Were you criticized for being outspoken & lacking tact?

by LongHairGal 29 Replies latest jw experiences

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  lawrence

  Elsewhere-

  Yes, told to dumb down my vocabulary too.

  By a C.O. to say "I don't know the answer to that question" - even if I did. By the Brooklyn Service Committee to "give the wrong answer sometimes, it reflects humility." By a P.O. after a public talk, "my, wasn't that bombastic today." And tact... well I thought if Jeremiah could say it, I would too, "householder, if you don't accept Jehovah's Divine Plan, expect to be hung on meat hooks at Armageddon." J.R. Brown and I preached together on a couple of occasions, talk about tact. That man is/was an animal.
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  MerryMagdalene

  As a child I was very open, outspoken and opinionated but at some point I morphed into a chameleon-like people-pleaser, always trying to anticipate what people wanted and expected so I could adaptm but that didn't work out so good either. Now I'm just trying to find my middle ground....

  ~Merry (of the i-did-it-their-way class)
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  greendawn

  In a high control cult group you will invariably have trouble if you are outspoken against the group's beliefs, at best you will be marginalised they will be saying he/she is not a good brother/sister and they will never look at you with a straight face. If you carry on eventually they will put stronger pressure on you to leave or directly expel you. No good for people that like a free debate society.
  
  This was my experience, their belief system is so rotten if freely criticised it will fall apart very quickly and the WTS will be gone.
  
  So to keep their millions of slave workers(that's their real intention)they suprees free debate under the guise of "preventing divisions in God's own people" and they even present a biblical verse twisted as usually to support their position.
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  Shania

  When I wanted to pioneer the elders met with me and I just thought it was a formality to see if I could handle putting in that many hours. WOW, WAS I MISTAKEN!!!!!!!!!!!! It was come in here my child so we can rip you to peices...................that they did----------what a horrible memory, my heart sank when I realized they are not going to encourage me, they are picking out every flaw I had since I was a child I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. Well one flaw that was pointed out to me by the three stooges was YOU HAVE NO TACT.............".yeah so" I said, then they proceed to insult my family by saying well we know it is not your fault because you family has not tact either so it was the way you were raised.

  Oh thank you wise stooges for pointing this out to me, but don't you have to be a little forward to be a pioneer, you are put in awkward circumstance that you might have to be a little blunt, Jesus by all means was forward and blunt........................I look back now and can't believe I sat through that and cried for a week and still pioneered. The funny fact was those three stooges were the most tactless men in our congregations at the time.................picking on a poor kid who wanted to do more for God............I hate them-------------there hows that for Tact...............
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  Carmel

  Well, asking too many questions in a confrontational manner, according to the Cong.Serv.

  Guess the answer is yes!

  carmel
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  diamondblue1974

  I once used the word pedantic in an answer at the watchtower and got counselled(tm) for using words that nobody else understood....(says it all); I didnt get many brownie points from the smelders for saying that it was about time people read a dictionary either but then again...
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  LongHairGal

  All your stories make me feel better. At least I know I wasn't alone. It was especially hard for me because I was raised by people who expected me to speak up. When you become a JW they expect you to be the opposite. Especially a woman. They think you are going to be some little mealy-mouthed creature!
  
  I have to confess though, when I came up against a real phony who said something to insult my intelligence, something a little bad would happen to me and I couldn't resist giving a dig or two. Shame on me (ha, ha).
  
  LHG
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  blondie

  I was afraid to answer; can you guess that I was the sister with an attitude. Sadly for them, I was right 99.9% of the time. They learned to leave me alone. But I was always respectful, phrasing my statements as a question. Outspoken but full of tact.

  Blondie
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  stillajwexelder

  Yes very - at first when a I came in da troof - then over time I stripped off the old personality and became less outspoken - but I still overall tend to be outspoken- control feak type presiding overseers did not like it
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  crinklestein

  I had tact but I was outspoken indeed. My tact would lessen, though, depending on how irritated I was and how confrontational I became. I also suffered from the "Everything I say is offensive to someone" syndrom and when someone told me they were offended by what I said I would just reply, "And?"

  Mostly though, I was outspoken with my questions about things. The longer I was in the more things I found that were contradictory. Like why were we told that there is no accurate knowlege without the WTS' bible study aids? Obviously the ones that wrote them didn't have these aids so where did they get THEIR knowledge? Why are we told that we are not to take our own understanding of the Bible when the Proclaimers book describes in almost those exact words that this is what Rutherford did when he start this whole cult?

  There were many more but whenever I had a question like this I would ask someone while out in service or hanging out. Eventually it got back to the elders and I was taken to the dreaded back room and told to stop with the questions because I was trying to undermine and destroy people's faith. I said that I was trying to get answers to things that appeared to be contradicting and that any Christian has the right to do these things. It went back and forth and I showed them the scripture about how, after a long convention of the Law, the men went to consult the scrolls to see if what was said was accurate. I told them that the Bible encourages believers to take what they hear, compare it to the scrolls/Bible to see if they agree with each other and to question it if it does not.

  I've posted about this before and don't feel like getting too into it but it ended with them telling me to stop asking questions or I could be labeled as an apostate. That opened my eyes on how they really were and it was never the same after that. I slowed down and soon left the area.