Okay, I'm new as you all probably know, so my question may have been discussed several times in the past. I'm just curious as to when some of you came to the conclusion that enough was enough and that you didn't want to attend the meetings anymore or not be a JW. Was it in field service, at home, at the hall? Was it real dramatic and caused people's eyes to pop out? Was it because some brother or sister got on your nerves? Was cursing involved or did a fight break out causing WatchTowers and Awakes to fly everywhere? And if you want to, you could even tell me some of the immediate changes you made after leaving. For instance, if I ever left, I'd probably get a goatee, dye my hair some wild blonde color, and then gather up a list of all the girls I wanted to get with while I was a JW but never did.
What was your breaking point?
by soundbox_guy 46 Replies latest jw friends
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dh
Right around 2 Kings 2:23-24
23. And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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greendawn
It was the lack of real warmth and brotherly love and the dictatorial style of rule by the GB where you couldn't make even the least constructive criticism due to the really stupid "new light in its due time" dogma.
There is no such thing as a due future time for accepting elementary truths you have to accept them right away. -
Euphemism
I was always one of the serious dubs... very heavy into doctrine. At first, when I found errors or inconsistencies, I figured they would eventually get cleared up. But as I found more and more problems, it became harder and harder to keep it all together.
The last straw was when I read Ray Franz's book Crisis of Conscience. Ray spoke about 'the myth of the organization'; how many Witnesses hang on, even when they disagree with the religion, because they believe that they need an 'organization'. I realized that was exactly what I was doing, and that I didn't want to do it anymore.
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katiekitten
It was when I realised even though King Solomon could shag 1000 women (300 wives and 700 concubines) and god still loved him, that I couldnt shag 1000 men, in fact I couldnt even have a measly 30 or 40, not even a humble 7 or 8.So one of the first changes I made when I left was to up my average a bit.
EDITED TO INCLUDE: sorry thats not half way as meaningful as the post above, but its true.
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Bonnie_Clyde
It was the lack of love when my mother was suffering from Alzheimers and also broke two of her legs in separate incidents. During a grueling 7-year ordeal we got very little help from the congregation. The elders particularly were noted for not even stopping by to say hello to my father (also an elder) or to give encouragement. The only encouragement was when my father managed to get to a meeting. Of course, the rule is that the family is expected to help out. That turned out to be me as the rest of the family had no interest.
One day my Dad sat at the table with tears in his eyes because he had so few visitors. He also commented that carloads of publishers would go by, visit the houses of the neighbors next door or across the street, but didn't bother to stop in and see him or my mother. He also commented that one day at the book study the conductor asked about arrangements for service that week. My Dad raised his hand and said, "I could be a special pioneer several times over if I could count the time caring for my wife." I asked if anyone volunteered to come over to watch mother so he could go out in service. He said, No.
Those to incidents really opened by eyes. It was 1998 and I remembered the previous year there was an article about caregiving, and I thought, Why is no one following the counse?l. Then I remember, it has been a year. What is the gist of all the meetings, especially the service meeting. No arrangements to visit or care for the sick and afflicted. Just peddle magazines. I thought, so that the is the only concern we have is to save our own skin. No real concern for others in the congregation.
Well get this! After my mother died, the congregation came forward with all kinds of sympathy and caring. Suddenly my brother and daughter became interested in my father's care because it became known that he had more money than he let on. Reports were being given to my father that I was missing meetings and service (how does a person work full time and do all the work I did helping my father take care of my mother and keep up the activity?). Last summer my daughter and son-in-law came back from the DA, and the subject of 1975 came up and how there were actually brothers who sold their homes and property because they thought Armageddon was coming. How foolish! It hit a nerve and I told them that the Kingdom Ministry in 1974 had actually suggested that people sell their homes and property. Up until then, I never made a negative comment of any kind, and I never have since. (I also made a a brief comment about Sodom and Gomorrah and Voting). This information was conveyed to my father. He was told that I had disagreed with the faithful and discreet slave (which I had not). I saw the change almost immediately. Within a week my father turned against me. So did my daughter and son-in-law. My Dad demanded back a monetary gift that he gave me for helping him care for my mother, and he ended up giving his house to my daughter and selling a rental house that he owned for less than half of the assessed value to my son-in-law's parents who he had only known briefly. (My daughter has only been married two years but my new son-in-law seems to have a lot of influence on my Dad). I don't know yet whether the will has been changed but will find out eventually.
The irony of all this is that, first of all, my father's treatment is what caused me to come to my breaking point, but he turned against me because of it. The second piece of irony is that I was the person who influenced my father to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses in the first place, and I was the person who caused by daughter to become the fanatical JW that she is.
It all comes back to roost.
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luna2
What greendawn said, minus the criticism part. I never criticized anything out loud. LOL
I was just unhappy and felt like I'd been jerked around. I would try so hard to live up to all the implied counsel from the WTS (ie...don't let your kids do anything outside of JW-approved activities, keep an eagle eye on association, don't plan to send your kids or yourself to college, don't bother to get a good job, don't worry about retirement....blah, blah, drone, blah), only to see, as time went on, other JW's with great jobs, new cars and homes, kids going to college, nice new clothes, taking vacations every year, etc. I felt like a real dunce, like I should have known better than take that slop in the mags seriously.
Then we got the new light about the 1914 generation and I felt like the ground was shifting under my feet. I was tired of meetings, tired of service and tired of trying to live up to some impossible ideal...so I stopped going.
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greendawn
What Bonnie said about the heartless character of the JW organisation is typical not an exception to the rule, and it shows that the environment in this org is very strained and unnatural, people are here because they fear the big A and want to grab eternal life, not for real christian love or compassion and that creates a very poor and unsatisfactory atmosphere.
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clementine
this subject may have been discussed several times before, but i find it very interesting... i don't have a breaking point on my own as i've never been a dub...
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stopthepain
I didn't really snap,they just wore me down physically, mentally,and emotionaly.After which I just slowly got more and more f*cked up.