I Think I'm Getting Through To My Daughter! (page 2)

Carmel

I hope you've book marked this site! Inquiring minds will naturally check it out!

carmel

love11

Awww... you brought tears to my eyes. Love

adelmaal

Awww... Thanks everyone! You gals/guys are all so supportive ...

It was a small step for mankind but a large step for my daughter... She wanted to go on some website where she could put together fashion looks for some kind of dolls that are popular now. I believe they are called "My Scene" dolls. She mentioned to me the fact that I had bought her one for her birthday. Who knew?

She is most certainly going to be a handful at 16 with her "bad self" but I am also hoping she is a normal handful minus that cult influence . I was a handful and would not expect anything less. She's actually already becoming quite the handful. I'm sure it will eventually be her downfall with the dub relatives (especially with her passive-agressive controlling PO grandfather).

It was just such a shocker to hear her say "I am not a Jehovah's Witness" because up until recently she has always said, "Because I'm a Jehovah's Witness" whenever anyone asked her why she could or could not do something in school (holidays, etc.). I am glad to see that my grinding it into her head that "Just because your dad is a Jehovah's Witness does not mean you need to be one also. I chose not to be a Jehovah's Witness and I am now a Christian. You will eventually decide how you want to worship God when you are older. For now you are a child experiencing life." is working.

Billygoat

Adel,

You sound like a great mom! Many parents don't realize that allowing their children to make their own decisions actually teaches them to make GOOD decisions. It's when you're FORCED to do something that makes you resent it and buck the system. Keep doing what you're doing and hopefully your husband will try to keep cramming his JW crap down her throat. And we all know what that'll do to her...it'll make her run straight into your arms.

Andi

Jez

I too have a 10 year old. The best thing that we did for her was to get her involved in a local church. It is all done with the premise that she is to keep doors open at this age, explore, enjoy and learn to love herself and her community. Her church is great about including other churches in the community and they all support each other. She is learning that the things that JWs say about churches, are not true and in fact speaks up often. If one of her dub family says something about a church, her standard line is now, "Have you ever been to church? Then how do you know?"

She goes to a summer bible camp that is FANTASTIC and she has met many many people through that camp that truly love children and teach them the fundementals of LIFE. That love must be shown first, the fruits of the spirit, etc. No harsh doctrinal in-training spiritual soldiers like JWs.

She does not need me to say much, just to direct her, because the differences between 'the real world' and how JW's portray it, speaks volumes because she is experiencing it for herself.

I won't let her be sheltered, I get her OUT there, INTO the world as much as possible, in POSITIVE things, let her see that JW's have it wrong through real life experience. I tell her about the Salvation Army, she volunteers sorting clothes out there, I make sure I point out positive things about this world so that when she does hear the doom and gloom message on Dad's end of things, she will know that it is their perception and not everything that comes out of their mouth is "the truth".

Plug her into real life when she is with you. Take her out of the bubble and show her the good side to being "worldly". Soon she will not be able to reconcile the teachings of JWs and her experiences out in the 'big bad world' and she will be truly free.

IMHO. Best to you, Jez

Billygoat

She is learning that the things that JWs say about churches, are not true and in fact speaks up often. If one of her dub family says something about a church, her standard line is now, "Have you ever been to church? Then how do you know?"

LOLOL! I LOVE IT! What a smart little cookie!

adelmaal

Jez:

Your posts have inspired me on more than one occasion. It sounds like you are doing great with your daughter and I am trying to follow suit

Jez

Thank you ada..I hate to say it, but I so want her to grow up. Her age is one of 'wanting to please' mommy or daddy still. I can't believe I am saying this, but I can't wait for her need for independance to kick in. She came home crying this past weekend from his house bec she he is tooo happy when she goes to the meetings with him and she hates to disappoint him so does not know how to tell him that she hates it. She can't stand the thought that he thinks she is going to die and that he feels pity for her having to grow up in a 'worldly' home.

Very difficult time right now with religion. SO, I am going to church with her this weekend. (she usually goes with her friends, I go once in a while to support her)

Jez

adelmaal

wanting to please

I believe I can relate to that statement. My daughter is in that same mindset. I feel like she is constantly feeling like she needs to measure up to either her dad's or my expectations of her and his expectations are so high! I don't want her to always feel like she is falling short of the mark or that she is disappointing her dad. I want her to know she is a good person and it is not always about what dad wants or what mom wants. Some things are about what she wants and she does not need to feel guilty for wanting something different.

I know when I was little I always felt like I was responsible for my dad's happiness. It was a heavy burden for a little girl to bear. She will realize someday that it is he that should be empowering her to be happy (not vice versa).

I hope all goes well with church this weekend. Give her hugs for me and my daughter Lexi. Maybe they can chat online together sometime. I'm sure that Lexi would love it.

DanTheMan

That's great news, congratulations!

I wish I could get through to my Pentecostal nephew... :(

I Think I'm Getting Through To My Daughter!

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