by love2Bworldly 10 Replies latest jw experiences
I need some feedback on a delicate matter. My non-JW father is going to be 87 years old in a few months. In the event of him passing away, I'm worried my JW sister will take over the funeral arrangements with a JW talk and all that. The rest of my family--I have 2 other siblings--have never been JWs.
Should I ask my Dad if he wants a Methodist funeral like he had for my mother?
yes, get the information in writing ahead of time so that there is no JW witnessing altering what your dad's wishes are.
What a good child you are to watch out for your parent's needs.
Joy
I don't know how to advise, but what I do find bizarre is that if you are not a baptised witness you cant get married at the kingdomhall by an elder so why is it they permit funerals. It wouldn't be because its an excellent opportunity to recruit vulnerable grieving family would it?
I think it depends on how fragile your dad is right now. If he's fairly mentally agile then you could bring it up casually in conversation. Ask him what he's put in his will for his funeral and if he hasn't mention your concerns and ask him what he would like and if thats what he wants help him to amend his will accordingly.
At 87, I'm sure your father knows exactly what he wants...so tactfully discuss it with him. You did not indicate where he lives, whether it is a nursing home, at his own home or with you or one of your siblings. It would be a good idea to make his wishes know to all of the family and have his caregivers contact you before anyone else. My father at 74 made the decisions regarding his burial, so that my mother and sister (both still practicing JW's) couldn't step in and change things, he put them in writing and made sure we all had copies!
Good luck! It's hard enough to loose a parent without having to worry about what arguments you might have to face before you can lay them to rest.
I'd find out, too, what legal paperwork is necessary. My liberal, athiest grandmother who had nothing but contempt for the wts, was given a witness funeral because her survivors were witnesses. She would have spit at them! I'm sure she left some kind of directions, but they had their way, anyway.
btw, Welcome Carol!
Yes, I think you should,get in writing, all done legally. At his age, 87, you may find out he already has something in writing, most people do. I think it would be a real shame if your jw sister would to have a jw funeral when your father passes. Of course, we all have our obvious feelings, and reasons why we dont like the idea.. But all that aside, he was not a jw. It's just that simple.
Just a note, no matter your age but especially if you are from a mixed family (JW or non-JW), have your funeral wishes in writing and as legally binding as you can make it. Select someone who will follow your wishes and at least one back up. Accidents do happen, heart attacks strike without much warning.
Blondie
If possible, have an attorney draw up some funeral/burial instructions and have your father's signature notarized or witnessed.
Purza
Ask him. Put his wishes in writing and then you'll have the power to execute them.
Otherwise, yes, your sister may take over with the whole JW funeral customs.
DY
Thanks for all the responses! He purchased a burial plot years ago, so I think I will talk to him this weekend. Have a great 4th of July!
