by pratt1 36 Replies latest jw experiences
My wife is begining to bow to the pressure of her mother and is now considering bring the child to grandma's and not tell her sister, who is vehemetly against it.
You can guarantee the sister will find out - 4 year old child excited to see mummy after a little holiday and will tell her all about everything she did, including the lady we went to see who said she was Grandma !
I hope you can talk you wife out of it as it will hurt her in the long run
I should go with what you know is right.
Children are precious and should be looked after, kept safe from bad influences as much as possible.
If your wife wants to create a rift in the trust she presently enjoys with her sister, then by all means take the 4 year old to visit Grandma. I can almost guarantee that it will be the last time you see that little girl for a very long time.
My husband was announced as DAd (we didn't find out about it for almost a year) and word got back to my JW relatives who promptly informed me that hubby was no longer welcome in their home. This family - me, my husband and our children - is a package deal. If one member isn't welcome then the rest of us, out of respect for my husband and the father of our children, refuse to visit the JW relatives. If they want to see the children, they will have to do so with both parents present, and anyone who tries any underhanded means to facilitate a meeting between my JW relatives and my children will find themselves in the line of fire of Scully's wrath.
Honestly, your wife has no business getting involved in a situation that her mother created of her own volition. Your MIL should understand that this was her decision and she has to live with the consequences of that decision.
I would talk to your wife about the Golden Rule...Do unto others.
Would she feel happy if the situation was reversed and someone took her child to see someone who speaks badly about her?
This is just a bad situation for everyone.
Your wife sounds reasonable - I hope she will do the right thing.
sounds like it wouldnt remain secret.. the kid will probably go home and tell mom that she learned God's name and she cant wait to play with animals in paradise.....(you know the grandma will slip some witnessing in on the kid)
if it were my child..and i let her stay with relatives for 2 weeks.....and those relatives took her somewhere that they KNEW i wouldnt want her to go........those relatives would never ever get that child again...... i dont play those kind of games with my child's life and i doubt that your sis in law will either.
Thanks for the input.
Over the last few years there has been many breaches of trust amongst my in laws, almost all of the incidents, some how revolved around the "troof". I believe that my wife hopes that this will motivate my MIL to re-evaluate her position on shunning her daughter and her family and somehow they can begin to act like a real family.
I have my doubts about that outcome and I do believe that my wife's actions will definitely destory her relationship with her sister.
I will talk with her at the right time over the next few days and hopefully the adage" Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." will resonant with her.
Thanks for you advice.
As long as your sister-in-law has made it clear that she does not want her daughter to see her grandmother, you must abide by that. If grandma wants to see her, she will have to ask that daughter for permission.
You risk having you and your wife cut off from any contact with your niece.
I would feel betrayed if my sister and brother in law did that.
Blondie
Grandparents should only have the privilege to meet their grandchildren through the parents. It's a complete package.
Hopefully, your wife and you will agree on this. Otherwise, it's further damaging relationships.
DY
I think you need to take the firm approach w. your wife and tell her you can't support what she's thinking of doing.
If she has the trust of her sister, to keep the little one for 2 weeks, that will be History. You can bet the sister
will feel betrayed, angry, hurt, etc. It is not right to step in the middle of it like she wants to do. It will create
bad feelings that will only escalate. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
AuntieJ
Unfortunately if your wife insists on doing this I would be compelled to advise your sister in law if I were in your situation.
I would be more than compelled to advise my sister-in-law. And I would do it at an unsuspecting time so the wifey isn't already mad about it.
