for you.

    Anne

    "Too much of a good thing, is wonderful."

    Mae West

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