by noidea 22 Replies latest jw friends
I've talked with many who were very much aware of the inner workings of the organization but kept the blinders on for whatever personal or family reason, even misguided loyalty.
What helped them and me was Jim Penton's "Apocalypse Delayed," a book I cannot recommend highly enough. Maximus recommends it regularly to those for whom CofC would not be a revelation.
It puts the organization in perspective to the world around us. I found it very, very satisfying and liberating.
Jerry
Hi Jerry,
I'm reading "Apolcalypse Delayed" currently. Penton has a fine writing style - much like Ray Franz. A quiet, middle of the road approach.
His history of Russell, Rutherford, and Knorr (that's how far I am) is really good. Not just all the dirt - but some balanced things too.
Gives an overall look to the jw history, because the WTBTS was definitely shaped by the presidents and their staff. Doubt if God had much to do with it.
I've read C of C also, after coming onto the net. Bought it through Randy Watters at Freeminds. Lord, I felt soooooo nervous - I called and spoke with Randy - a livin' breathin' apostate! Good thing he was nice to me, I'm sure he could hear my voice breaking and the stuttering. What a dork I was........
Interestingly, my daughter had C of C about 5 years ago. I was at her apartment and saw it, flipped through it - and had absolutely no interest in it, found it quite boring. She asked me if I'd look up some information for her in refuting his claims, I said I would - but made no effort to do so.
I think my jw defense mechanism went into overdrive. Never thought about it again - till I typed in "Jehovah's Witnesses" on the search engine.
The rest of the story is a common thread now - that's all we needed.
waiting
befor..........
Never read any of these. I've got a lot of reading to do, I can't wait to see what Mr. Franz had to say!
Thanks everyone... Jon
The coffin was made, filled, nailed shut, buried, corpse already long rotted to bone dust, by the time I read CofC...it served as a nice grave marker for my cult life though...
I left because I just couldn't pretend that crap was 'truth' any more. It all seemed to me to defy logic and common sense. They told me my heart was treacherous and my 'critical thinking' was dangerous; my mind & heart screamed at me that no group as arrogant, smug, and superstitious could possibly be God's Sole Channel of Communication. It was a moral dilemma, and took me a long time to figure out. I eventually went with my moral imperative, and bailed out. Best thing I ever did, despite the residual cult fear & guilt, which vanished as I replaced them with accurate information.
Years later I found the internet and the factual evidence to confirm all my suspicions. CofC was just part of that confirmation.
Life is much better since I jettisoned the whole 'imaginary skydaddy' scenario and joined the real world. No guilt, no cult fear; just life, unvarnished. Clean & simple.
Reading COC put me through all the emotions of death of a close friend. But no one can be healthy putting off legitimate grief. However, the process began long before last winter when I got the book.
After being assigned the service meeting part for the November 1999 Km insert, I gave the talk but felt sick to my stomach. I had already been lurking on H2O and could see the WT boys were trying to hide something. I was convinced by the internet that, at least, there was something terribly wrong with this organization. I hung on until another ex-Bethel friend came to visit. We both complained about the way things were. He told me he was going to get Ray’s books, and to pray for him. I told him if he meant pray that he does not leave the organization after reading them it was going to take more than prayer. This was 7 months ago and we are both out, just attend occasionally for the families.
What this boils down to is I think most loyal dubs avoid COC and the web not because they believe everything they hear form the society, many don’t. They don’t like what they are seeing but they see NOWHERE ELSE TO GO. I had to loose most of my faith in the organization before I would allow myself to break with loyalty to it and open my eyes and ears. I first did that with the net, but Crisis of Conscience was the “nail in the coffin” for me too. I and my wife are immeasurably grateful to you all but especially Ray Franz. Now we have finished Search for Freedom, both Carl Olof Jonsson’s books and looking forward to Pentons’s work.
Jst2laws
Amazing,
I forget to mention your remarks:
"When I read In Search of Christian Freedom 2 years later, I saw that the issue was not 'where else to go' but to whem to go to, that being Jesus Christ, and not an organization."
If I got nothing else from COC, that thought was enough. This internet and the WT's own publications would have finished my faith in the organization, Ray convinced me it was OK to leave because I already had all I needed, all God required, FAITH AND LOVE.
Jst2laws
I still remember the day I had that book in my hands. I shook. Just the name "governing body member" on the dismal gray cover unnerved me. You see, at that moment, I had left "it" all behind me and had even done a 12-step (inventory) list of my past resentments. I had my mom as number one, male doctors, govt officials, and a host of other authoritive people listed. Yet, I could never pinpoint the resentments I felt about mmy life in the tower. So I left "it" alone. And I'm guessing by my physical, spiritual, emotional and mental reaction to having that book in my hands with "gb memb" on it....well, things have never been the same since.
Even though Mr. Franz put this out there for the world to read. It is MY opinion, and perhaps my opinion only, that more could have been done with that book at that time. There is no need for further elaboration, as it is only my STRONG opinion. It certainly won't change until I see him NOW taking action.
I do express appreciation that he wrote it, at least.
sKally, "VERY APOSTATE" klass
sKally,
Hi-
I had serious doubts about the organization before I read anything by a former JW. When I read Ray's two books, I thought he was exaggerating until I looked up his references and realized that he was not.
I would say Ray's books confirmed much of what I had already suspected.
Jeff S.
Thank you everyone for your replies.
I went as far as going to the library to check it out, they didn't have it. I haven't ordered it yet because deep down I too know it will be the nail in the coffin. I don't know what will hurt more, knowing or not knowing. It just seems too simple to just have faith and love. What about all the commands we are given? (letting the good news be know, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together)
did that all end with the first century Christians? I have no loyalty to the org. I don't think I ever have. Maybe if they weren't in the picture I may have not done so many stupid things out of spite. I feel a great loss, not for the org. but for my life and so many things lost. You guy's are great. Thanks for posting.
