Buying Xmas & Birthday Cards

chris1525

Do any of you find it easier buying porn than buying a birthday card?

I have been 'out' for apprx 12 years now and it still feels naughty buying xmas and birthday cards.

Until recently, I would have still called myself a JW...inactive, but still a member. I'm having a hard time with holiday/birthday stuff myself. My problem right now is telling my non-JW family members (which is everybody. I'm the only one dumb enough to have become a JW) that I'm not one any more. It's embarassing to have to admit that I was duped. I was so sure, you know? So, until I find the courage to tell them I'm done with the Witlesses, I'm still avoiding holiday stuff. Maybe next year.

edited to say that I still can't buy porn. Cards would be much easier to buy for me. LOL

Sunspot

have been 'out' for apprx 12 years now and it still feels naughty buying xmas and birthday cards.

Chris!!!!

You are LONG overdue! There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about when buying well wishes for whatever holiday you choose to honor! I was "in" 30 years, and it felt GREAT to be able to feel like a member of the human race once again. The hard part is trying to make up my mind which cards to pick out!

The first time I went to pick out cards, I felt a tingle of a mix of rebelliousness and excitement of going back into the real world!

GO FOR IT!

As for the porn, I don't have an interest in looking at it or buying it. But if I did-----I'd have every right to buy whatever *I* choose to. Simple as that.

It's embarassing to have to admit that I was duped. I was so sure, you know?

Luna,

It took me two years before I realized that indulging in holiday festivities was okay. Those cobwebs in the mind are hard to sweep out. The first year I'd hide the wrappings/bows/cards under other stuff in the cart so anyone walking by couldn't see what I was buying! (Can you believe that??)

Then I got more sure of myself the next year and proudly SHOWED what I was buying and kept it on top of the other purchases for ALL to see. I was so proud of myself. Big step. Only an exJW could understand this.

I was very embarrassed in front of my relatives too. The first year I sent out cards (and only cards that year) my grown kids were actually offended and it started a big nasty mess that took months to sort out and smoothe ruffled feathers. *I* was willing to put the JW experience behind me by then---but they weren't. It was a case of "NOW you decide to do ths after raising us as JWs all those years" and the sparks of resentment FLEW.

I was very hurt---cuz I was trying to work everything out on a common level (I knew all but one now celebrated Christmas) and they were willing to share this with each other but NOT wth me. I never expected their reaction. I thought they'd be tickled that I had done this. I'm glad to say that it HAS changed though.

The WTS police cannot run your lives any longer. Remember that. You will most likely be the recipients of those that DO cower to them, but they cannot have any direct control over you or what you choose to do with your lives.

Hugs to all of you that still have to live under the WTS cloud. I chose to leave'em in the dust and take the lumps. I could never stand living like I was walking on eggshells or having to look over my shoulder to see who might be lurking in the background. Life's too short to live this way, IMHO.

Annie

luna2

Maybe that's what I'm afraid of, Annie...getting a reaction like you got from your family. I did discuss it with my son almost as soon as I realized that the WTS isn't the only true anything. Fortunately he wasn't upset with me. That would have been devastating. I guess I just don't want to hear the "I told you so's" from my parents and my brother and sister. Humble pie is not a dessert I'm fond of. LOL

After reading your experiences, I'm thinking that I should write letters to my sibs and have a discussion with my parents before I suddenly start doing things again. Maybe that way I won't get too much of a negative reaction.

greendawn

The founder of this sect Russell celebrated Christmas and birthdays, then later you get the dumb jw reasoning: because birthdays are mentioned in a bad context in the Bible (Pharaoh, Salome) they have to be wrong. It's a very arbitrary kind of logic.

As for Christmas instead of seeing it as it is, an opportunity to learn something about the Christ and his coming to the world they prefer to label it as a pagan celebration.

Sunspot

After reading your experiences, I'm thinking that I should write letters to my sibs and have a discussion with my parents before I suddenly start doing things again. Maybe that way I won't get too much of a negative reaction.

I had no success in writing letters to my family, but that's MY family! Others have had much better results in doing it this way. You could call it a pre-emptive strike!

I wish you well in your next steps out of the horrible WTS. Freedom is so sweet.

hugs,

Annie

delilah

I was like you Sunspot...the first couple of years I'd hide the wrapping paper and bows under everything else in my cart, now I don't even think about it....although at easter I had my cart loaded with goodies and if there wasn't a witness family right beside me in the next teller.....I laughed my head off on the way out...who cares at this point??? But I only send cards to my family who were never JW's, and my brother, who is out...my parents know we celebrate, and they simply don't come 'round at holiday times...sad isn't it??? And I remember as a child when we did celebrate everything.....pre-JW days. I always missed the holidays and so it was a great relief to be able to enjoy them once again, and give my kids the fun they had missed out on in their early years.

Delilah (party on dude..)

delilah

Sorry, I don't know what the &wnsb thingy is all about....

katiekitten

My mum bought someone a birthday card years before me and her stopped being dubs, because she fancied him (talk about double standards - he was my age, and she was married) but shes NEVER bought me one, so ive never got her one.

I love getting all the chrismas stuff out, but I did find it hard at first, in fact I went abroad one year to avoid the whole issue. But im well into it now.

BTW - Chris welcome to the site, and HAPPY APOSTATE BIRTHDAY!

Netty

the first couple of years I'd hide the wrapping paper and bows under everything else in my cart, now I don't even think about it....

I used to hide everything too. Reminds me of this past X-mas, I was making little goodie bags for my sons classroom. The stuff was all spread out all over the table, candies, candie canes, little santa clauses, boes, ribbons, and my mom stopped by. I just kept right on doing what I was doing..

Buying Xmas & Birthday Cards

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