I'm writing my disassociation letter to the elders. Any advice on wording?

by swiftbreeze 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • swiftbreeze
  • blondie

    I would concentrate on only a couple of points that are the most important to you.

    Make is something personal that the elders can use to make personal application.


  • Dustin

    I'll send you mine I just wrote if you want. I just gave it to them 2 weeks ago.


  • Amazing1914

    While its a very personal decision for each person, I do wish that I had not written my disassociation letter. [It was not a diret disassociation letter, but the elders used it that way.] If you feel that you can survive without making a statement orally or in writing, then simply ignore these clowns and move on with your life. Why give them anything in writing? By doing so, we play the game according to the Society rules. If you do write your letter, however, I recommend considering the following:

    1. If you have no specific legal complaints, keep your letter very brief, to the point, and keep a copy. The elders will keep the original and give a copy to the Society. The Society saves these things forever, even after your death. I had my own letter come back to visit me during a deposition twelve years later. The Society had everything I had written.

    2. If you have a legal complaint, talk to a lawyer first. A good example of a serious legal concern may be the child molestation issue. Let your attorney give you advice and even write the letter on your behalf. This may prove very important to you in the event of future legal challenges against the Society.

    3. If your issue is not legal, but simply doctrinal or moral, and all you really want to do is to get a message or statement through to the elders, then tell one of them personally. Have a face-to-face meeting with your favorite elder, with no witnesses or only witnesses on your side (or a secret tape recording). Do not put anything in writing. This way, you and/or those who witness your statements can note what you said, but the elder only has your words, and nothing in writing.

    If you proceed to send a lengthy disassociation letter filled with your concerns over doctrine and moral issues, it will fall on deaf ears. The elders will get about a quarter way into your letter, stop reading it, and file it away. Your message will not be heard, and you time will be wasted. I have been there and done that ... and, that is how I also acted when I was an elder and congregation secretary.

    Whatever you decide, let us know how it goes. - Jim W.

  • swiftbreeze

    Thanks alot everyone, Dustin you can send a copy to my email i'll use it for reference if i decide to finally write one. I don't know i just want to tell SOMEONE how i feel for some reason, i thought about the fact that they probably won't even read it because of the brain programming. I ran into a sister that i knew and she had this smug look on her face, I wanted to slap her. I don't know i'm feeling real confrontational today. Maybe i'll sip on some wine and just chill....

  • tweety

    Hello Swiftbreeze,

    I started to laugh when I read your comment :

    (I wanted to slap her. I don't know i'm feeling real confrontational today. Maybe i'll sip on some wine and just chill....)

    That is EXACTLY something that I would say or do! haaa


  • love11

    Short and sweet.

    To whom it may concern:

    I am writing to disassociate myself.

    Sincerely, ___________

  • AlmostAtheist

    I've seen myself waver on this. On the one hand, submitting the letter is playing by their rules. Like the earlier poster said, just forget about them. If they come around and DF you later, that's their business. It was their party, let THEM clean up.

    On the other hand, there seems to be some catharsis that comes from stating your views back to them, even while knowing they probably won't read them and surely won't "get" them.

    And now this third hand has weighed in, that of not providing them with any written materials they can burn you with later. I've learned painfully over the years that an email, a letter, or a voicemail can bite you in the buttocks and keep right on chewing until there's nothing left. From that perspective, it might be a great idea to skip the letter and if you feel you need to DA, just call and let them know. They'll say, "Well, submit a letter to the PO, sign and date it, yada, yada" and you can say, "No, I don't want to waste any more time on the Watchtower. Consider this phone call my letter." Then you get to DA and STILL not play by the rules!


  • alw

    swiftbreeze, hi,

    like you i feel angry, and can relate to you wanting to smack that smug sisters face, but wait,think carefully,especially about writing your dis letter.because of anger i nearly wrote mine and after some good advice from this site i waited and was recommended to this site, http://www.empowerthespirit.com/truthquest/whoami.htm after reading the article "who am i"i changed my mind at least for now.

    good idea to sit down and have a wine, ozzie likes charaz, and he would be good company.if you dont know him hes in the members directory.

    keep us informed.mr.alw

  • Honesty

    Hi Swiftbreeze,

    I called the PO up and asked him to get another elder on the phone via conference calling. Then I told both of them that I was not going to be a part of the WTS because it was all a big lie and they were only lying to themselves if they stayed in after knowing the things the three of us knew about the organisation. It may have been better doing it another way. It did feel good to tell them, though.

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