hello ex-jw's! here is my story as originally posted on iidb.org. it is only about a week old, but i have been lurking here for months. it was written for non ex-jw's, ergo the explainations as to terminology. i hope this is the right area for this sort of post. if i am in error, then feel free to redirect, mods. nice to be here!! here it is:
greetings fellow infidels!
well, some brief history is perhaps in order. i was raised as a jehovah's witness, and until today, i was officially a jehovah's witness. i was liberal for a witness, but still for years believed the same poison as all witnesses believe, and bugged you all on saturday mornings (sorry about that). i met my wife in "the truth" (as they refer to their faith). all my friends and family are still witnesses, and intend to remain as such until shortly, when at Armageddon God Jehovah will tear all infidels (incl moi) asunder with his wrath, and all witnesses will build a paradise on earth and wear dress slacks and summer dresses and have many happy cobra and lion petting picnics in meadows by streams. this last saturday, i drove a letter around to my family and friends and elders (pastors) that stated i no longer wished to be a JW. everyone reacted adversely, of course, and many cried and said their final goodbye's to me (as obviously being under the official control of satan the deceiver). as witnesses, they are commanded by the governing body to cut off, socially, those who have done as i have. tonight was the night, at their weekly meetings in my city, that they publicly announced to hundreds of individuals that i no longer am a JW. this is a rare occurrence in this religion/cult, as most people who leave are kicked out for "sinning", and of those who leave of their own choice, the majority become born agains or some similar mythology-beleiving/lovebombing/fundie theists. i have lost many friends, and many associates, but gained my freedom of thought and action for what i have come to appreciate as the most logical position for our species, atheism. today, i guess, is really the first day as me, and it feels great. i feel like my own person, and wanted to share the event with you all. hello world (and iidb!).
so why did i disassociate myself from the JWs, and become an atheist?
without taking much more of your time, it all started with questions regarding the genesis creation account that i had suppressed for years, thanks to my cognitive dissonance. i turned to one of the watchtower's books on "refuting" evolution. this book was iron clad to me when i "studied" it as a teenager, but this time something different happened. in the first chapter, it invites people to be "intellectually honest" about the issue of creation, and although it surely was not intended by the WT to include the vice versa application, i decided to apply the truism to myself, and "follow the facts wherever they led me". and so, ironically, one of my own WT books set me on this odyssey of science, reason, logic, evidence and truth. the book itself, after i dug in, was full of logical fallacies, gross misquotations of scientists and very selective "evidence". i see now, the stupidity of all of their output, but anything to do with science is especially laughable. i surely need not explain the details of my journey to iidb, but here is a brief (for me) overview.
one of the first sites i came across in my search for secular essay references, was (thankfully) talkorigins.org. and so i started reasoning (bear with me, i was raised a fundie after all):
if the genesis creation account is rubbish, then what about the rest of genesis as literally interpreted by the WT? what about noah/flood? the fall of man from perfection? Gods dealings with early humans etc.? *imperfection and salvation*? i realized, that if genesis was called into question, then so was the rest of the "inerrant" bible. everything JW's believe has it's roots in genesis afterall. what would it be like to research what i held to be true, through the eyes of a skeptic? and if the WT was scientifically dishonest, then was not spiritual/moral honesty also called into question? the rest was a psychologically hellish tour de force while i learned critical thinking ability, tools of logic and most importantly, the scientific method. i destroyed my faith over the course of six months as i read and read and read and read. it was exhilarating and devastating all at the same time. everything i held true, arrogantly and ignorantly, came crashing down around me under the weight of their own dishonesty's. and here i am today.
i arrived at the conclusion regarding my being an official JW about 2 months ago, that i had to make a stand for atheism. i wonder how many other JWs there are in the closet as free thinkers, in fear of losing friends and family to the cult? but i had to come out. i had to state who i am to those who love me and respect me, even if i knew they would shun me in the end. me, an atheist at the basic level. i could have just faded away from the religion, like many do, but that would have been dishonest.
i am angry. i feel ripped off that i have spent my entire life following the ancient mythologies of some crazy middle eastern backwater nomadic tribe. for being removed from science classes on evolution in school growing up. what a pathetic lie!! i hope with time, as i heal from the indoctrination process of the witnesses, and nurture my atrophied imagination back to working order, that the awe of existence here in the cosmos will turn me into a self respecting individual, trying to make the world a better place.
i hope to contribute to this community, and look forward to becoming more active. sorry for the long-windedness, but i would be happy to answer any supplementary questions regarding my deconversion. thanks for the opportunity to post this to iidb.
i realize it sounds melodramatic, but i want to say that today i officially became "me". i lost a lot, by most standards, in officially leaving "the truth". but was standing up for intellectual honesty, logic and science worth it? yes, indeed.
tetrapod.sapien
a.a #709