Initially, I was very happy to learn the truth. But it did not take long before my whole world fell apart, and I fell into deep depression, divorce, 5 kids, no child support, suicided of family member, then disfellowshipped. I worked my way out of all this and felt very good, was very sucessful with career. But it was always nagging at me that I was DF. So, after 9 years I worked to be reinstated.
Same thing all over again, depression soon returned, but this time I was almost suicidal, took meds. Not that I would have killed myself, but my desire to live went to nothing. I was unemployed for 5 months and went days without getting out of bed. I remember waking up one morning and thinking how much I wanted to go back to sleep and wake up in Paradise. It scared me so bad, I jumped out of bed like it was on fire.
That was 5 years ago. I was never really happy as a witness.......only in the very beginning. Now that I do not go anymore I have never been happier. Everyday I feel better and live for now instead of a place way off in the future.
I remember a congo I went to in Texas and most everyone there seemed to suffering depression, like it was contagious as a catching a cold. Everyone just accepted it, it was just a very sad congo. Many at my congo now, are depressed. Now that I remember, even my best friend has been on meds, for quite some time now.
My daughter was getting very depressed, she said the meetings were all about death and destruction, so I never forced her to go anymore. I was concerned about her mental well-being.
How can anyone truely be happy when we are reminded regularly how we fall short and our only hope is to make it thru the close at hand destruction and then spend years and years cleaning up a huge mess, only to be tested again 1,000 years later.............Exhaustion can also lead to depression.
I have found it is a real problem among witnesses and very accepted illness.
purps
