Many Stay As JWs Because Of Social & Family Contacts (page 3)

bonnzo

minimus

i think you can read hearts! its the only reason. being raised a JW, i don't have any friends or family(that i give a s... about) that aren't JW's

I can only speak for myself, but i truly believed it to be the truth when i was a JW, ive only learnt differently since i left. However I can imagine so may people staying and being unhappy because of the reason above.

blondie

I was a true believer and thought there were just a few bad apples soon to be removed by God. But after many years and many congregations seeing the unloving words and actions by too many, I realized that relationships with God were through individuals not organizations. I saw that people's loyalty was to a human organization not to God and the basic human expectations of being treated in love. I realized that family and so-called friends did not really love anyone, there were too many conditions. I learned to protect myself from the sexual and emotional abuse and verbal abuse from my family and so-called friends by limiting my association. When I realized how much better I felt, it was easier to take that final step to protect myself from spiritual abuse.

Do they really love you?

Blondie

XBEHERE

Yes I would mostly agree with that statement. The family is the reason I didn't walk away 3 years ago and never look back. This is a controlling, damaging cult that coerces you to stay for the reasons you mentioned.

homesteader

most definetly. at first i thought it was the truth but after the 1914 generation changing and issues on blood i knew it wasn't. i had made what i thought were very good friends and it finally dawned on me that i couldn't stay in this religion for them. that wasn't fair to myself or God. When my family member were df'd i found out how conditional their love was. they quit associating with me also. their loved even became more conditional when i started thinking for myself. i've made so many wonderful friends outside the org. the one thing that is different is that the relationships have boundaries. sometimes it feels like the depth of 'love' is lacking, but in retrospect the relationships are healthier. not all that codependency stuff. no one (except my hubby) knows every detail of my life and i like it that way.

RichieRich

Yep. Still in for mom's sake (temporarily). Consider me a sell out...

Ellie

I know for a fact that the reason my mother is a witness is for the social life, also because she can say she is ill and all of a sudden she has a que of sisters lineing up to do her shopping, cleaning, ironing and cooking.

She advised me once to carry on studying so that I could get help looking after my daughter while my partner was away.

And as for my older brother, he might not be a witness for selfish reasons but he does stick around for the social life.

Thats just a couple of examples of people I know.

LouBelle

it's the pressure of leaving - rather the enemy you know than the one you don't hey. Most witnesses only have witness friends, can't be bothered to put themselves under that kinda thing. Rather stay in an organisation and just nod their head in agreement plodding along, pretty much breaking rules if they feel like it...as long as they dont leav the borg.

G Money

Also they stay for help from family in a financial way as most are undereducated and some sisters need help for their disabled kids they gave birth to when waek in the turth. The fathers are usually druggies, gang members, abusers, in jail, etc. They cannot survive without family help so they are inessence forced to remain in the org.

LongHairGal

GaryBuss:

I can't believe you put up with so much abuse! Your story almost reminds me of a single sister years ago who was always wanted as a "chaperone" (don't you love it) for young couples courting. But when these people finally got married and had get togethers she was forgotten like yesterday's garbage! She's out many years now. But I must admit, your story tops hers.

I observed all these and other things there and was determined that I would not do favors for anybody there. I did a few but they were minor. Years ago, some nervy sister told me "you don't give of yourself" (she's right). I told her: well, I don't feel like being taken advantage of. She was a divorcee who wanted the young girls in the congregation to do babysitting and other favors for her. And what did she give in return? Oh, she made some plantains in the oven - big deal. What did that set her back? Maybe a few bucks. But she got back more from the friends.

I got sick to my stomach from this and other sorts of exploitation.

Many Stay As JWs Because Of Social & Family Contacts