Question for Jim Ladd.

voltaire

Jim,

I just read on another post that you are close to being DF'ed for having doubts. I, too, am on the bubble, so to speak. I can't bring myself to go out in service anymore. This is the first month I'll have no time to report. I'm sure the elders will want to visit. I'm not sure if I should let them know that I'm having doubts.(The truth is, I'm not having doubts at all. I'm quite certain that JW's don't have the truth) I'm curious what you're going through. How have you expressed yourself? In other words, have you been frank in telling them that you don't agree with certain things, or just expressed concern?

just curious

Francois

You didn't ask me, but if you have family you want to stay in touch with, best you do the slow fade. They can't force you to meet with them, they can't force you to answer any questions against your will. They have no power over you that you don't give them. Tell them so.

You can't be walked on unless you lie down first.

Francois

Where it is a duty to worship the Sun you can be sure that a study of the laws of heat is a crime.

voltaire

Sorry. Looks like my question was for exodus, not Jim. I would be interested in knowing about other cases where someone was DF'ed for having doubts and/or disagreements. Just how far were you able to go?

voltaire

My wife is a JW. So is my mother. The problem is that I feel I'm reaching the limit of my ability to act like I believe this stuff. A part of me just wants to be honest about everything. I could quit going to meetings. I've faded about as far as I can given the fact that I have a wife in the org. If it weren't for her, I would've faded by now. It's actually getting difficult emotionally and psychologically to smile and act encouraged by attempts to help me.

Thanks for the advice, though.

MadApostate

Voltaire:

Only you know your own feelings, limitations, abilities, etc., thus only you can decide what is best for you.

However, if I could place myself into the circumstances you have thus described, I would take advantage of such and become a DOUBLE AGENT. EXs need folks on the inside to feed current info, materials etc. It could be handled mentally by using the "theocratic warfare" strategy against the WTS. LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, BELIEFS, FIELD SERVICE TIME, ETC. Start a website and post current materials like the monthly KM, etc. This would give you time to work on your relatives and possibly some friends. Your particular circumstances may present even other opportunities.

Remember, once you disclose "doubts", all of the above will likely be lost forever.

Oh, if I could only go back 13 years... The things I could and would do!!!

ChuckD

Oh, if I could only go back 13 years... The things I could and would do!!!

Amen to that! If I could go back to a time when I was an "insider" but; a) knew what I know now, and; b) realized then that the "powers" have no power over me whatsoever, it would be a wonderful situation, and I would make the most of it.

expatbrit

Voltaire:

I reached this point last year, where I just couldn't stomach the pretence anymore. Coming home from each meeting or field service session with a knotted stomach and barely controlled rage inside.

I stopped going, cold turkey. But I have been careful not to rock the boat further than that. If you don't do or say anything, they'll find it difficult to pin you down and df or forcibly da you.

Of course, it's tough not to try and tell the wife and family the truth about the truth, but it's a damn sight easier than sitting through thrice weekly hate and bullshit sessions, believe me. And if the elders wish to talk to you, avoid them. Be out, be busy, have an amputation scheduled, but avoid them.

Francoise is correct: the only power they have is the power you allow them. Make them play by your rules.

Mad Apostate's suggestions are interesting, but I think very tough to implement if you have wife and family in the Borg.

Expatbrit

ChuckD

Very true. For me, with no family still "in", their powers are null, but they do keep the Sword of Damocles hanging over others. Of course, I also don't have much interest in going near the place, but it feels good to know that the intimidation they once had is gone.

drahcir yarrum

About twenty years ago, I simply walked away. At first, I would visit other congregations sporadically and even had my publisher record transferred to another cong. Then I simply quit attending meetings altogether. Whenever I would run into another JW, and they would ask about my status, I would tell them that I was affiliated with a certain cong. but was thinking about moving to another (which I never did). They would seem to buy it and after awhile, no one ever asked me again.

I moved to another city and a young witness girl called at my door one day and I invited her in to chat. My wife, who was never a witness, thought I had lost my mind. I told this poor girl that I used to be a JW, had pioneered and had served at Bethel, but no longer believed in the organization or it's deceptive teachings. I tried to engage her in some thought provoking conversation, showing the inconsistancies of the J.W. teachings. You would have thought I had loosed Satan's demons on her. She jumped up, headed for the door and said she would bring some brothers back to discuss these matters with me. They never came to see me. Now I live in a gated community so they can't get to me if they wanted to.

Jim Lad

Well, even though misdirected at me I'll say this. The elders and most friends knew that I was pissed at what happened to my wife and how it made her lose her faith but not mine. Sadly, to some extent it's going to look like her Jezebel influence was somewhat successful. Also, I put up a smoke screen of saying I was going to go to another hall (my old one) on account of the average age of my newer congo being 70 (not kidding). Now nobody knows who's problem I am, anyone familiar with our situation is sick of trying to help and get nowhere, and I turned off my answering machine for awhile. If your in a city with lot's of halls do the same thing, that kind of confusion is too much for your average overworked elders to sort out.

Question for Jim Ladd.

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