Faders: did local JWs give you a going away party?

by Open mind 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Open mind
    Open mind


    For those who choose to fade, leaving your old congregation is often a first step.  Did you switch congos while stll in "Good Standing" (tm)?  If so, did the local JWs try to give you a going away party?  Did you accept?

    We were in the same congo for well over 10 years.  I had served as an elder for most of that time.  Raised our kids there.  I learned TTATT about 2.5 years before my wife did.  As soon as the blinders came off for her my first move was to "step aside" as an elder.  A couple months later, we decided to switch congos.  Since there was no obvious external reason for our move (job change, aging parents, being asked to move to help a different congo, etc.) the local JWs probably took our decision as a bit of a "screw you". Therefore, no one organized a "going away" party for us. On the one hand, it hurt a little bit, but overall, we're glad we didn't have to put on fake smiles and deal with a couple hours of nosy questions.

    How about you?


  • steve2
    It is always easier to be yourself when Mom and Dad live in another state. :)
  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    I refused to allow them to have one for us - just the thought of certain corrupt Elders trying to appear sorry to see us go, made me feel sick. When someone warned me of a possible surprise, I told them not to bother, thanks.

  • Giordano

    My formative years from 13 to 18 was spent in the New Rochelle New York congregation. It was filled with 'first's. My first real interaction with a variety of adults, my first field service, first talk, first hour public talk, first year as a pioneer.

    When I left to pioneer where the need was great which was Kane PA there was another set of firsts, I held three important (at least to me) positions because it was a very small group, I gave my talk throughout the circuit. I met my wife and she pioneered with me.

    However I could never resolve my doubts about being a JW nor could she so we stopped pioneering and quietly made plans to leave. In our case we were mentally out and now really needed to get the rest of our lives started, education, career, raise a family. So this became another first........the first time in our lives where we took total control over the direction of our lives and our beliefs or lack there of.  

    What really bothered us was that as we got ready to move we realized that other then a few funky bible studies we hadn't developed any relationships apart from the 'friends'. 

    My friendships from those long term congregations were mutually abandoned.

    At least we had one another those first couple of years and a small community of EX JW's that we stayed in touch with.

    After that within a few years life was everything we thought it could be.

    Every time I hear the Rolling Stones do 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' I think....tell me about it Mick........ try being a JW.

  • DesirousOfChange

    "Here's your hat. What's your hurry?"

    and...... "Don't the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"

    was about all the going away stuff we got. 

    (Don't go away mad. Just go away!)

    On the other hand........we were glad to get outta there!


  • OnTheWayOut

    I never went away, just faded.  My wife still attends the same congregation and they still have my card.  No party.

    WELL.......maybe there was a party, but none of the congregation attended it.  A bunch of former JW's joined me, though.

  • blondie

    If you went from one congregation to another in the same city....no party.

    If you went outside the circuit...maybe a party.

    If you went to Bethel, Gilead, where the need is great, etc., a party.

    If you were popular and rich, a party but only the elite were invited.

  • 3rdgen
  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    What Blondie said, plus it depends on the congregation.

    And there are some COs that we had a "get-together" for their last visit. Other COs we had parties after they left!

  • FayeDunaway

    They gave us a beautiful going away party. 

    I still feel guilty about it , I tried to stop them as hard as a I could. 


    Giordano, I think about leaving the religion every time I hear john Lennon's 'wheels'

    i'm just sittin here watching the wheels go round and round,

    i really love Watch em roll

    no longer riding on the merry go round

    i just had to let it go

    next time you hear it, listen to the verses too. It really fits. 

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