Elder w/ bad child or wife, u must step down

by sandy 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • carla

    I'm not sure how far back people check here, but, yet another question- what if said husband is semi-famous in our region. Totally jw unrelated, would that also keep him in some sort of "special situation"? I understand the 'brownie point system. In fact I know more jw doctine than him!!! It annoys him no end. In fact I have given him page numbers, issue numbers, etc... but, yet he seems unwilling to look in their OWN library! So, I say, ok, I will buy them off ebay. Of course he doesn't like that idea either. I am so frustrated at the moment, I could spit nails! carla

  • Purza

    I was 18 when I was DF'd and my dad didn't step down. My parents used to use that tactic "your father will be deleted if you don't behave". He never was. Quite honestly, since my dad is getting up in age, and if was no longer allowed to be an elder, he would have no purpose life and he would probably kick it. Sad, but I believe it to be true.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Being famous actually can add to the brownie points. But only if they are good JWs and they can keep their not-so-good activities a secret.

  • Glofishy

    Former study here...so please forgive me if I don't know too much, but...

    If a man's wife or children are having problems, then I would think it would be logical to cut off anything that would take up precious time that really should be used to attend to his first duty...and that would be to take care of his family. I'm frankly disheartened that this isn't something that is normally done when one experiences problems within the family to that extent. I think it should apply to minor children, however. Once they are grown and out of the house, they are on their own and responsible for themselves...hopefully!

  • alw

    blondie hit the nail on the head, a lot depends on if the elder is wealthy or influencial in the territory.

    for e.g. when i served as a m.s. my 18 year old son decided he no longer believed, shock and horror to us, he said to me i better leave home so they dont make you step down as a m.s.

    obviously after trying to keep him in we eventually had to aquiese to his decision.

    i told him he was more important than any privilege in the world and right now he needed to be at home and stable.therefore i stepped down immediately.

    not long ago in the cong we were in, a certain elder,who hardly turned up for meets, but was in the clique where it counted had a daughter who went to town, met a worldly man, slept with him till the next day when she was finally found, as one of the other sis dobbed her in. only a few of us knew what had happened.the quick thinking elder arranged for his daughter to go live with a pioneer sis in a neighbouring cong. end of story. talk about double standards.

    hope this helps put things into perspective. mr.alw

  • Oroborus21

    Happened to my dad and he started the congregation for goodness sake, not too mention the Kingdom Hall was built on my grandfather's land.

    The rationale is that an Elder should be "exemplary" and if he can't control his own household how can he shepherd the flock? It sort of makes since but as all post reveal so far it doesn't work in practice.


  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    can't forget aqbout loopholes. One elder who was widely respected used the excuse for both his sons leaving was that "even God had a son who rebelled"

  • DHL
    Because the father is supposed to be the head of his house. If he cannot preside over his own house in "fine manner" then they suppose he cannot preside over the congregation very well. He and his family are supposed to be an example to the congregation.

    I agree with that. I have heard that argument, too. My dad was made to step back as elder right after I didn't show up with my parents at the KH anymore (my parents made me show up until I was 16 although I already told them aged 13 that I wouldn't be a JW). He had to step back although I was never df'ed oder da'ed officially as I never got baptised. He became elder again after about 4 or 5 years. He felt very bad about losing that position but he accepted it as punishment as he was not able to win me back i.e. do a good job as head of his house. That's what he himself told me. He failed so he had to be punished. Off course he felt he owed it to Jehovah to be punished, not the WT.

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