1. Paranoia(sp). Are JW's generally paranoid? ... My GF likes to make broad sweeping generalisations such as: Police, pollies, journos, are ALL corrupt.
Yes, they believe the entire world system is corrupt and that is why they say gawd is coming to destroy the entire system and replace wth gawd's system, which is FEAR. Twsted ... I know. These fear-based beliefs keep the members under control. Fear is a paralyzer.
2. Materialism. This is something that I have a real problem with. IF armageddon(sp) is coming why then do they (from what I've seen) buy Prestige cars, big houses, large screen TV's. My ...I can find no other word for it but GREED.
They want to impress on everyone that they are "blessed" and can afford their lavish lifestyles. What no one says is that most dubs are in debt up to their eyeballs and they think they will never have to pay back their debt because armageddon is coming and their debts will be wiped out. Pure Greed in my books too.
3. Us/them. Why do they denounce the outside world but are OK deriving an income, accessing welfare/health system, etc. If anything wordly is demonic shouldn't they be living more like the amish.
They denounce everything/everyone who is not dub, but use it. They base it on a scripture about using the world but not to the full. They just don't get the "not to the full" part... lol.
4. Mental Health. My GF mum had a nervous breakdown 20 or so years ago.
I'm not surprised ... lots of breakdowns in the dub world. I've had a few myself simply from trying to be supermom and superwife to an alcoholic. I was an enabler for his alcoholism.
I asked my GF if her mum got counselling she said no and alluded that was frowned upon in the church.
Therapy is frowned upon. They believe that only the bible is needed. They base that on a scripture in Timothy which says "All scripture is inspired of gawd and beneficial ... for setting things straight." What the dubs fail to say is that they use their own publications to counsel.
There is a history of depression in the family. My girlfriend has been depressed on and off for nearly 10 years (diagnosed, since day dot if you ask me) and she never got counselling.
When I sought counselling, I was told, "Anyone looking behind the plough is not well suited for the Kingdom of Gawd." They made me feel guilty for remembering my sexual abuse... like I had control of my memories...
My theory is that there is a history of depression in the church.
Yes, there is a history of depression in the jws ... because it is a FEAR-based religion full of rules that no one can measure up to. It results in low self-esteem and feeling "not good enough". Depression is the result because members are disempowered personally. They give all their power over to their leaders in whatever form that takes (husband, elders, etc.)
What about the suicide rate, does anyone have any figures.
I don't have figures, I do know there is a high suicide rate in the dubs, mostly with ones who have left the borganization. I personally know of two people who killed themselves after leaving. The religion isolates members so they have no friends outside the borganization. So when someone gets into trouble, they have no where to turn because they have no network of help outside the borg. They feel desperate with no where to turn, and this leads to suicide. The other thing is that the religion teaches members not to trust anyone outside the borg (friends are worldly ... doctors and therapists just want to turn you against gawd ... blah blah.)
5. Sex. My GF wasn't a virgin when she met me. Even though she has had sex she still feels guilty for feeling horny and NEVER masturbates. She told me it doesn't do anything for her so can't be bothered. However a few questions later I got to the root of the cause. If she gets the urge to 'pat the pussy' she feels incredibly dirty and it stops. So as you can tell her libido is quite low.
Yes, she sounds like she needs a lot of counselling before she could ever have a "normal" sex life. She sounds like she has a MOUNTAIN of guilt to overcome. The fact that the guilt is in her so deeply means that she does believe the jw bu**shite, to a certain degree, even if she denies it. If she really examined her core beliefs, she would discover that a lot of them came from dubland. She needs a lot of therapy with someone who knows how to deal with high-control, fear-based cults.
6. The role of women. ... woman has to be 'submissive' to her husband but how submissive?
As submissive as her "husband" requires. She is not allowed to question anything, she becomes a robot for her husband. He can abuse her, insult her, make outrageous, cruel demands on her. She is indeed fortunate if her man is caring and nurturing, and lives a life of terror if he is demanding.
7. End of Days (not the shithouse Arnie flick). If its all over soon (when exactly soon is a bit general) why: have kids, have a life, even bother.
They have been predicting the "end" time and time again. It is another high-control, fear-based method of keeping the masses submissive. They are "encouraged" not to have children "in this old system". The less $ that is spent on family, the more can be given to the WTS.
8. Sport and dangerous shit.
Supposed to "go in service, knock on doors, not waste time engaging in useless pastimes." Give money to the WTS, not spend on boats, motorcycles, whatever. Human-ness gets the better of members at times, thus the boats, luxury cars, etc.
9. Disfellowed members. ...sisters wedding (not the reception though), works for his dad, sees his grandparents and my GF's mum still talks to him. Shouldn't they be brushing him off? Can't that get them DFed for talking to him.
If a member does not "properly shun" a DF'd member, they are subject for DF'ing themselves. It is another fear-based belief that rips families apart. My mom was df'd and I got a threatening letter from an elder in her congregation, when she came to visit me. Like they have spies who knew she came to visit. I was "scared and guilted" into submitting to shunning her, or lose my status. I taught my kids, by my own example, to shun me now that I'm df'd.
Life in dubland ... *sigh*
It took me three years of therapy to leave my husband, six years of therapy to leave the religion, and nine years in total to "start" to feel "normal". The only reason I was "allowed" to have therapy was because I had a "worldly" husband who permitted it. He like me to be in therapy, because then he could point and say I was the sick one.
I have been disfellowshipped set free for six years.
I dance three times a week now!
Love
ESTEE
