My JW Hubby ..... help please! I think he's about to break!

by sheshe 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    The JW religion is in fact a dangerous cult and you should all keep out of it, if your husband to be is inactive then he should just stay that way keep his distance from the cult, and on the other hand there is is no need to say things openly that will get him disfellowshipped if he dosn't want that.

  • Es
    Es

    welcome to the board! If your fiance is not D\F but just inactive i would leave it that way,if his family is still happy to talk to him then i wouldnt rock the boat. But the fact that he is slowly goin back and if he gets serious about it again well he may get D\F for the way his been living his life. Its a tough one and its tough for you it would be hard if he did want to go back and you dont want anything to do with it and believe me i so dont blame you. I was brought up in the truth and faded bout 3 years ago and i will agree with you you are doin the right thing with your son i basically left when my son was 6 months old as i didnt want to bring him up like i had. Hope this helps and keeps us posted es

  • sym
    sym

    I was inactive for about 3 or 4 years, had not seen anyone fromt he KH and somehow it became known that is was seeing a girl so three elders came round who i did not know and said i was going to be d/f'd - barstards - but hey i didnt care - what i am saying is that it is lucky he is not d/f'd if you and he have a kid and are not married. - getting married would sort it for them so he will not be d/f'd - as said before if he is starting to go back they will be taking an interest in him again.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Hi sheshe, and welcome. There are so many helpful websites out there. Here's mine in case you can find anything useful there. You will need to navigate to the "considering becoming a JW" section.

    In addition to your doctrinal issues, I would also suggest bringing up the UN NGO scandal (see link above). In fact, you may want to start out with the things I'm about to describe, then move to the doctrinal issues afterwards. These things are important because they prove to any JW who is willing to use just a smidge of logic that it is not God's organization. From that point, you can then challenge its doctrinal errors and troublesome policies.

    WTS has called the UN the prophecied evil beast of Revelation for years. It is quite significant that they joined up, went to the effort of maintaining their membership (submitted evidence of their continued support of the UN in the form of WTS literature so they could remain in the UN), then didn't bother to revoke their membership until their membership was announced in a newspaper article. If you are going that route, be sure to print out the actual UN documents and newspaper articles rather than summaries from "apostate web sites".

    There are also things such as the WTS owning military manufacturing stock, its anti-semetic/anti-american letter to Hitler, and its admonition to JWs to pray for a favorable outcome of WWI.

    Be v-e-r-y careful not to say too much at once or push him too much. If you do, you'll just cause him to run right back to the WTS with a newfound resolve to be a better JW. He will think Satan is trying to trick him and he'll get scared.

    Good luck (pagan saying, LOL)!

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    Hi there Sheshe - welcome. You should list exactly what it is you want to find out cos you can get so befuddled that one doesn't make sense.

    First thing - break the trust to the organisation - all JW's look to Brooklyen Bethels' Governing Body as Gods' channal on earth - SHATTER this belief. Show him by their own publications all their lies - especially in their prophesying certain things.....All the dates. Look back into Russells history, where he came from (Adventist & took some christadelphian beliefs) A very good book is Fast Facts on Jehovah Witnesses. Another good book is Jehovah Witnesses: Subject by Subject - the latter book tackles each belief with scriptual backing.

    Once you've broken the trust in them - it's pretty easy to show/reason with soon to be hubby on other things. Things like the 144 000 (if it's a literal number) Is the paradise literal (Rev 19: 1 & 6 says they are before the throne in heaven) The deity of Christ (need to get the greek version of the bible - The word is God) Slowly one by one you can shed the true light.

  • OldSoul
    OldSoul

    sheshe,

    We know so little about you and your story. Why don't you begin with the tale of how you found us?

    Respectfully,
    OldSoul

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Sheshe, I am a non-JW christian married to a JW. I took the leap first for love, and second because there are no family complications. His family is not JW, and my children are grown, out of the organization's grasp. If I have made a huge mistake, the consequences are all mine... little fallout.

    Sheshe, it is obvious you have faith in something. What keeps you connected to your beliefs? Did someone sit down with you and CONVINCE you using the bible? I can almost bet you believe in what you do more because of how you feel about it than for any logical reasoning.

    It is the same for your fiancee. There are all kinds of tangled reasons why he feels he cannot leave. Fear of death. Fear of disconnecting from the rest of his family. The dreaded fear that he has wasted his faith and loyalty on an organization that does not reciprocate his loyalty. You may study your little heart out, have the best arguments in the world, and you may still fail. Because it is not his intellect that binds him to the society.

    I only want to study those things that separate our religious believes (i.e. WT being God's organization, paradise earth, Jesus being godlike, 144,000, etc).

    Bad choice of subjects, sorry. The JW's have their verses all laid out in a little roadmap to trap the unwary. First a little trip in Matthew to trot out the FDS scripture, then a foray in to Revelation to limit the Heavenly Hope to the 144,000.

    How would you refute those two interpretations?

    1. The Faithful and Discreet Slave story was intended for all believers/Christian leaders, as an example to follow. It was never intended to establish a separate class of Christian.
    2. The 144,000 is a figurative number, just like the figurative seven candlestands.

    The both of you can go round and round the mulberry bush then, trying to prove the other's interpretation more correct. If you are committed, I suggest the following:

    Do a proper bible study. Read a single book in context to absorb the full meaning. Consider if the writer is providing instruction, prophesying, or providing a cautionary tale. Apply the scripture to modern-day. How did the writer intend for Christians to apply it to daily life? Check the full meaning by reading before and after. I suggest the book of Hebrews, for it's full description of the divinity of Christ. Also, beforehand, get him to commit whether the instructions and promises in this book apply to Christians today. There's lots of talk about heaven in that book. How can he claim none of those promises are for him?

    Much more effective than a bible study, however, is to learn how to talk through the cult-aspects of your husband's thinking directly your husband's soul. I strongly recommend Steven Hassan's "Combatting Cult Mind Control" You need to learn how to control your own reactions so that your husband does not shut you out. I promise you, if you freak out on him, you might just turn in to the "enemy". Sleeping with the "enemy" is no fun. This is not entirely his fault, the WTS has set him up to think that anyone who oppose the society are speaking for Satan. If you DO make this mistake, you will know right away, because you will see your husband's eyes widen, then dull, he will withdraw, and he will shut you out of further conversation. He might repeat, robot-fashion, "I KNOW it is the truth, I KNOW it is the truth." Those of us who have seen this know, it is a frightening experience.

    We have a son and are to be married the end of the year. Our son is 14 months and I refuse to allow him to be indoctrinated into this belief system. My fiance does not argue with me though he does believe this is DA TROOF!

    You are going to have to be extra vigilant, because JW's are taught not to directly oppose loved ones who are "unbelievers", but to slowly and patiently bring them around to the "right" way of thinking. He may be mouthing the promises now, but I could bet my bottom dollar he is going to be under increasing pressure to start bringing your son to the meetings so that the child will not "die".

    I just wish and pray the scales would just fall off of his (and is family's) eyes!

    My goodness, girl, you don't ask for much! Remember, God does not interfere with free will. If your fiancee freely choses to remain with the organization, you must have the grace to allow him that freedom. This will make it extremely difficult for you. The only consolation I can give is that God grieves the same for all those he loves who refuse His embrace.

    I need a miracle!

    Yes, you do. Get educated first. Memorize the serenity prayer. Read all the book suggestions and links offered here. Pray lots. Think in terms of years, not months, for a turnaround. This is spiritual warfare, child, and it is not for the faint of heart.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit