Apologies for JW shunning

by greendawn 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    You disassociated or got disfellowshipped and the JWs were shunning you. But then some of them went down the same road as you later.

    Did they then approach you as ex-JWs and apologise for the way they had treated you, and what exactly did they have to say?

  • minimus
    minimus

    I'd like to take the opportunity to say, I apologize for any that I judged and shunned.

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    I'd like to take the opportunity to say, I apologize for any that I judged and shunned that didn't deserve to be judged and shunned.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Here, Here!

    I've only been actively shunned once so far. I enjoyed it in a demented, sick sorta way.

    I shunned many in my time. To them I am very, very sorry.

    So far I've been lucky enough that they havent held this against me. My baby sister took the iniative to seek me out. Im glad she did because I was afraid that I didnt deserve to be forgiven by her. The same is true of a dear cousin of mine. Both took the time to find me and try to begin our relationships a new.

    I am thankful to tears for this.

  • toladest
    toladest

    I haven't met up with anyone I know that used to be dubs and are now ex dubs. I have been on the other side though. My best friend growing up never got baptized and although I never completely shunned her I treated her as "bad association" even though everything inside me told me she was a really good person that did not deserve it. When I was told by the elders that they were setting up a judicial meeting for me on charges of apostacy just for questioning them, the first thing I did was to call my former best friend. She totally accepted me and helped me through the entire process. She did NOT try to tell me I should not be a JW. She just supported me and gave me someone to talk to. She showed unconditional love despite the way I had been treating her for YEARS! I will never forget that. She made me see that there were "worldly" people that were actually a lot more loving than JW's. But I also know that JW's THINK they are being "loving" by shunning. They believe that it will make a person want to come back in Jehovah's WTS's favor and it will save their lives. For this reason, I will never treat anyone that once shunned me badly if they chose to leave the WTS and want forgivness.

    Thank you Chris P.

  • zagor
    zagor

    I'd like to take the opportunity to apologize for any bullshit I've put Dfd people through because of listening to bullshit

  • Voyager
    Voyager

    Me too! I would like to apologize to (anyone) that I judged or shunned, or (anyone) at all that I did (not) treat with the respect and love they deserved! I am very sorry!

  • zeroday
    zeroday

    After 23 years of shunning my cousin for adultery committed in the early 80's. We meet in 2004 at a mutual family funeral. Although we were over 2000 miles apart for most of that time. I ran into her and her husband and immediately my defences went up. "I MUST NOT TALK TO THESE ONES". Then suddenly something happened that has never happened before my life in JWdom. I looked at them not as ones DF'ed rather as people. My father lingered on another 10 days before dying and in that time I began to reacesses myself. I could no longer hate my cousin. and on the night after the funeral I walked up to her and kissed her and asked for forgiveness for the hurt I had caused her for the past 23 years. To my suprise she forgave me and approximately 14 months later I DA'ed my self and have never looked back.

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    I want t o say this,

    Whatever I do to others nay they do the same unto me. I have unfortuantely like all of you shunned disfellowshipped one and if I could take it back in a heartbeat I would.

    My best friend dissassociated herself in 1993, and it killed me, I cried for days and way literally sick for months afterward.s I saw her a few times over the years but shunned her. I hated it, but did it. And in 1999 when I was disfellowshipped we got back together and our lives have carried on as if time were a heartbeat away. She is loyal and loving and very forgiving and I am grateful she never held it against. She told me in the letter she gave me in 1993 that she loved me and was sorry she had to leave the organization for self preservation, and now I know what she meant. I love you Diane.

    never judge another until you've walked in there sandals.

    Orangefatcat.

  • jimakazi
    jimakazi

    One of my firends was DF'd many years ago [OK heaps were], and while I would still say hi [in passing] we didn't have anything to do with her and over the years lost contact.

    I decided to look her up the other day and found that it was too late - she had died of cancer a few years earlier. Her brother [also DF'd] apparently has cancer. I am now trying to locate him.

    I am now determined to find out what happend to all my old DF'd friends.

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