Grandparents give grandson ultimatum

by EscapedLifer1 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat
    If they want to see your kids, let them come to your house and spend the time with them there. Accompanied by you or your wife.

    I don't see anything wrong with this. If my parents, wanted to see my children, I'd be happy to. On my terms. They're MY kids. And honestly, it's exactly what my parents did with my regarding my worldly grandparents. They got to see us...on Mom and Dad's terms.

  • EscapedLifer1
    EscapedLifer1

    Thanks all for the comments.

    From your comments, it sounds like we are being too easy on the JW grandparents. Our reasoning on letting the kids still see them was our attempt to make sure that we were always erring on the side of love and kindness, and if anyone was going to be unreasonable or cruel in this situation that it would always be them.

    But I see your points about the "behind our backs" attempts to convert our children. This has actually been a concern we have discussed. Given our boys' maturity and intelligence we didn't figure their "going back" was very likely at all. But even so, if the grandparents are doing their "duty" and witnessing to the boys regardless of our instructions, then we have a problem.

    Perhaps we will now rethink our position on visiting. Its a shame there is no honor among the JW's, no respect, only mindless obedience to WTBTS rules. They really do think they are doing the right thing.

    Thanks,

    Brandon

  • Buhdee
    Buhdee

    My two cents...

    I would have cancelled the entire thing and discussed it with the grandparents at a later time. That's a lot of stuff for a little guy to bear.

    But not picking them up at your house, please......that's a little overboard.

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    I have a friend who is dealing with this.

    She let me post a letter her mom sent.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/85327/1.ashx

    One of her main gripes is that she will not let her take her unsupervised or witness to her. Since the dub grandparents found out that the child was going to be raised Catholic they have pretty much cut off contact.

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    We do not let Darling Husbands mother see our boys any longer.

    We could not trust her to not always try to tell our older son about the WTS teachings.

    We first said no more visits at her house after she tried to give the WTS book of bible stories to him.

    So then we said you must visit at our house...but then it was her telling our son about the meetings.

    So now it's no more visits period.

    It doesn't help that she is mentally ill and is always talking about suicide and sexual issues that are not appropriate for a 5 year old.

    So now no contact.

    I'm sorry for your situation.

    In a perfect world love would come before personal beliefs.

  • kls
    kls

    Well put Why Georgia

  • tweety
    tweety

    Brandon, I can only tell you what I experienced with my 14 year old daughter. (I was so nieve and not thinking clear. Never did I think that my ex-husband and others were filling my daughters head with crap, not until it was to late)

    Her father would pick her up for his weekends and give her articles to read, trying to convince her how 'bad' her mother was for not going to the meetings anymore.

    He had elders talk to her.

    Had a sister from his hall have a bible study with her.

    Showed her pictures with scare tactics of Armagedon and if she stays with me, she will be the one who will die at Armagedon.

    Over a 2 year period, by daughter gave in. Now I have lost her completely.

    You know the Grandfather more than anyone on this post. (I am sure that he is a very nice Grandfather) But please ask yourself, 'Would he/grandmother or other(s) in the KH try to convince your son of thoughts that his FATHER OR MOTHER were 'bad' for not going to the meetings? Or give him articles to read? Show him pictures of Armagedon to scare him? Over a period of visits would he give in?"

    Please be careful

    Dee

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