When my oldest child was about three we were in a kingdom hall with quite a few kids. My son was frequently brought to the back room, not for a spanking, but to stretch his legs and take a break. Later diagnosed with ADHD, he could not sit quietly if his life depended on it.
Every meeting we would frequently pass little Matthew with his mommy on the way to their latest spanking session. Matthew was all boy, rambunctious and teasing and all over the room wanting to tell everyone his latest knock-knock joke. He was full of spirit and a handful at the meetings. He would always wink at the people behind them when his mother wasn’t watching.
The brothers and sisters would roll their eyes each time he was carried screaming down the isle for another readjustment. They would pat his mother on the arm and say, “I know it’s hard, but just stick to your guns and he’ll learn”, while she sighed and nodded.
Of course it didn’t help that the only other boy his age besides mine was Toby, a blue-eyed, blonde, angelic child who could easily sit, hands clasped on his lap, eyes forward, for two hours. Toby also supposedly took copious notes during the talks and had his own magazine route. I suppose being compared to Toby didn’t make it any easier for poor little Matthew.
Matthew’s mother was single and had a handful of other children also. She finally caught the eye of a younger man, childless, inexperienced, and they married. The brothers immediately counseled him on taking the lead in disciplining the children. The mother was so relieved to have help in dealing with such an incorrigible child. Now it was the new dad’s turn to take Matthew to the back during the meetings. And things began to change.
Within a couple months Matthew was brought to the back much less. He was learning to sit quietly and not run around before and after the meetings. We sat directly behind Matthew’s family one Sunday and waited for him to wink at me. He never turned around. He spent the meeting looking at his hands. Once his mother handed him a notepad and a pencil, and he took them without looking up and started drawing. New dad whispered something in mom’s ear and she turned around and grabbed the pad and paper back and put them in her purse. Matthew didn’t protest, didn’t even look up, just went back to staring at his hands.
I watched him when the meeting was over. He stood right by the side of either parent, taking a step when they did. He didn’t respond when the brothers and sisters patted him on the head and told him what a good boy he’s become. We moved and faded soon after that so I don’t know whatever became of Little Matthew.
You hear about children having their spirits broken, but it’s a sad sad thing to watch.
Just to point out to any active witnesses, child development experts say that a child can’t be expected to sit quietly for an hour until they are about seven years old. They’re not being bad, they just aren’t able to sit through an entire meeting. Spanking them doesn’t help them develop faster, it just makes everyone miserable and ensures they will hate the meetings.