Letter to my mom (page 2)

AntiPode

Zugz:

Thank you for posting your letter; you are right that it is for your peace of mind.

You are dealing with a cult; cults can be religious, and cults obtain almost complete control over members. You have made the break from the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses and now want to make clear that break to a remaining member of the cult, in this case your mom.

I had a "friend" I wrote a letter to also, just so they would be aware of my stand, and the response was typical JW speak and jargon, parroting the same inculcated beliefs I had heard all my life. I mentioned to them why it is I knew everything they were thinking and going to say, yet they knew nothing of what I was thinking or saying to them? They didn't know how to answer. Perhaps it's the same with your mom, she does not know what to say except what she has been taught to say (that's what their books are for, to teach you how to think and what to say (ref. Reasoning from the Scripture)).

Critical analysis and thinking are not Witnesses' forte. That is not welcome or encouraged, so when you no longer are a member, one cannot expect current members to see or think as we now do, at least not immediately, but maybe something will spark the synapsis and trigger the process of ratiocination in their minds.

As my former friend does, members seek the reassurance of other members and the comfort of being in the cult to justify their thinking, seeing everything around them as supporting their skewed vision, not even considering it in some other way. They need to know how the WTS sees things before they can decide what to think.

Unfortunately I was taught that it is a fight, it was a struggle, I needed to defend the truth, to uphold the truth, to pummel my body (and mind); all teachings that put one on the defensive, to be negative about life (the world is out to get you, same with apostates), and that I can't accomplish anything worthwhile on my own, without their direction.

You have made the final break and can now begin your life. Whether you mom ever does only time will tell. You don't need her permission or the Society's to continue to live.

Welcome.

AntiPode

Rational def., based on reason; logical.

See also Rationalism def., that the only valid basis of belief is based on reason, not spiritual revelation or obedience to an authority; that reason is the prime source of knowledge and spiritual truth.

AntiPode

I just reviewed this article and highlighted points I got out of it and for some reason I could not get ANY of it to be posted other than the above portion.

Hopefully I can try again later as I don't know what the problem was/is.

Lehaa

Well done zug,

That's goto to have taken guts.

Congratulations on using their own publications to make them think.

I hope eventually your parents begin to see the light.

Here's hoping.

AntiPode

Here are some highlights I culled from the above articles (thanks Marjorie)

Today, the historical reasons for the religious divisions of mankind are largely forgotten; nevertheless, most people remain in the religion of their birthplace. But should the religion of our "choice" be left to chance? Should religion be a mere hand-me-down? Or should it result from a deliberate, rational decision? A look at Christianity in the first century will help to answer these questions.

Jesus himself came from

(One needs an open mind to become a Witness, but then you have to close it to stay one.)

Each convert to Christianity had to make a rational choice after listening and meditating on what he had heard. He needed to have a firm conviction because opposition had to be faced . All the early disciples were expelled from the synagogue, which meant being ostracized by the local community.

(Here they confuse rationality with being a true believer; also, their ?proof? they are right because of persecution.)

Could it be that this spirit is missing because relatively few have made a conscious choice in the matter of faith? If religion still matters to you, why not consider seriously the following article?

(How many Witness children made a choice, or were told what to believe?)

Despite belonging to two different religions, Pedro had not made a conscious choice in either case. The choice was made for him by others. His experience has been repeated countless times over the centuries. In fact, relatively few of the five billion people alive today have made a deliberate choice in the matter of religion. Their religion is usually something that was inherited, much like their appearance, their traits, or the home where they live.

(Were Witnesses given a choice, or told there was a right one, and a wrong one, therefore no real choice?)

For this reason, throughout the earth there are some who are taking a second look at the religion they have inherited from their forefathers. Instead of considering this a betrayal of a family tradition that must be cherished unquestioningly , their spiritual longing has moved them to search for something better. This was the case with Hiroko, whose father was a Buddhist priest at .

(How many Witnesses did you know checked into their religions past or questioned anything?)

Hiroko felt that it was worthwhile to make her own choice , even though it differed from that of her parents. "I am overjoyed at finding enlightenment, and now I do not have the nagging questions and anxieties that plagued me for so many years," she explains. But whether you are happy with your present religion or not, it still behooves you to make a choice .

(And if a Witness child chooses not to be a Witness?)

Most of us, if we stopped to think about it, would agree that religion is something that is too important to be left to chance . Why, even in everyday matters, we try to control our own lives as much as possible. Who wants to be just a victim of circumstances?

?Only the foolhardy would do that?, you may think. Such matters should not be taken lightly. And yet, for many of us one of life?s most crucial decisions ?which religion we should profess? has been decided for us by chance, by long-forgotten quirks of history, and by place of birth.

Would it not be wise to ask yourself: ?To what do I owe my religion? Was it a hand-me-down that I have never questioned? Or did I make a deliberate, rational choice?? Asking such questions is the very thing that the Bible urges us to do. The apostle Paul admonished the Corinthians to ?keep testing whether they were in the faith, to keep proving what they themselves were.?-2 Corinthians 13:5.

(Are Witnesses ?foolish? if they don?t question their religion, or only people of other religions?)

On the other hand, some were moved to reconsider their religious upbringing. In both cases a deliberate choice was made after a thorough examination based on God?s Word. Why not imitate the course of Sergius Paulus and Timothy? One changed his religion, the other did not; but both were rewarded by personally finding the truth. Nevertheless, because of tradition, fear, or prejudice, some may feel reticent about taking such a step.

(Are Witnesses afraid to learn it is all a sham, therefore won?t look at anything that may show them it is?)

As knowledge increases, traditional procedures are often modified or even replaced in fields such as medicine, science, and technology. In these areas most people have an open mind , which is conducive to betterment. Even though we may think that our religious tradition is of divine origin, the Bible warns us "not [to] believe every inspired expression" but, rather, to "test the inspired expressions to see whether they originate with God." (1 John 4:1) It recommends that we "make sure of all things; hold fast to what is fine." (1 Thessalonians 5:21) Worthwhile traditions will always hold up under such scrutiny.

(This gives justification to questioning any and all things. I know this would be scary for a Witness parent to hear their child(ren) say.)

Another obstacle to making a choice in matters of religion is fear . "I never discuss religion or politics!" is a common remark. Fear of discovering that we have been misled or fear of what others may think are powerful excuses for doing nothing. In Jesus? day there were many who recognized the worth of his teaching but held back from acknowledging him as the Messiah "for fear of being banned from the synagogue. For they valued their reputation with men rather than the honour which comes from God."-John 12:42, 43, NE.

(Yes, Witnesses will not question things out of fear of men (WTS).)

After putting aside his early prejudice, Ricardo agreed with another observer, who wrote that Jehovah?s Witnesses "in their organization and witnessing work . . . come as close as any group to approximating the primitive Christian community." He now feels that an open mind is essential in making the best possible choice.

If a Witness were to apply this information to their own religion they would be considered apostate.

The process of being a Witness has nothing to do with rationalization.

zugzwang

Thanks for your comments about my letter. Unfortunately, today my mom is acting as if I never even wrote the letter. No response, no anger, no sadness, no confusion, no nothing. It's like she didn't even read it at all. It's like no thought process was engaged at all. She went into automatic JW shutdown mode, so in denial that even to acknowledge my response to her letter is avoided. I had been doing really well for quite some time, but now for the first time in months I'm depressed again. I can't save her, or anyone else. Sometimes I think I'm better off not trying. But thanks for the encouraging words though, especially alleymom. That info is good to have.

zugz

tetrapod.sapien

hey zugz, that letter was awesome. you wrote it so well! i really identified with it. everything from pioneering and being an MS, to your journey for truth after taking the WTS own advice. i have had the same discussions with my mom, with the same responses.

i can see how it would be depressing. especially with ones own mother. hang in there buddy. time will heal.

TheListener

Hi Zugz. That was quite a letter. I hope you get the results you wish. Dealing with our family members still in the truth can be the most difficult thing about leaving the WTS. They feel that they have every right to judge and hate us, when in fact we're just trying to be true to what we know. Keep up the healing.

Alleymom

Unfortunately, today my mom is acting as if I never even wrote the letter. No response, no anger, no sadness, no confusion, no nothing. It's like she didn't even read it at all. It's like no thought process was engaged at all. She went into automatic JW shutdown mode, so in denial that even to acknowledge my response to her letter is avoided. I had been doing really well for quite some time, but now for the first time in months I'm depressed again.

{{{{{ Zugz }}}}}}

I'm no counselor, so take this with a grain of salt, but it seems to me that it's perfectly understable that you might be feeling let down and depressed right now.

After all, you put your heart into that letter and summoned up the courage to give it to your mom, and you were prepared to deal with her reaction --- and then, nothing. No response. I can see how you feel sort of deflated emotionally. Physiologically, you had your fight-or-flight hormones all flowing, but now that the immediate crisis is over, it's no wonder if you feel drained or depressed.

Try to remember that when you hurt it's because you CARE, and that's a good thing. You love your mom, and you want to know that she still loves and accepts you.

It's hard, and we all feel for you! But try to be patient and do keep hoping! After all, you can't really know what's going on in your mom's heart and mind right now. She just may need some more time to process this.

Weren't you enouraged by 4JWY's message? I thought it was a great story!

Even if you feel so down you just want to be by yourself right now, it might do you some good to get together with a friend or two and watch a funny movie or play some video games. Laugh a little and try to put the whole thing with your mom aside for a few hours.

Just my two cents ...

Gotta close with another hug!!!!

{{{{{{{{ ZUGZ }}}}}}}}}}}}}

Marjorie

Letter to my mom

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